


on this (heart-fluttering) road we walk together

by soobiscuits



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Historical, M/M, yet another low-key yixing appreciation fic hehe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-08 05:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 40,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12248205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soobiscuits/pseuds/soobiscuits
Summary: Young Master Do Kyungsoo goes undercover to find out if the person he's engaged to is nice.





	on this (heart-fluttering) road we walk together

**Author's Note:**

> For Prompt #87.
> 
> Warning for mentions of (non-main characters) deaths, a little graphic violence, and age-gap (if you're fussy).
> 
>  
> 
> Wow. I'm so glad I managed to complete this despite the challenges I faced. This piece of work isn't my best, but it is my longest story thus far so I'm still proud of myself :)
> 
> Thank you, prompter, for your brilliant prompt, though I must apologise for not writing it as you have dictated. Instead of it happening in, perhaps, kingdoms, this happened in Joseon. Nevertheless, I hope you'll enjoy it! ^^
> 
> Thank you, mods, for organising this fest for the second round, and for your endless encouragement. Thank you, writers, for motivating one another and for story ideas and, well, other general miscellaneous stuff (ie, spazzing about chansoo) as well. Many hearts and kisses for these wonderful people! <3
> 
> And finally, a huge thank you to my t-list for everything that they've done. All my rants and complaints throughout the past few months of writing, thank you for taking them in your stride and for encouraging me when times were (extremely) tough. You guys are _the_ best.  <3
> 
> Ps, a special shoutout to I, who has been listening to me and encouraging me during the last leg of me writing this. You're amazing and I don't know what I'd do without you. <33
> 
> Pps, to everyone else, please enjoy!
> 
> Ppps, who knew that watching sageuk dramas would help in writing this lmao + I think I'm an expert on the Joseon Dynasty now with the amount of research I did 
> 
> Pppps, because I used several Korean terms throughout the story, I thought it'd be good to compile them into a glossary for reference. and here it is, [The Glossary](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rC0kFxKYhd_LCdyR_4jQzUU4EiW_1shnXumvlTpJ1u4/edit?usp=sharing)!
> 
> Ppppps, please do continue to love and support both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol (and EXO)! <3
> 
> Pppppps, title taken from EXO's 'walk on memories'

_“Are you sure you want to do this?”_

_“Yes,_ eomanim _.”_

_“Alright, I’ll arrange it for you.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_“I hope you know what you’re doing.”_

_“I do, don’t worry.”_

_"Oh, I'm not worried about you, Kyungsoo. I'm worried about_ him _.”_

_“...”_

_“Have fun while you're there,_ adeul _!”_

 _“_ Eomanim _!”_

 

\---

 

Ever since he could remember, Kyungsoo has always been told that he's engaged and that when of age—at eighteen years old—he'll be married off to the person whom he's been engaged to since birth.

It was his grandfather’s idea. An idea that, while growing up, Kyungsoo had downright loathed, utterly detested, and absolutely _hated_. While it hadn’t restricted his freedom, the idea had been troublesome. In all his seventeen-going-on-eighteen years of life in the Do family, youngest son Do Kyungsoo could still do most of the things he loved. For example, he could still wade in the river behind his home, run through the woods that surround the village he resided in, and hunt for game in the deeper parts of the woods. His family didn’t care much for those; there’s nothing bad about them, or at least until Kyungsoo sheepishly returns home with injuries (which would then earn him punishments in the forms of light whipping on the calves from his formidable mother).

What youngest son Do Kyungsoo couldn't do, however, were two things. The first was not to stay out too late. Kyungsoo could never partake in any late-night activities, be it the ones organised by his classmates from the institution he studied at, or the ones held by the village. Bonfires, festivals, celebrations, birthday parties. If it took place in the night, after his curfew of _hae shi_ , Kyungsoo would be unable to attend. Even if he had Yixing with him, his mother would still sternly give him a firm _no, Kyungsoo, you may not_.

The second of ‘what youngest son Do Kyungsoo couldn’t do’ was to express interest in anyone. That had been hard. Really hard. Truly hard. Excruciatingly hard. It was _painfully_ challenging because, needless to say, Kyungsoo had his fair share of crushes. In his defence, Kyungsoo would like to say that he was but a growing child whose curiosity and raging hormones needed to be sated. His growing self required satisfaction in the form of going ga-ga over people who have caught his eyes and got his heart racing with their exceptionally good looks, tall and overbearing stature, and deep and rough-around-the-edge voices. It didn't take long for Kyungsoo to discover his preference for males (in which he had been kindly—and firstly—informed by Yixing). While his mother always reprimanded him on his growing infatuations, Kyungsoo (or the ever-perceptive Yixing, actually) was quick to notice how the woman did not say a single thing when Kyungsoo had loudly, but timidly, revealed that he liked boys better than girls. In fact, there was a hint of relief in her eyes while a smile tugged at the corners of her lips.

(Kyungsoo hadn't understood the reason for his mother's supposed delight at his confession back then. It was until he learnt the name and gender of the person he's engaged to do Kyungsoo realise why his mother had behaved like that.)

The two things that he was—and still is—prohibited to do made Kyungsoo vehemently hate the idea. He’s only _engaged_ , not _married_ (or embalmed). And even if he was married, Kyungsoo doesn’t see a point in prohibiting him from staying out late when he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. (Though, liking someone else might be a problem.) Still, Kyungsoo is a growing young man, only seventeen-going-on-eighteen years old. He _shouldn’t_ need to follow these rules. Ugh, oh how he utterly hates this idea.

The _person_ , however, who proposed this blasted idea is someone Kyungsoo wished he could hate, but knows he never could. He'd try his hardest, try his damndest to will his mind to come up with ridiculous excuses to blame this person. Yet, the moment Kyungsoo recalls all the happy times he'd shared with that person, he'd realise that he can't.

Kyungsoo can never hate his grandfather.

Kyungsoo's grandfather was the father Kyungsoo never had. In the year Kyungsoo was born, his father was ambushed, robbed, and brutally murdered by bandits. He and his entourage were passing through a mountain path on their way to a neighbouring village for business when that tragic incident happened. The Do family had been devastated. The loss of their family head and strongest man in the house meant severe ramifications. Despite being the most wealthy and influential family in the village, the lack of a family head signified weakness and vulnerability. It was clear to anyone that the Dos could face being overthrown by other families in the village or neighbouring ones. Their livestock and personal inventories could be taken from them, while their servants would be imprisoned or enslaved.

And, the Do family exiled or killed.

This reason was why Kyungsoo’s grandfather, despite his old age, came out of the shadows, renounced his retirement, and once again took up the position of head of the household. This reason was also why Kyungsoo’s mother turned out to be strong, firm, and fiercely protective of her precious sons. This reason, too, was why Kyungsoo’s older brother, Do Seungsoo, was arranged to marry the daughter of an equally wealthy and influential household from a neighbouring village.

This realistically _frightening_ reason was why the idea was born and made an unknowing Kyungsoo to be engaged to someone he would never meet until the day of the marriage itself.

It’s been eighteen years since then.

Seungsoo, in spite of his initial reservations towards his arranged marriage, is now happily living with his wife and children. Another child is on the way, and Kyungsoo smiles (while laughing on the inside) each time his brother visits his sleeping quarters and starts gushing to him about the beauty that is his unborn child. And the child _is_ and will be a beauty. The births of Kyungsoo's nieces, seven and four years ago respectively, brought much fanfare, influence, and relief to the Do family. For each birth only served to strengthen the bond between the families of the children's parents, signifying a, hopefully, long-lasting relationship between the households. This was the goal of Kyungsoo's grandfather when he had arranged for Seungsoo's marriage: an inseverable bond with another family in another village to secure his family's influence and safety.

That, too, is the goal of Kyungsoo’s engagement with the child of another equally wealthy and influential family in another neighbouring village.

Like his brother, Kyungsoo, too, in spite of his _strong_ initial reservations towards his engagement, is now able to wholly accept his grandfather’s idea (although he more often than not grumbles about the two things to Yixing behind his grandfather’s back). He’s learnt of his family’s difficulties, of his grandfather’s reluctance to have to do this to his beloved grandsons, of how his widowed mother has suffered under the hushed whispers and opinionated gazes of others.

Of how these are the only ways to ensure the safety of his family for future generations to come.

But Kyungsoo can only hope, can only pray for it to work in favour of his family. And he _genuinely_ does wish that it will. He hopes that the family would like him, that the person he's engaged to would, hopefully, come to love him. Because it's only with his in-laws' love and support can Kyungsoo contribute to his family who has, against all the odds, done their best to provide for him, feed him, educate him, and love him with all their broken, but now mended, hearts.

It’s time to give back. It’s time for Kyungsoo to protect his family now.

 

\---

 

“Young M–”

“What did I say about addressing me while we’re here?”

“Y– I mean, _Kyungsoo_ , please, slow down.”

“That’s better, and, no, I will _not_ slow down, Yixing,” says Kyungsoo as he halts in his track and turns back, the hem of his _durumagi_ swishing dangerously around his ankles. The sudden turn-back almost causes him to slip and fall; well, he probably should have heeded Yixing's advice and practised walking in these _hwa_ more. “I’ve been waiting for this day for almost eighteen years.” Then, an afterthought. “And a week.”

Yixing gives Kyungsoo a deadpan expression. “I get that you’re excited but, still, you should retain some form of, I don’t know, _grace_.” And Yixing’s hands gesture vaguely. Kyungsoo’s brows rise. Pursing his lips, Yixing quickly snaps his hands back to his sides. “ _You_ are a _yangban_ ’s son, and you have not sat through all those years of etiquette classes for nothing.” Then, an afterthought. “And also, _I_ have not sacrificed all those hours of sleep to accompany you while you practice the etiquette for you to behave like– like _this_!”

“You just gestured to all of me.”

“E-Exactly! Stop behaving like you’re not you!”

Kyungsoo shoots Yixing back with a deadpan expression of his own. “Xing, for every second that I’m _here_ , I’m not the youngest son of the Do family. Instead, I am a _servant_.” The expression on his face dissolves and a smile replaces it. Kyungsoo takes a step towards Yixing and swings an arm across his shoulders. “And, now that I’m a servant, we, technically speaking, are of the same status! How exciting!”

Yixing’s face instantly pales. “How can you say that!?” He screeches, throwing his hands into the air. The large movement flings Kyungsoo’s arm off Yixing’s shoulders, and Kyungsoo subconsciously takes a tiny step back (in fear). “I, Zhang Yixing, could never and will _never_ be of the same rank or status as you! Please remember that, Young Master!”

Yixing never cried. Having had Yixing by his side for almost twelve years, this is probably the first time Kyungsoo has seen tears in his servant-slash-best-friend's eyes. And he would know because, for almost six years since Yixing was taken in by the Do family, there have been many, many, _many_ times where Yixing had to bear the consequences of his (literally young) Young Master's incessant troublemaking. Punishments ranged from beatings on the back to whippings on the calves, and to slapping of palms. Despite the excruciating pain dealt to his body, Yixing never once flinched or dodged; he'd just accept the punishment and bore through it without letting slip a single sound. And in the numerous days of the aftermath of those physical punishments, Kyungsoo hasn't once witnessed Yixing tear up or cry, or even mumble a complaint.

As such, the sight of tears welling in Yixing's eyes comes as a huge shock to Kyungsoo. Only a foot away, Kyungsoo sees how Yixing's eyelids are quivering, as though the boy is withstanding the urge to blink. Yixing's lips are trembling, his cheeks slightly blotchy from being riled up. Yixing looks so vulnerable, so weak, and it instantly reminds Kyungsoo of the first time he laid eyes on Yixing all those years ago.

Kyungsoo would never forget that night. It was pouring, with big, fat raindrops relentlessly pounding on the umbrella he shared with his mother and held above him by a servant. The sounds of the pouring rain muffled much of the mother and son's words to each other, and it hadn't taken long for their conversation to die down. After that, Kyungsoo slipped into a daze, his eyes seeing yet unseeing, and he relied on his mother as he walked, having curled a hand around the crook of her elbow. Kyungsoo couldn't really recall what he was thinking back then, but his mother's shriek, and loss of warmth from next to him snapped Kyungsoo out of his daze to see her running out from under the umbrella to a figure on the street. Kyungsoo immediately stopped walking, and he stood in that spot for a moment, squinting a little to make out his mother's actions of pulling the figure into her arms. In the next second, Kyungsoo was out in the rain and next to his mother. His eyes struggled to open themselves, eyelids staggering under the weight of the raindrops, but Kyungsoo could somewhat see the person in his mother's arms. It was a boy.

It has been twelve years since then. Although a servant, Yixing grew up alongside Kyungsoo, whom he genuinely cares for and wholeheartedly serves as repayment for saving his life that night. Not much is known about Yixing, except for the fact that the boy is most definitely not a citizen of _Joseon_ , but of the neighbouring _Jungguk_. Yixing himself couldn't remember much of how he came to be in this country, only recalled having ran, and ran, and ran. Kyungsoo has his suspicions but didn't dwell on it for long because there wasn't a point in finding out someone's past when only his future matters.

"I do remember," replies Kyungsoo as he reaches up to Yixing's face, gently sliding the tip of his index under one of Yixing's eye. Tear droplets collect on his nail, and Kyungsoo carelessly wipes it on his _durumagi_ , not in the least caring that _he_ will have to wash it. He does the same for Yixing’s other eye before he slips both hands into Yixing’s. “But I also remember that you’re my best friend, too.”

“Young Master…”

Kyungsoo smiles. He swings their joined hands a little, grips Yixing’s hands a little tighter than before. “I know, I understand. But I hope that one day _you_ , Yixing, will come to realise that while you've always been my servant in name, your actual status is that of a friend—Do Kyungsoo's _best_ friend. And if you don’t believe me, you can ask _eomanim_.”

At the mention of Kyungsoo's mother, Yixing's eyes brighten, and Kyungsoo knows that the battle has been won. Using Yixing's utmost trust and affection for his benefactor might seem like a cheap move, but if it gets Yixing to cheer up and believe him, Kyungsoo will do it. Besides, it _is_ true—the Do family have always treated Yixing like he’s a son while the servants all recognise him to be their youngest master’s friend; it’s _Yixing_ who keeps doubting Kyungsoo’s words.

Pursing his lips, Yixing begins to mumble, “I… believe her… and you, Youn–”

Kyungsoo clears his throat, shoots Yixing a knowing look.

“–Kyungsoo,” Yixing corrects himself. “I believe you, too, Kyungsoo.” Then, he smiles, a dimple appearing on his right cheek.

Kyungsoo playfully prods it, earning himself a light smack on the offending arm and a mock glare from his best friend. He laughs anyway, and swings the same arm across Yixing’s shoulders, pulling the boy closer to him. “Good to hear that. And now, off we go!”

_To meet the person whom I’ve only heard about but have never seen._

 

\---

 

The sleeping quarters of the Park family's only son is in the building that's the furthest away from the servants' quarters. In fact, it's the furthest away from anywhere. By the time both Kyungsoo and Yixing make it to the door that indicates the compound of Young Master Park, they're wheezing and panting. Thank goodness it's the season between winter and spring; the cool weather prevents perspiration from forming. Kyungsoo doesn't want to imagine how he's going to have to wash sweat out from his _durumagi_ on his own.

After checking the _hanja_ carved on a smooth wooden plaque above the door to be that of Young Master Park’s full name (because one can never be too careful in a foreign place), Kyungsoo gently pushes the door open and flinches at the loud creaking of its hinges. “We should oil them,” says Kyungsoo, a finger pointing at the door as Yixing steps through after him. Yixing nods, and he carefully shuts the door, with both boys flinching when the loud creaking sounds fill the silence again.

Kyungsoo and Yixing quietly make their way towards the largest building on the compound, after Yixing thoughtfully surmises that the smaller building, built a short distance away, could be where Young Master Park’s servants reside in instead of their young master himself. Kyungsoo briefly wonders how he’d survive without Yixing’s brains, but pushes that old thought to the back of his head when a hand slips into his and gently pulls him forward. Yixing leads Kyungsoo onto one of the many paths that seem to lead deep into the compound, and hopefully to Young Master Park’s sleeping quarters. Along the way, Kyungsoo silently takes in and marvels at the beauty of his _yakhonja_ ’s home. Much like his own compound, which Kyungsoo shares with Yixing, Young Master Park’s compound is filled with fauna.

“His _baekhab_ are so beautiful," says Yixing, a dimple appearing as a small smile spreads across his face. "I wonder who grew this. I could use some advice since I could never get my _baekhab_ to grow this prettily.”

Next to him, Kyungsoo just scoffs. “Probably one of the Parks’ gardeners. Did you think Young Master Park grew this himself?” Edging his face close to a _baekhab_ , Kyungsoo squints as he inspects the red orange red of the blooming flower. Despite feeling a tad jealous about how his _yakhonja_ ’s _baekhab_ can grow so well, a content smile still forms on Kyungsoo’s face as he admires the plant. “But it is beautiful. Xing, you should really go get some advice from the person who grew these. My _baekhab_ back home could definitely use some magic.”

Yixing rolls his eyes and walks off without a word. If it was any other person receiving Yixing’s supposed “silent treatment”, they might be offended. Kyungsoo, however, having had Yixing by his side for twelve years, perfectly understands that Yixing isn’t angry at all. He’s just a little annoyed (as he always is with Kyungsoo); it’s not something Kyungsoo can’t fix. And so, Kyungsoo just bounds right up to Yixing and casually slips his hand into the one Yixing has (pointedly) placed behind his back. The irritation that defines Yixing’s face gradually fades away, with resignation and amusement replacing it as Kyungsoo sends a bright smile his way.

Hand in hand, they continue to walk. There are many other varieties of _baekhab_ , as well as _gukhwa_ and _nancho_ , that Kyungsoo spots growing within the compound. He’s about to step towards a patch of blooming _nancho_ when he finds himself being pulled backwards. Kyungsoo stumbles a little before turning around to frown at Yixing, mouth open and ready to chide his friend when his eyes subconsciously flit upwards. The words that Kyungsoo wants to say never make it out of his lips. Instead, an incredulous gasp slips past.

“Is that…”

“Yes,” Yixing breathes, the incredulity in his tone momentarily catching Kyungsoo’s attention and when his eyes dart to Yixing’s face, Kyungsoo is certain that his friend’s expression is a mirror of his own. Yixing’s eyes are so bright, the early morning sun’s rays cast on his face lighting up the unbridled awe so apparent in them. The wide smile that played itself across Yixing’s lips, as well as the tint of pink that adorns Yixing’s cheeks, displays all of the boy’s delight and joy in discovering a plant that both of them have only seen in books and paintings, having not have had the fortune to see one in person prior to this encounter.

“It’s a _maehwa namu_.”

There used to be a lone tree that stood right smack in the middle of the Do family’s front yard. While it stood all alone, it was a tree that was highly revered as its species was one of _Joseon_ 's Four Gentlemen—a representative group of four plants that were associated with the qualities of a respectable scholar—and was a preferred subject for the country's art and craft. The tree was planted in the year Kyungsoo's father passed his _gwageo_ , a reward from Kyungsoo’s grandfather to reward his son for maintaining the Do family’s status as _yangban_. The tree, however, was removed in the year Kyungsoo was born, shortly after his father was murdered and caused the Do family to fall into disarray. Despite extreme reluctance, the prized tree had to be sold to support the failing family.

That tree, Kyungsoo’s father’s tree, was a _maehwa namu_.

Kyungsoo has never seen it, his father’s tree, but his grandfather would often tell him of how his father, whenever he returned from _Hanyang_ , would spend hours sitting under it, head tilted upwards while his eyes just stared at the branches and flowers above. He would request not to be disturbed until it was time for meals, or should someone require his presence. The elderly man's descriptions of his son's adventures with the tree told Kyungsoo just how much his father had adored his _maehwa namu_ , while paintings of that tree done by his mother showed how beautiful the tree had been.

It’s a pity Kyungsoo couldn’t see it.

The _maehwa namu_ before him most definitely isn’t his father’s, but there is a sense, a feeling of relief that washes over Kyungsoo the moment he laid his eyes on it. The relief calms the awe and delight that appeared immediately after discovering the tree, putting Kyungsoo into an ease that he hasn’t felt before. Following the pull of Yixing’s hand, Kyungsoo allows himself to be led to the tree, where Yixing gently removes his hand from Kyungsoo’s and carefully manhandles his friend’s arms to wrap around the tree’s trunk. The ease within Kyungsoo heightens, and it feels as though someone has their arms circled around him, as though the tree is hugging him back. It feels as though–

“Does it feel like Master Do is with us, Kyungsoo?”

 _Ever the perceptive one, Yixing_ , thinks Kyungsoo as he turns his head to look at his best friend. He’s nodding before he even knows it, and is rewarded with one of Yixing’s bright smiles. The appearance of Yixing’s dimple makes Kyungsoo want to prod it (which he always does), but he doesn’t because he wants to hug this pretty tree more. It’s going to be an action that Kyungsoo knows he’ll be doing often for as long as he remains in the Park family home.

Alas, Kyungsoo only has that short of time with the _maehwa namu_ , for Yixing is soon dragging him away and back onto the path that leads to their initial destination. Realising that they must have spent quite some time admiring the beauty of Young Master Park's compound, both Kyungsoo and Yixing up their speed of walking (or it's just Yixing walking ahead and pulling Kyungsoo along by his hand). After crossing a tiny bridge that connects the ground where the buildings are located with the rest of the garden, they finally arrive at the entrance of Young Master Park's sleeping quarters. And what awaits them at the front of the doors is a bizarre sight.

To say that both Kyungsoo and Yixing are surprised is an understatement. To say that they're shocked isn't exactly true as well, because, for Kyungsoo, he feels bewildered, floored, dumbfounded, throw out more synonyms of surprise. Yixing, on the other hand, actually looks rather amused.

For there are two young men sprawled on the ground, right in front of the doors of Young Master Park’s quarters.

Yixing squats down next to the one that’s closer to him, head tilting here and there as his eyes rove all over the unconscious young man. “His _durumagi_ looks just like ours,” he says, tone thoughtful, and Yixing angles his head to look at the other unconscious young man. “His, too. I think they’re servants, probably Young Master Park’s servants since they’re… here.”

Not one to approach strangers, much less unconscious ones, Kyungsoo remains a couple of feet away. His eyes trail up the bodies of the young men, whose bodies seem to be melded as one seeing how their limbs are entangled with each other’s, taking in their outfits that are, indeed, identical to his own and Yixing’s; the only difference would be that they’re not wearing their _hwa_ , with Kyungsoo scrunching up his face in distaste when he spots them haphazardly ‘abandoned’ a short distance away. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to know what happened to these two… whoever they are.

“Let’s go, Xing,” says Kyungsoo, a little exasperation seeping into him as he sees his best friend retrieving the young men’s _hwa_ and setting them down neatly next to their bare feet. The exasperation only grows stronger when Yixing even pushes the young men's hair behind their ears, exposing their sleeping faces to the light of the morning sun. Kyungsoo pretends not to have seen the dilation of his best friend's eyes, and how the corners of his lips ever so _slightly_ twitch.

The doors to Young Master Park’s sleeping quarters aren’t locked, and Kyungsoo easily pushes them open. He steps through, leaving Yixing to close them, and after removing his _hwa_ at the porch, Kyungsoo unhesitantly, but quietly, walks to the bed structure at the opposite end of the large, spacious room. Each step of his socks on the polished wooden floor paints the wood with Kyungsoo’s excitement because after almost eighteen years, _I’m finally going to know how he looks like_. As his excitement grows, Kyungsoo’s steps quicken.

Suddenly, he stops.

It is as though the movement of his feet is connected to his emotions, for the moment Kyungsoo stops walking, the excitement that he has been feeling vanishes. Kyungsoo grows nervous, anxiousness creeping up on him for a reason he doesn’t know. His hands have clenched themselves at his sides, fingers curling into soft fabric tightly, as his head drops and his eyes fix themselves on the white of his socks. Kyungsoo doesn’t know why he’s feeling this way, why he’s suddenly feeling anxious, and _why_ he’s experiencing this when he’s only a dozen feet away from the _yakhonja_ he’s been hearing of and wanting to meet for years.

Just when Kyungsoo is about to fall to the floor, his legs suddenly feeling weak, with one of his hands having unclenched itself to clutch at the spot where his pounding heart is, an ever-familiar voice softly calls out from behind him.

“Go.”

Kyungsoo turns around. Yixing is standing on the porch, and his _hwa_ are still on his feet. It seems that he has no intention of following after Kyungsoo for this part of the journey.

“What are you waiting for? Haven’t you been waiting long enough? Seventeen years, you’ve been waiting, but now that you’re this close to him, you’re stopping?”

“Xing, I–”

“Go. Ignore what you’re feeling right now, be it excitement or anxiousness. Just, go. Go, Soo. Go to him.”

It is as though Yixing's words contain the antidote to Kyungsoo's inexplicable feeling of anxiousness, for in the next moment, Kyungsoo is turning and running the remaining distance to the bed. The speed of his run almost causes Kyungsoo to fall onto the large ball of a blanket on the elevated bed. Thankfully, he doesn't, and Kyungsoo straightens himself, dusts his _durumagi_ , and fiddles with his hair. He whirls back to look at Yixing, and Yixing shoots him a thumbs-up and a smile, and a silent _you can do it!_

Fueled by his best friend's encouragement, Kyungsoo inhales and exhales. He can do this. He _must_ do this. Looking down at the large clump in front of him, Kyungsoo reaches for the hem, hands extending towards the end of the bed where the top of a mess of hair can be seen. His fingers find the edge of the blanket, and Kyungsoo slowly, gently, carefully pulls it down to reveal a sleeping face.

The face of Kyungsoo’s _yakhonja_.

Kyungsoo can feel that his fingers are trembling, but he doesn’t let go of the blanket. Instead, he releases a shaky hand to reach for the young man’s face, fingers brushing several strands of hair away from closed eyes. The tip of Kyungsoo’s index accidentally grazes skin, and Kyungsoo pulls back immediately when the face scrunches up. Kyungsoo is no longer breathing, and no breath escapes even after the young man moves, his body turning away from Kyungsoo. The young man did not wake.

Standing a foot away, Kyungsoo has both hands on his chest, fingers clutching onto his _durumagi_ for dear life. Beneath his palms, Kyungsoo’s heart pounds as he looks down, his large eyes having grown even larger, at the sleeping figure before him. The tip of the index that made contact with his _yakhonja_ ’s face tingles, occasionally sending weak bouts of a something that Kyungsoo does not comprehend throughout his body. It’s not a bad feeling, but it’s the first time Kyungsoo has felt something like this, and he doesn’t know how to explain it. He does, however, welcome it.

Although he has only seen his _yakhonja_ 's face for the first time and for a rather short amount of time, Kyungsoo thinks he has already committed it to memory and would be able to recall it anytime and anywhere. And as he gazes at the back of the young man's head, a fond smile begins to spread across Kyungsoo's dazed face. He's fallen.

Kyungsoo has fallen in love at first sight with his _yakhonja_ , Park Chanyeol.

 

\---

 

Kyungsoo’s love for his _yakhonja_ grows when he sees him for the second time.

With Young Master Park's breakfast on a cloth-covered tray cradled in an arm, Kyungsoo is about to push open the doors to his young master's quarters with his free hand when the doors suddenly swing inwards on their own. A surprised squeak reflexively slips past Kyungsoo's lips as he stumbles backwards. His eyes immediately dart to the tray, and they blow wide in horror as the cloth begins to move and the dishes on the tray seem to shift.

_Oh no._

Just then, the cloth and dishes stop moving. The tray abruptly rights itself and strength ripples from it, pulling Kyungsoo’s body slightly forward. Something pushes Kyungsoo from behind as well, and Kyungsoo belatedly realises that his waist is circled with warmth. It’s foreign, this warmth, yet, Kyungsoo, as someone who doesn’t do well with sudden changes, surprisingly, does not feel uncomfortable in its embrace.

“Are you alright?”

Kyungsoo freezes. Someone just spoke to him.

“Are you... alright?”

The deep, rough voice comes from above him again. It’s a voice that Kyungsoo hasn’t heard before. And, once again, surprisingly, Kyungsoo doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Warmth peppers the crown of his head. Kyungsoo slowly lifts his head, eyes staying on the tray until they can no longer stay, and Kyungsoo gingerly moves them upwards. The face of Kyungsoo’s _yakhonja_ greets him.

Surprise washes over Kyungsoo instantly, its heat immediately surging through his body and spreading its fiery warmth to all places; Kyungsoo’s face especially, where his cheeks feel like they’re on fire. Uncertain if it’s due to the sudden surprise, Kyungsoo’s senses begin to shut down. Silence fills his ears while vignettes cloud his vision, causing his eyes to flit frantically all over in search of a focal point to focus on. In hindsight, Kyungsoo regrets his choice, because of all places to rest his eyes on, he picks his _yakhonja_ ’s lips.

They’re moving. The different ways the young man’s lips are moving, parting and closing, and supposedly forming words is the reason why Kyungsoo chose to focus his wandering eyes on them. The fact that there is something in movement in his silent and darkening world puts Kyungsoo at ease, assuring him that he’s alive and well. There’s that and also the comforting warmth around his waist.

Kyungsoo stays that way for an unknown amount of time, content in watching his own personal silent movie starring his _yakhonja_ ’s moving lips. The movie allows Kyungsoo to observe how pink and full those lips are.

His personal silent movie ends when its lead role suddenly moves offscreen. Kyungsoo immediately panics, and, somehow, the panic reboots his senses—the vignettes dissipate, and Kyungsoo's vision expands, while a single sound fills his ears.

Kyungsoo doesn’t catch that sound, and he dumbly blurts out a _huh_.

The chuckle that Kyungsoo hears in the next moment could very well be the most beautiful sound that he has ever heard.

The voice that Kyungsoo hears, and subsequently recognises (and commits to eternal memory), following that beautiful chuckle could very well be the most attractive voice that he has ever heard.

“I’m sorry,” the voice says. “I didn’t mean to scare you, nor cause you to spill the breakfast. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting someone to be outside at this time.”

The expansion of Kyungsoo’s vision is complete, and Kyungsoo is once again looking at the face of his _yakhonja_. The _smiling_ face of his _yakhonja_. Kyungsoo's mouth suddenly feels dry, and his cheeks feel like they're truly on fire.

“Is this tray of breakfast for me, though?”

Realising that he’s being asked a question, Kyungsoo mentally slaps himself and nods. “Y-Yes.” Then, a quick afterthought. “Yes, Young Master.”

The brows of his _yakhonja_ furrow slightly. “Young Master, huh.” The furrow eases up, and Kyungsoo watches in a tad bit of amazement at how the young man’s eyes suddenly light up. “You must be one of the two new servants that _eomanim_ has assigned to me! You are, right?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know how he does it, but despite being enraptured by the brightness of his _yakhonja_ ’s eyes, he nods in agreement.

“Brilliant! Would you, perhaps, know where the other new servant is? I would like to meet them, too, since I’ve met you and, boy, am I glad to see you because, frankly, I’ve been rather impatient and it’s been weeks since _eomanim_ first spoke to me about you and the other new addition to our household.”

The smile on Kyungsoo’s _yakhonja_ 's face widens, and the result, in Kyungsoo's eyes, is the most gorgeous smile Kyungsoo has ever seen. It's bright, so bright, that Kyungsoo momentarily thinks of his _yakhonja_ as the sun, its rays warm on the skin and blinding to the eyes. Kyungsoo loves the sun.

And Kyungsoo loves his _yakhonja_.

Basking in the comfortable heat of his _yakhonja_ ’s handsome smile, Kyungsoo doesn’t realise that his waist is no longer circled with warmth and the tray is no longer in his hands until he feels his legs moving, and he snaps out of his self-induced daze to find himself being pulled into Young Master Park’s quarters.

Kyungsoo is soon seated on a wooden stool. Beside him, his _yakhonja_ settles, gently setting the cloth-covered tray down onto the dining table. The wood of the tray _clacks_ against the wood of the table.

"Thank you for bringing me my breakfast," Young Master Park says as he removes the cloth from the tray and folds it, before putting it under the rice bowl. Kyungsoo is relieved to see wisps of steam wafting up from the porridge and the steamed egg, indicating that those dishes are still warm. Young Master Park's compound is rather far from the kitchens, and as Kyungsoo was afraid of spilling the contents of the tray, he had walked a tad too slowly which in turn must have taken up quite some time. Kyungsoo mentally makes a note to practice walking to and fro.

Young Master Park picks up the spoon and softly inserts it into the steamed egg. More steam emerges from within the delicacy as he scoops a little of it. The spoon makes its way to Young Master Park’s mouth, and a small smile forms on the young man’s face when it enters. The spoon leaves soon after, returning to the egg for seconds.

Kyungsoo, totally not realising that he’s been staring at how his young master has been eating, gasps loudly when Young Master Park suddenly turns to him. Kyungsoo’s hands immediately fly up to his opened mouth. “I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says, not realising that his words are muffled in his haste to apologise. “I– I deeply apologise for my mistake, Young Master.” And Kyungsoo quickly gets off his seat, hands clasped in front, head bowed as low his neck allows it to. He belatedly (and horrifically) discovers that he still has his _hwa_ on.

“What’s your name?”

“K–”

A pause, for Kyungsoo suddenly remembers what Yixing has told him about not using his real name in case his _yakhonja_ realises.

“S-Soo. My name is Soo.”

A hum. “Okay, _Soo_ , I need you to relax. Also, could you look up, please?”

Kyungsoo obeys easily, because what is he to do when he’s already being spoken to so politely by a person whose status is clearly higher than his (technically, that’s false but in this context, it holds true), and when this person most definitely doesn’t need to speak so courteously to his servants. Young Master Park is nice. The space in Kyungsoo’s heart for his _yakhonja_ expands a little.

"Firstly, you didn't make a mistake, Soo. So you don't have to be afraid of repercussions." Young Master Park smiles. "Secondly, you don't have to bring breakfast to me every morning, because I'm used to eating with everyone at the kitchens. The same goes for lunch and dinner—practically every meal. So promise me that you would take note of this."

Kyungsoo isn’t looking at his _yakhonja_ 's face, per se. He doesn't dare to, for fear of his eyes betraying his emotions and feelings. Instead, Kyungsoo is alternating his gaze between his young master's neck and face. At Young Master Park's words, however, Kyungsoo does nod in acknowledgement and agreement. He makes a mental note to inform Yixing as well (while briefly wondering if his best friend is eating his breakfast well at the kitchens right now).

"Thirdly, I would like to request a simple favour that I hope both you and the other new addition would agree to and follow after that."

“A-Anything for you, Young Master!”

A tilt of a head. “Please, don’t call me ‘Young Master’ or ‘Young Master Park’. Instead, call me by my name ‘Chanyeol’.”

The request hits Kyungsoo like a horse-pulled carriage, the figurative impact causing him to startle and involuntarily blurt out yet another (dumb) _huh_. His response must have been funny, for Young Master Park, or—as he would rather be known—Chanyeol is laughing. Kyungsoo watches in confusion (and awe) at how his young master is clapping his hands and slapping the table, with an absolutely blinding smile on his face. His eyes are scrunched up, slight indents appearing on his cheeks, and Kyungsoo almost squeals when he sees something that he has only seen on Yixing.

On the left side of his _yakhonja_ ’s face, there is a dimple.

Kyungsoo barely prevents himself from reaching out, index finger itching to prod it, as he has always done with Yixing’s very own on the right side of his face. Instead, Kyungsoo distracts himself by shifting his eyes away. Only to make the mistake of landing them on Chanyeol’s ears.

If there isn’t a space in Kyungsoo’s heart for adorable-looking ears, now there is, because _oh my goodness those are so adorable!_ Taking in Chanyeol’s reddening ears, Kyungsoo coos to himself. While his index fingers are no longer itching and wanting to prod Chanyeol’s dimple, his thumbs have begun to. To want to reach out and trace the lines of Chanyeol’s adorable-looking ears, to fondle the lobes, and to gently rub at their seemingly sharp tips.

And Kyungsoo might have, or would have, done so if not for Chanyeol who had suddenly stopped laughing and has one hand extended into the space between him and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo stares at the hand (and wills himself to not gawk at how _large_ it is, and to not think about how small his own hand would be in it).

“I apologise for bursting out into laughter. I did not mean to laugh at you, nor mean any ill will. I do, however, mean my words, in that you should call me by my name. Now, then, please, shake on it–”—Chanyeol lifts his hand a little—“–and give it a try, Soo.”

Kyungsoo is certain that Youn– _Chanyeol_ knows how nervous he is through his trembling hand as they shake on it. Kyungsoo is also certain that Chanyeol knows how utterly nerve-wrecked he feels through his shaky voice as he softly calls out the name of his _yakhonja_ for the first time.

“C-Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo, however, isn’t certain that Chanyeol knows how delighted he is to be standing in front of him, to be in the same space as he is, to be _looked at_ by him. He’s waited for almost eighteen years to be here, to be right by his _yakhonja_ ’s side. Kyungsoo isn’t certain if he belongs here, if his _yakhonja_ wants him here, but there’s something about himself that Kyungsoo is absolutely certain of.

And that is how much Kyungsoo wishes he could call Chanyeol ‘ _seobang_ ’ right now.

 

\---

 

Life in the Parks’ household isn’t all that different from life back in the Dos’.

Apart from the demotion in status (which no one knows), and the decrease in the quality of his _durumagi_ (which doesn’t bother Kyungsoo much now; it was rather itchy and uncomfortable at first), as well as changes in daily routine (Kyungsoo is glad that Yixing made him do chores before coming here), nothing else differs much in Young Master Do’s life.

Kyungsoo still sleeps on a futon, in which every night he joins his with Yixing’s—since they share the same room in the servants’ quarters of Young Master Park’s compound—despite protests from his best friend ( _“We’re young adults! We shouldn’t be sharing beds.”_ ). Although he doesn't like it one bit, and thinks that it's a shallow move, Kyungsoo pits his status against Yixing's to effectively shut Yixing up, only to regret when Yixing's expression darkens and Kyungsoo proceeds to placate his sulky (yet adorable) best friend. (And, of course, Yixing is never one to stay angry for long.)

Also, Kyungsoo still has flora to admire, in which he’d, more often than not, take a little more time when walking on the path that winds through the garden. Though, if Kyungsoo honestly admits, it isn’t the flora that causes him to do that. Sure, the _nancho_ , _gukhwa_ , and _baekhab_ are all very pretty, but those are nothing compared to the lone beauty that stands a wayward away from the rest of the fauna.

Whenever he can, Kyungsoo would spend time with the _maehwa namu_ in Chanyeol's garden. He does that not because the tree is located in a convenient location, or that it's also coincidentally a place where he often sees Chanyeol at (it kind of is because Kyungsoo has been wanting to strike up a conversation with his _yakhonja_ ). Kyungsoo does that because, after walking the entirety of the Parks’ compound and asking others, he discovered that there’s only one such tree. There’s only one _maehwa namu_ , and it’s the one in Chanyeol’s garden. It’s strange, for Kyungsoo has never once realised that this species is _this_ rare. It’s an exquisite plant, that much he knows, but for only one of it to be present in the Parks’ household, in spite of their influence and wealth in the village and neighbouring ones, it finally dawns on Kyungsoo the degree of the rarity of a _maehwa namu_. It makes him wonder just _how_ his grandfather had acquired one for his son all those years ago.

Yet, Kyungsoo’s time with the one and only _maehwa namu_ in the Parks' home is often decided by the duties he has to undertake for the day. Now that Young Master Do has (gone undercover and) become a servant in the Parks' household, he is to behave like one. Since he's been (pointedly) assigned to Young Master Park, Kyungsoo's duties are that of those concerning the young master. Responsibilities include the washing of Young Master Park's clothes, the cleaning of Young Master Park's sleeping quarters, the tending to of Young Master Park's garden, and so on.

Duties that our (adorable) Young Master Do has never done before.

Thankfully, Yixing had the foresight of deciding to train Kyungsoo before they were sent to the Parks’. His training plan had Young Master Do waking up at the ungodly hour of _myo_ , and with extreme sleepiness still clouding his consciousness, Kyungsoo would let himself be dragged by Yixing to embark on the Duty of the Day. From starting a fire to cook meals, to carrying buckets of water to tend to the Dos’ gardens, as well as washing of his family’s clothes. Kyungsoo was trained in (possibly) all of the duties done by servants.

Yixing's extensive training is the reason why Young Master Do is able to handle the duties assigned to him. He's now able to wake up at _myo shi_ automatically, and, sometimes, when Kyungsoo finds Yixing still snoring beside him, he gets a little smug at himself. (Sometimes, when he feels _particularly_ mischievous, he'd pinch Yixing’s nose shut and watch as the boy gradually wakes while struggling to breathe. It's endearingly hilarious.)

Kyungsoo is also able to carry heavy buckets of water now. To tend to Chanyeol’s garden, he no longer struggles to heft large, full buckets of water from wherever the water source may be. Though, the journey isn't without grunts and groans of _ugh why is this so heavy why did I want to come here in the first place?_

Another duty that he's been trained in is washing clothes. And it's really weird, but Kyungsoo somehow enjoys washing them. Perhaps it's got to do with the chance to get out of the household—both the Dos and Parks—and go to the stream behind the home compounds. While he's always been able to freely leave his home, now that Kyungsoo is a servant with a master to answer to, he's unable to do that any longer. As such, Kyungsoo cherishes each time he gets assigned to the washing duty, happily carrying a large basket of Young Master Park's soiled clothes to the washing point. Kyungsoo doesn't want to admit it but _why do the Parks have such a gorgeous behind-the-home scenery?_ (And although Kyungsoo keeps his eyes peeled for any sign of another _maehwa namu_ , he doesn't find one.)

(Kyungsoo also tries to not hyperventilate over the fact that he’s washing his _yakhonja_ ’s… undergarments.

And, no, he does _not_ swoon when he realises just how large Chanyeol’s _durumagi_ is as compared to his own, and how it simply engulfs his entire body when he puts it on. Or how it smells pleasantly of _maehwa_ and earth—a scent Kyungsoo gradually recognises as uniquely Chanyeol’s. [ _No_ , he does not sniff Chanyeol whenever he’s near him either.])

Although Kyungsoo is a servant and has to care for his master constantly, there's one thing that he doesn't have to worry his (pretty) head about, and that is Young Master Park's meals. Kyungsoo's not part of the kitchen crew, and thus would not need to start fires and cook the family's meals. Even though most servants are supposed to bring trays of food to their masters, the servants of the Park family do not have to.

Having gone undercover as a servant of the Parks for almost a month, Kyungsoo discovers that the Parks are a rather… strange family. Kyungsoo means no harm, though, when he says it like that; he just finds them a little _different_ from his own and needed some time to accustom himself to how they do things around the household. The difference between the two families is the fact that the Parks have meals with their servants. Kyungsoo discovered this on his very first day, when, during dinner time, Mistress Park—Chanyeol's mother—told him and Yixing to follow her to the kitchens and both boys watched, with their mouths gaping open in absolute shock, her casually grab a stool and receive a bowl from one of the servants serving. The mistress of the Park family kindly explained to them—while giggling at the boys' dumbfounded expressions—that everyone in the household, no matter the status or duty, has the same menu for every meal. And, although the number of servants is rather large, Mistress Park insists on everyone abandoning whatever they're doing to eat meals together at the kitchens. That seems to be the reason why there are numerous stacks of wooden stools and benches within the vicinity of the kitchens.

It's different, the culture of the Park family. But the difference doesn't make Kyungsoo uncomfortable; if any, Kyungsoo thinks it's an excellent idea for masters to have meals together with their servants. After getting over the culture shock, Kyungsoo finds that it's very heartwarming to see Mistress Park giggling with her female servants while Master Park (who was away on a trip with his son for a week at the start of Kyungsoo's… stint) converses with those who are near him. Likewise, Young Master Park is at ease around the servants as well, his laughter often booming and resounding from where he would be seated on a bench he shares with others.

Kyungsoo never gathers up sufficient courage to sit near or with Chanyeol, though, despite Yixing’s encouragement. He usually grounds his stool a little wayward away from the crowd, choosing to sit under a tree or near flora. Yixing joins him, always, even though Kyungsoo constantly shoos him away and encourages him to sit with others. But, of course, Loyal Yixing doesn’t.

And that is the situation right now. It’s dinner time, and Kyungsoo has a bowl of today’s menu—steamed rice with fried vegetables and a piece of steamed pork—in his hands. Resting his elbows on his knees, he presses his lips against the warmed bowl, eyes following Yixing as he goes to fetch them spoons. Kyungsoo fixes his eyes at the spot where his friend had disappeared into the kitchens, not willing to move them despite the distraction of a familiar boom of laughter.

Chanyeol, who seems to be all-smiles most of the time, is seated right in front of the kitchens’ entrance, and right in Kyungsoo’s peripheral field of vision. And when Yixing walked past, Kyungsoo had (enviously) watched his _yakhonja_ greet Yixing with a wave of a hand and a dimpled smile. He does not, however, envy how Chanyeol’s servants—the two young men whom they saw sprawled in front of their young master’s quarters that first time—call out to Yixing and _wink_ at him.

The strange but amusing combination of Yixing’s deadpan expression and reddening cheeks is the reason why Kyungsoo has his lips pressed to the bowl. A feeble attempt to hide his knowing smile. Yet, his risen cheeks and crescent eyes betray his urge to laugh at his best friend anyway.

“You’re a horrible best friend, you know that.”

Kyungsoo removes the bowl from his lips. The knowing smile on his face is now on display for Yixing to see. He ignores the resulting scowl on his friend’s face to say, “I know. I try my best.”

Yixing _harrumphs_ , picking up his bowl of dinner, which he's placed on the stool, before sitting down. He shoves one of the two spoons he's procured into the bowl and extends the other into the space between him and Kyungsoo. But before Kyungsoo could pluck it out of his fingers, Yixing raises it and swiftly brings it down onto the crown of Kyungsoo's head.

A _thud_ of wood against a human head and a loud pained cry ring out above the din of everyone’s chatter, effectively silencing all conversations and sounds. Despite still reeling from the shock of Yixing’s sudden attack and his hurting head, Kyungsoo feels eyes on him.

"Are you alright, Soo?" Mistress Park asks, concern written all over her aged, but beautiful, face. She stands, and when Kyungsoo realises that she's about to walk over, he quickly shoots up from his seat. There is a need for him to explain and his mind whirs for a plausible explanation. In his panic, Kyungsoo doesn't even think of the option of looking to the perpetrator (aka Zhang Yixing) for help. He just wings it.

Waving a hand in front of him, Kyungsoo quickly blurts out, "I-I'm alright! Xing and I were just playing around, that's all." A tad of guilt washes over him then, and his expression reflects it. Handing his bowl to Yixing, Kyungsoo clasps his hands and places them on his stomach, before folding his body forward into a bow. He straightens himself a couple of seconds later, an apology slipping past his lips smoothly. "I apologise for disrupting everyone's dinner. Please, resume eating."

Most of the servants look at Kyungsoo for brief moment more, curious and concerned expressions gradually reverting to neutrality and they soon go back to their respective conversations and dinner. Kyungsoo looks to Master Park, bowing his head in apology, and he only looks away when the elder man nods and resumes eating. Kyungsoo looks at Mistress Park next, repeating his action and adding on a resolute nod when the woman mouths _are you sure you’re alright?_ As with Master Park, Kyungsoo only dares to look away after his mistress goes back to her dinner.

Sitting back down on his stool, Kyungsoo is about to sigh in relief when he feels that someone is still looking at him. He immediately freezes. The heat of the gaze that's still on him is unfamiliar, and Kyungsoo hazards a guess. Biting on his lower lip, he glances at Yixing, who just silently hands him back his bowl. Yixing's eyes are knowing, and they are darting in the same direction he's quirking his lips to.

In the direction where Young Master Park is seated.

Nervousness suddenly floods Kyungsoo. He doesn’t realise that his hands are trembling until he feels warmth enveloping them, and looks down to find Yixing stabilising them with his own. A corner of his steamed pork has gone over the edge of the bowl, and Kyungsoo dazedly sees Yixing push it back in with a finger. His hands remove themselves from Kyungsoo’s hands next, and a spoon makes its way into Kyungsoo’s bowl shortly after. Kyungsoo glances at Yixing again; he’s carefully cutting a small piece of the steamed pork with his spoon.

Kyungsoo’s stomach abruptly growls then, distracting him momentarily. Though, after those few seconds, Kyungsoo’s attention goes back to the gaze he _still_ feels on him. His curiosity peaks, and after making sure that his hands are no longer trembling and endangering his dinner, Kyungsoo slowly, gingerly lifts his eyes and darts them in the direction Yixing has pointed him in.

Even though he’s expected to meet with _his_ eyes, Kyungsoo still finds himself gasping softly in surprise. He brings his eyes back down barely a second later, as though it's not right, not proper for him, a servant, to make eye contact with his young master. Kyungsoo attempts to regulate his breathing, tries not to feel so nervous. _Okay, let’s just eat_ , he thinks as he picks up his spoon and scoops up a small bit of rice.

The spoon is about to leave the bowl when Kyungsoo’s curiosity gets the better of him _again_. His hand pauses in its action, and Kyungsoo finds himself lifting his head ever-so-slightly, eyes darting upwards and in the same direction where they’ve last shifted to only minutes ago.

Chanyeol is still looking at him.

Kyungsoo immediately looks away. But he doesn't look back down. Instead, Kyungsoo shifts his eyes to Chanyeol's other servants. He sees how they're talking with each other, occasionally gesturing to Chanyeol, only to pause when they notice how their young master seems to be staring at something...

Their eyes meet with Kyungsoo’s.

This time, Kyungsoo looks back down at his bowl. He forces himself to resist his growing curiosity to look back up at his _yakhonja_ , hand raising the spoon to shove it into his mouth. The rice is still warm, and Kyungsoo uses that excuse to feed himself spoon after spoon of food continuously. Despite _still_ feeling Chanyeol’s eyes on him, Kyungsoo doesn’t dare to look back up again, for fear of losing himself in the depths of his _yakhonja_ 's eyes. He also doesn't wish to see the eyes of those two servants again; the knowing look in their eyes scares him a little. Kyungsoo hasn't had many opportunities to interact with them just yet, and as much as he looks forward to getting to know them more, he's also terrified of them discovering the truth about him and Yixing, and as well as how he feels about the young master they serve together.

It’s only when Kyungsoo no longer feels the now-familiar gaze on him, and when Chanyeol’s laughter resounds in the space once again, does he dare to look up and in the direction of his _yakhonja_. He’s talking to his servants once more, the corners of his lips tugged upwards and into one of his assortment of good-looking smiles (that Kyungsoo dare says he would never get tired of looking at). Kyungsoo doesn’t realise that he’s been staring at Chanyeol until warmth envelopes his hands once again, and he snaps out of an unconsciously self-induced daze to see Yixing pry his empty bowl out of his hands.

He lifts his head to look up at his best friend, mumbling _thanks_ as Yixing grins before walking off in the direction of the kitchens’ entrance with their bowls and spoons in his hands. And when Yixing walks past the group that is seated right in front of the entrance, Kyungsoo once again (enviously) watches their young master greet Yixing with a wave of his hand and a dimpled smile while his two servants call out to him and wink at him.

Kyungsoo wonders then. Wonders when will he be able to gather the courage to initiate an interaction with his _yakhonja_. Wonders when will he be able to muster enough courage to sit near him during meals.

Wonders when will he be a recipient of his ever good-looking smile.

 

\---

 

_“Soo, could you fetch Chanyeol for lunch?”_

Arriving at the door of the compound he’s (affectionately) called home for almost two months, Kyungsoo pushes the door—adeptly, in a particular way that prevents its hinges from creaking because they’ve never gotten round to oiling it (despite reminding themselves). He shuts it in the same way, before stepping onto the path which he could now practically _walk with my eyes closed_. The corners of his lips automatically tug themselves upward at the sight of the _baekhab_ that welcome him, gaze going fond when he ventures deeper into the garden and _nancho_ , _gukhwa_ all pop up to greet him.

As the (frankly, un)official servant tasked to fetch Young Master Park for meals, the position _pointedly_ redirected to Kyungsoo by the ever-so- _kind_ Yixing, Kyungsoo knows where he has to go to find his young master. At this time of the day, when it's almost dinner time, Chanyeol wouldn't be out of his compound. He wouldn't be in the study room in his quarters, nor would he be napping in his bed. Having had to search for Chanyeol the first time he's been tasked to fetch him, Kyungsoo knows this much. And his observations are confirmed the second time Kyungsoo's had to bring his young master again, and again, and again.

Now, Kyungsoo doesn’t even bother proceeding to anywhere else. He just goes _there_.

The path abruptly splits into two, a well-trodden path appearing on its right. Kyungsoo steps off the tile and onto earth, his _hwa_ scuffing up some dirt. With an ease that can only come with practice, he walks down the path humming a little tune. After bushes and bushes of _gukhwa_ and _baekhab_ , Kyungsoo soon arrives at his destination. A broad smile immediately forms on his face.

“Hey there,” breathes Kyungsoo as he looks up at the lone beauty of Chanyeol’s garden. The tree’s _maehwa_ are still blossoming beautifully, its branches prettily decorated with various shades of pink. After allowing himself a couple of seconds to admire the flowers, eyes reflecting the pink of the _maehwa_ and the red orange yellow of the setting sun’s rays, Kyungsoo drags his eyes down to rest them upon the figure that’s lying against the tree. His gaze goes fond instantly.

Seated on the earth, with his back resting against the base of the _maehwa namu_ 's trunk and head lolling to a side, is Chanyeol. His closed eyes and heavy, regulated breathing, as well as his lack of a response to Kyungsoo's (not-really-silent) arrival, tells the servant that his young master is asleep. Kyungsoo hates to wake Chanyeol up when he's sleeping, because he's caught the older man yawning a couple of times throughout the day and because Kyungsoo _knows_ that sometimes Chanyeol doesn’t sleep until the hours of _chuk_ or _in_. (Kyungsoo couldn’t sleep one night and had been sitting outside the servants’ quarters, only to notice how the lights in Chanyeol’s quarters are still lit, a shadow moving past the window.)

Unfortunately, Kyungsoo _has to_ wake his young master up because missing a meal is just as bad as not sleeping enough. Fortunately, he’s had enough chances to force himself to do so and to know just how to wake Chanyeol up as _nicely_ as possible.

The tranquillity of the garden amplifies the rustling of Kyungsoo's _durumagi_ as he squats down in front of his sleeping master, but Kyungsoo isn't all that worried about it; Chanyeol is a heavy sleeper. (And it's been proven that one time Kyungsoo had tripped over a pebble and landed noisily at Chanyeol's feet. Chanyeol didn't even _move_.) He begins to extend a hand forward, wanting to place it on Chanyeol’s shoulder, only to bring it back when a thought suddenly shoots into his head.

_Don’t you want to look at him while he sleeps?_

This isn't the first time Kyungsoo's thought about it. It's a thought that has always appeared in his head each time he has this task to complete, and each time without fail Kyungsoo would ignore it, would shove it to the back of his mind without hesitation because waking his young master takes precedence over anything else. Yet, this time Kyungsoo entertains it. He doesn't know what's happening, doesn't know what's gotten into him but he's _responded_ to that thought. By taking back the hand that was supposed to shake Chanyeol awake gently.

The hand rests atop of the other on Kyungsoo's knees before his chin comes to prop itself on them. Kyungsoo continues to entertain the thought, keeping it in his mind as he looks at Chanyeol. His eyes sweep across his _yakhonja_ 's sleeping visage, taking in the features that form the man's handsome face. Kyungsoo's eyes linger a while longer on Chanyeol's trembling lids and lashes before darting to his ears. The weather is beginning to get warmer, so the tips of Chanyeol's ears no longer go red due to the cold. Kyungsoo still thinks that they're adorable, tips so cutely pointed that they make him want to reach out and rub them between his fingers–

Kyungsoo freezes when he suddenly feels flesh against his thumb and index, snapping out of his daze to find him doing exactly what he’s thought of—his fingers in the midst of rubbing one of Chanyeol’s ears. _Oh my gosh_ , thinks Kyungsoo as he stares horrifically at his hand’s position. _What am I doing?! Did I just touch Chanyeol’s ear!?_

A train of panicked thoughts assaults Kyungsoo, bombarding his mind with what-ifs and causing it to be unable to come up with an appropriate solution as to how he's supposed to proceed from here on out. He still has a hand poised at a side of Chanyeol's face, fingers gently touching an ear. It's an awkward position, and it's only going to get even more awkward should Chanyeol wake up. Kyungsoo needs his mind to stop thinking about useless things. He needs a solution, and he needs it right now.

In the midst of Kyungsoo shoving those panicked thoughts to the back of his head, a dry sob suddenly shatters the silence. The sound startles Kyungsoo, and his hand involuntarily jerks, his fingers pinching Chanyeol’s ear _hard_. Breath hitches in Kyungsoo's throat. Yet, the repercussions that Kyungsoo fears don't come. Instead, he hears another dry sob.

It came from Chanyeol.

Distracted, Kyungsoo pauses in thinking of a solution to focus his attention on his young master. There is a crying expression on Chanyeol’s face, but no tears are spilling from his eyes. Sobs are coming from him though, whimpers starting to include barely-audible words and those sounds are unconsciously inflicting pain on Kyungsoo’s heart. Chanyeol’s head is no longer lolling, having straightened itself and soft scritching sounds inform Kyungsoo of how Chanyeol’s fingers are scrabbling for dirt at his sides.

Chanyeol seems to be dreaming of something. But seeing how he’s sobbing and softly crying out the same words of no please, _don’t do it don’t do that don’t_ over and over again while digging his fingers into the hard earth, whatever Chanyeol is dreaming of definitely isn’t something pleasant. Could it be a nightmare instead of a dream? But what exactly is going on in Chanyeol’s head for him to behaving like _this_ in his sleep?

Kyungsoo is at a loss. He doesn’t know what to do. He hasn’t experienced something like this before. He hasn’t had enough chances—never had a chance actually—to know what to do at a time like this when his young master seems to be in distress. When he seems to be hurting on the inside.

Ignoring the ache in his chest, Kyungsoo urges his mind to work, to quickly think of a solution, of _anything_ that would help in this situation. Panic begins to wash over him, joining those that were already within him to form an even larger bout of panic that overwhelms his mind, rendering it to go into overdrive slowly and Kyungsoo thinks of nothing. Absolutely nothing. Blank. His mind is empty save for the panic that is filling up his head and wreaking havoc within him.

Chanyeol’s actions are not helping. He’s still sobbing, repeating the same words over and over, fingers scrabbling at his sides. His head is turning from side to side, and Kyungsoo notices beads of perspiration forming on his _yakhonja_ 's forehead. Chanyeol is distressed. And Kyungsoo is hurting from having to see him like this.

To see Chanyeol so vulnerable, so helpless.

Just then, Kyungsoo's mind suddenly clears, and he knows what he can do. With the hand that's still poised at the side of Chanyeol's face, Kyungsoo moves it to cup that side of his face. He attempts to rest his thumb on the apple of Chanyeol's cheek, shifting himself closer to Chanyeol to get his other hand to cup the other side of Chanyeol's face, to prevent his head from turning.

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo begins to say. “Chanyeol, it’s okay.” His tone is soft and soothing, as he attempts to calm his young master down. Thumbs are tenderly circling the apples of Chanyeol’s cheeks while palms gently press against the corners of his trembling, parted lips, and strong yet gentle hands successfully stop Chanyeol’s head from turning. Kyungsoo continues to coo, his dulcet, mellow voice travelling the distance between him and Chanyeol to reach his young master’s ears, to caress them with his words–

“Chanyeol, you’ll be okay.”

–laced with worry–

“I’ll always be here for you.”

–and affection.

_Because I’m in love with you._

It’s as though Kyungsoo has spoken (or thought of) the magic word. For Chanyeol suddenly stops. He stops sobbing, stops digging at the earth, stops whimpering those same few words over and over. Chanyeol stops everything, his body going slack and the sudden lack of movement frightens Kyungsoo. The fear only lasts for a few moments as he frantically sweeps his eyes all over his young master, searching for any lingering sign of distress that hasn’t vanished like the others. Thankfully, there seems to be none, and Kyungsoo visibly relaxes, heaves a silent sigh of relief.

Still, he doesn't let his guard down. Kyungsoo keeps his hands on Chanyeol's face, partly because he's afraid that Chanyeol might turn his head again, and partly because he wishes to provide some form of warmth that might put Chanyeol at ease, to help him calm down even though he's not awake. Kyungsoo doesn't wake Chanyeol up, not yet. His young master seems to need some time to himself, to go back to how he was before… _that_ happened; Kyungsoo gives him that time.

He also continues to watch, to observe. And as Kyungsoo’s mind starts to function normally again, the first thing it thinks of, after experiencing what just happened with Chanyeol is _what?_

Just what did Chanyeol dream of for him to be in such agony?

( _And, does he dream of the same thing when he’s sleeping, all alone, in his quarters as well?_

It's a thought Kyungsoo wishes he didn't think of, for pain starts to bloom within his chest, and it hurts. It hurts, a lot.)

 

\---

 

“Ugh, I hate it when we have to travel between villages. It’s such a chore to walk.”

From the corners of his eyes, Kyungsoo spies Yixing, whose lips are pursed, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly, and Kyungsoo suppresses a snigger. He nudges Yixing, earning himself another eye roll that coincides with yet another complaint as the same voice shatters the silence once again.

“Why doesn’t _Young Master Park_ have the foresight to build his servants a large palanquin for them to sit in, as a reward for working their asses off.”

Kyungsoo turns his head slightly in time to see Yixing rolling his eyes again, but this time, his lips are moving in imitation of the servant who just so inappropriately (and loudly, might Kyungsoo add) criticised their young master without a care for repercussions. Kyungsoo would have been impressed by that servant’s brave, albeit careless, display of words but having known Baekhyun for two months, he knows _better_ than to let himself be influenced by someone like… that.

A loud _ugh_ comes from the person walking next to Baekhyun. “I assure you, Baekhyun, that if you keep talking like that, you’ll be the one _carrying_ a palanquin instead of riding in one.”

Muffled laughter abruptly comes from within the lone palanquin in the entourage of servants and guards. Then, the window opens and out pops a head. The sudden appearance of Young Master Park’s head effectively scares (the bejebus out of) everyone near that window, with Baekhyun’s high-pitched scream annihilating Kyungsoo’s (or probably everyone’s) ears. Kyungsoo also finds himself with an armful of Yixing, who's somehow managed to hide his head in the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck, and Kyungsoo feels inexplicably warm. He swiftly snaps his head in the direction of where he thinks the heat came from, only to see the other of Chanyeol’s servant, Sehun, hastily whipping his head away.

It's strange, and Kyungsoo can't really seem to understand why he’s been receiving such… hostile(?) responses from him (and Baekhyun as well), whenever he gets too close to Yixing. He would then think back to all those times of when Yixing is on the (annoyed) receiving end of their calls and winks, and Kyungsoo begins to suspect. But, well, he doesn't allow himself to ~~waste~~ spend too much time pondering about that when he has better things to think about. (His _yakhonja_ instantly comes to mind, and Kyungsoo's smile automatically form on his face.)

Despite having received such a fright, Kyungsoo, while attempting to calm himself down after receiving such a fright, finds himself subconsciously smiling a little when he catches sight of the bright expression on Chanyeol's face. The wide, dimpled grin is absolutely dazzling, and even today, as the summer heat begins to creep up on them, Chanyeol is as bright as the sun hanging above them. Kyungsoo wants to mention again that he loves the sun. ~~And that he loves Chanyeol.~~

“Sehun’s right,” Chanyeol chirps. He rests his arms flat on the window sill after repeatedly failing to prop his chin on a palm due to the palanquin’s movement, his fingers prodding his eyes one time. “If I hear any more complaints from you, Baekhyun, you’ll help to carry the palanquin.”

Seemingly rendered speechless by his master and fellow servant’s attacks, Baekhyun lets out a loud huff and shuts up. He pulls away from his spot next to Sehun, steps slowing and Kyungsoo’s face contorts with slight disgust when he finds Baekhyun walking next to him. He edges himself closer to Yixing, who turns to him with a confused expression before looking past him and understanding immediately floods his face. Kyungsoo feels fingers curling around his forearm, and he's being tugged a little more towards his friend.

In silence Young Master Park's entourage proceeds, with the sounds of the forest occasionally echoing around them. They've been walking on a well-worn dirt path through the forest that lies between the village that the Parks reside in and the village where Young Mistress Park has moved to after she married. Kyungsoo heard from the servants that Chanyeol usually visits his elder sister around this time of the year when the weather is warmer; it's been said that Young Mistress Park is more active in this season than in others. Kyungsoo doesn't really care about that, as bad as he seems to be, but he doesn't have the time nor energy to because the moment Chanyeol announced to all four of his servants that he'd be visiting his sister, Kyungsoo's mind went into overdrive.

Let's just say that he's excited (yet simultaneously nervous) to meet the sister of his _yakhonja_.

The dirt path is supposedly going to widen into a sandy path, if what Sehun has _kindly_ mentioned (to a not-listening Yixing) is true, that would take them to the entrance of the village. Kyungsoo can't wait to see how the village looks like. In all of his almost-eighteen years of life, he's never travelled to other villages. His grandfather hadn't allowed it, for he fears losing another family member to bandits, and even though Seungsoo is married to a lady from another village, as the husband, he did not need to move to his wife's household. So one can imagine how happy Kyungsoo had been when his mother told him that his request to undercover in the Parks' home had been granted because that meant that he would be able to travel to another village for the first time.

(And beyond that reason is another reason that’s even more meaningful to Kyungsoo, for his first visit, his first glimpse of another village is _the_ village where his _yakhonja_ resides in.)

Nestled comfortably into Yixing’s side and holding hands (the intimate gesture hidden from prying eyes in the sleeves of their _durumagi_ ), Kyungsoo lets Yixing guide him as they walk. Baekhyun is still next to Kyungsoo, while Sehun is ahead of them. Chanyeol has gone back into his palanquin, though, he’s left the window open. Kyungsoo’s gaze lingers at the open window for a few moments before he shifts it to Sehun’s back, eyes dropping down to his _hwa_ before trailing up his body. Sehun has a tall stature, a physical characteristic that Kyungsoo has always been envious of. He’s also noticed how the female servants always seem to have their cheeks reddening whenever Sehun is near, and it’s not hard to know exactly why.

Sehun is handsome. It’s a(n obvious) fact that Kyungsoo himself admits, having _almost_ drooled that first time he was formally introduced to the taller of Chanyeol’s primary servants. But Kyungsoo isn’t envious of that. He’s more jealous of how Sehun is able to see eye-to-eye with his young master since his height rivals Chanyeol’s. As someone who’s always been shorter than almost everyone he’s met, Kyungsoo wishes he could do what Sehun can do. How nice would it be to look at Chanyeol without needing to tilt his head up?

It would be, without a doubt, _very_ nice (because his neck wouldn't hurt after that).

Alas, Kyungsoo is stuck with this short stature of his until death. He’s doomed to look eye-to-eye with Yixing (and Baekhyun) instead of with Chanyeol (or Sehun) for life. Not that that’s a bad thing (still, don’t tell Yixing), but Kyungsoo sincerely wishes for himself to be at least tall _er_ than he is now. He’s uncertain of how Chanyeol views the state of equality in a relationship, but Kyungsoo has seen and heard enough to know that most men do not take their shorter spouses (be it female or male) seriously. That is, the shorter person in the relationship loses out to the taller one. And Kyungsoo would _hate_ that. He doesn’t know Chanyeol’s views about this topic—his _yakhonja_ could very well be like him, believing in equality despite the height differences—but it doesn't hurt to desire an equal standing because marriage is for life, and Kyungsoo doesn't want to marry someone who's going to want the shorter _him_ to obey without talking back.

This is a part of the reason why Kyungsoo decided to go undercover at the Park household—to find out if Park Chanyeol is a good person.

(Also, there’s only so much time he can spend looking up at his _yakhonja_ before his neck starts to hurt. And Kyungsoo thinks he feels a phantom ache at his neck whenever he thinks about how he has to look up at Chanyeol for _the rest of his life_ after they get married.)

Kyungsoo also isn’t, and would probably never be, jealous of how close Chanyeol and Sehun, as well as Baekhyun, are. He’s heard from Yixing who heard from the older servants of how both Baekhyun and Sehun came to be the servants of Young Master Park. Their stories are similar to Yixing’s own—both boys were found and taken in by the Parks. Baekhyun was found by Master Park, who was on his way home after a trip to a neighbouring village and had seen this boy unconscious at the side of a dirt path. Sehun, however, wasn’t exactly _found_ ; he was taken into the Park household after he was caught stealing from one of the Parks’ servants in the market. Baekhyun was barely thirteen, and Sehun was eleven when Mistress Park assigned them to serve her son, who was fourteen then. While recollecting, the servants suddenly began to laugh—throwing Yixing off because he was still in tears due to the boys’ backstories—because they remembered all the problems and troubles they got their young master into, and even though Chanyeol was sometimes punished along with them (Master and Mistress Park are not easy parents), it was crystal clear that Young Master Park was happy. And it all happened after meeting the two boys.

( _“Chanyeol wasn’t all happy and smiles, though, throughout his childhood.”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Don’t know. The_ ahjumma _s and_ ahjusshi _s all refuse to tell me what happened but from what I gathered, something probably happened to Chanyeol in one of the years before he met Baekhyun and Sehun. The_ ahjumma _s talked about his early childhood and after the boys came into his life, but they never told me about when Chanyeol’s late childhood. So I suspect something could have happened when he was around nine or ten years old.”_

_“Do you think Baekhyun or Sehun would know? Chanyeol could have told them.”_

_“I don’t know…”_

_“Could you ask them?”_

_“I could– I mean, what!? No! O-Over my dead body, Do Kyungsoo! If you want to know, you ask them yourself!”_ )

After knowing the history of Chanyeol and his two servants, Kyungsoo had been heartened to know that his _yakhonja_ grew up healthily and happily. Also, Kyungsoo can’t help but start to view both Baekhyun and Sehun in a new light. Of course, their antics when it comes to Yixing still madden Kyungsoo, but whenever he sees them with Chanyeol, he would always smile while thinking of how the three of them have been together for almost fifteen years and are most likely best friends much like him and Yixing.

And it's because of this thing which surfaced in his head because he was staring at Sehun, that Kyungsoo bothers to cast a glance at Baekhyun. The whimper is barely audible, but Kyungsoo had somehow managed to catch it, and out of pure _curiosity_ (he is _not_ concerned), he gives some attention to the young man next to him. Baekhyun is walking with his head tilted downwards, arms wrapped around himself, and Kyungsoo thinks he sees a tiny grey cloud floating above his head. Kyungsoo also thinks he hears more whimpers coming from him.

He's not wrong.

A nudge to his side and Yixing's voice follows. "Why is he like that?" Kyungsoo takes one last glance at Baekhyun before shifting his gaze to Yixing. His friend's face may be holding a neutral expression, but Kyungsoo knows better; Yixing's emotions can all be seen through his eyes. And right now, his eyes are betraying his concern for Baekhyun. This is a side of Yixing that Kyungsoo treasures, an entirely endearing disposition of his best friend in that even though Yixing may not like a person, he'd still be worried about him or her. It's just so… _Yixing_ and Kyungsoo love that about his best friend so, so much.

“I don't know,” replies Kyungsoo as he shrugs his shoulders. He looks at Baekhyun again, eyes sweeping his body and realising that his posture hasn’t changed. Kyungsoo’s fingers are inexplicably twitching.

Yixing’s head suddenly appears in Kyungsoo’s peripheral field of vision, and Kyungsoo follows his friend’s gaze to the gap between him and Baekhyun. They’re almost two feet apart. Kyungsoo feels inexplicably uncomfortable. He whispers to Yixing, “Should I… walk closer to him?”

"You could," Yixing whispers back. "You don't have to be touching him, but I think he would appreciate the presence of someone next to him."

Without hesitation, Kyungsoo listens to Yixing and tries to discreetly edge himself closer to Baekhyun as they continue to plod along the dirt path. Yixing follows him since they’re still holding hands. Now much closer, Kyungsoo’s _durumagi_ grazes Baekhyun's, and the resulting rustle of fabric against fabric softly rings out in the silence. One step. Two steps. Three steps. Four steps.

Then, a hand unexpectedly slips into Kyungsoo’s.

And for the rest of the journey, until the entourage arrives at the doorstep of the compound where Young Mistress Park lives, Kyungsoo finds himself sandwiched between two young men whom he’s always going to associate the word ‘clingy’ with.

(Years later, Kyungsoo would regret doing what he did because _ugh Baekhyun can you stop sticking to me like glue?!_ )

 

\---

 

If there’s anything that Kyungsoo would be able to resolutely tell anyone at the end of the three-day visit to Young Mistress Park’s home is that Park Yoora is a carbon copy of her younger brother, Park Chanyeol.

Their facial features are almost identical, and if Chanyeol hadn’t been standing next to his sister when she came out to welcome them into her home, Kyungsoo would have dumbly screamed (in his head, of course) _since when did Chanyeol change into a female’s_ hanbok _!?_ Thankfully, he didn’t and having stayed in the same household as Young Mistress Park for two days now, Kyungsoo discovers that the similarities between the siblings end there.

Putting aside the obvious physical difference in height (and ears), Kyungsoo realises that the sister’s personality is almost the opposite of the brother’s. Perhaps it has to do with societal norms where males have to be calm, serious, and _mature_ in all settings and seeing how these values should have been inculcated since young, it's not a surprise to regard Chanyeol as the epitome of how a _Joseon_ young man should be. Kyungsoo would say that although he’s a _Joseon_ young man as well, he's not _that_ much of an epitome of one.

The two months of being around Chanyeol has Kyungsoo discovering that even as Chanyeol laughs and jokes with everyone and anyone, he’s actually pretty reserved and quiet. That side of Chanyeol usually appears when he’s not in the midst of many people, a facet of Young Master Park that Kyungsoo has had the (utmost) fortune to witness numerous times whenever he gets called to Chanyeol’s study to grind the inkstone as he writes. Yet, in spite of the duality in his personality, Chanyeol still smiles. A whole lot, actually. And Kyungsoo is very, very, _very_ glad to be the recipient of many (heartstopping ones).

As with how society has long decided on how males should be, it has also determined for females as well. Virtuosity. Modesty. Faithfulness. These are but some of the many values _Joseon_ women should possess. While it is not to say that both Mistress Park and Young Mistress Park do not have these supposed societal norms (not that Kyungsoo is able to judge because he’s only been with Mistress Park for two months and two days with Young Mistress Park) but Kyungsoo finds that both women do not really conform to what society has decided for them.

Unlike his mother, Chanyeol's mother and sister smile often, leading Kyungsoo to wonder if Mistress Park's penchant for smiling is the reason why her children smile so much no matter the time or situation. Is the disposition to smile inheritable? Also, Kyungsoo ponders over whether Yoora got her personality from her mother, because— _oh boy_ —both women are extremely easy-going. Kyungsoo’s cheeks still involuntarily flush whenever he recalls that first time he met Mistress Park in her _anbang_. Imagine receiving ten tight hugs and a kiss-on-the-cheek in the span of two _gaks_. Yes, Chanyeol’s mother is _that_ easy-going. (Though, it might have to do with how she knew of Kyungsoo’s real identity; but she, too, gave Yixing a kiss-on-the-cheek even though she knew that he was a servant.)

Kyungsoo hasn't had much contact with Chanyeol's sister—not that he wants to—but he knows that she's affable and happy-go-lucky through the way she treats everyone. She doesn't hold back her smiles and laughter, talks to everyone who enters her peripheral vision. Yoora behaves eerily like her mother, conversing with her servants as though they're friends, and making physical contact with her female servants as though they're best friends in the same group. It's not hard to tell that the reason why the atmosphere in Young Mistress Park's new home is similar to that of her old one is because of her. While Kyungsoo has only managed to see Yoora's _seobang_ once, during dinner on the first night, it’s also clear to him that the stern and serious-looking (whispered to him by Baekhyun) young master of this family is not immune to Young Mistress Park’s charms; the husband-and-wife pair were in their own world, giggling about something over at their table and ignoring whoever had called upon them.

Having always imagined how his _si bumo_ would be like— _are they evil, or kind, or stuck-up, or stingy, or even downright crazy_ —Kyungsoo is both delighted and relieved to say that he likes them more than he thought he would. While his _yakhonja_ 's family may be very much unlike his own, that their dynamics aren't really that conforming to societal norms, and that they're full of surprises, Kyungsoo thinks he can live with that.

That he can live with this family for the rest of his life.

With Chanyeol until death do they part.

 

\---

 

The pair of hands that suddenly join his on the wet _durumagi_ alerts Kyungsoo of another’s presence, but it is the scent—of _maehwa_ and earth—that tells Kyungsoo who exactly is behind him. Yet, while a bout of elation and nervousness, that often accompanies _his_ presence, inexorably washes over him, Kyungsoo immediately squashes it down in order to successfully assist the pair of hands in hanging the heavy, sopping garment onto the clothesline (which, for some reason, is fixed much higher than the height he is used to back in the Park household and Kyungsoo once again laments his short stature).

"T-Thank you, Youn– I mean, Chanyeol," says Kyungsoo as he swiftly turns around, wanting to bow to express his gratitude. Instead, he ends up getting a faceful of Chanyeol's chest. His breath hitches and Kyungsoo wills himself not to _sniff_. After discreetly shuffling backwards to put space between his face and Chanyeol’s (clothed) chest, he bows. “Thank you for helping me.”

“You’re most welcome, Soo.” is what Chanyeol replies, and Kyungsoo stays in his bow a couple of seconds longer to close his eyes as he basks in the pleasantly deep warble of Chanyeol’s words. His mind, especially, keeps _helpfully_ replaying how Chanyeol says his name (or part of it, anyway).

Kyungsoo only straightens himself when he hears the _thwap thwap thwap_ of what seems to be someone shaking or flapping wet garments. His eyes snap open to see Chanyeol hanging another one of his wet _durumagi_ over the clothesline.

“Ah! Young Master!” In his haste, Kyungsoo unconsciously calls out Chanyeol’s status. “What are you doing!” He reaches out for the wet garment in his young master’s hands, only to grasp at air when Chanyeol lifts it up and out of his reach. Kyungsoo reflexively whines, fingers making grabby actions. He doesn’t know what he has done until a gurgled coo comes from above him.

On Chanyeol’s face is a small smile, but while it might seem like any other of Chanyeol’s smile, Kyungsoo notices how _soft_ Chanyeol’s expression is.

Kyungsoo will not—dare not—presume it to be that of _fondness_.

The softness in Chanyeol’s expression doesn’t last long, sadly, for he goes back to hanging the wet _durumagi_ despite Kyungsoo's protests. The young master advantageously uses his height to keep the garment out of Kyungsoo's reach easily, but Kyungsoo's quick-thinking has him grabbing the basket of washed _durumagi_ instead. He hugs it to his chest, determined not to let his young master do any more of his duty.

“Soo, come on, let me help you,” persuades Chanyeol. He inches himself closer and closer to Kyungsoo, who backs away each time Chanyeol gets near. “You’re probably going to take awhile to hang these because this clothesline is higher than ours back home.”

 _What?_ Chanyeol... knows? Chanyeol actually knows about the difference in the height of the clotheslines?

Kyungsoo is impressed (and the space in his heart for Chanyeol expands a little more).

But, no. Kyungsoo isn’t going to let Chanyeol do his job. He’s Young Master Park for goodness’ sake, and although his family doesn’t really conform to societal norms, it is still unheard of for a young master to hang his own laundry. No. Kyungsoo will not allow it.

"It's okay. I can do it. You should go off and do what you were going to do," says Kyungsoo. He sends Chanyeol a smile and tilts his head in the opposite direction of the clotheslines. "Go on."

Chanyeol sighs, a defeated expression forming on his face. “Alright, I’ll leave you to hang the laundry. But, I’m still going to be right here.” Noticing an empty laundry basket, Chanyeol walks over to pick it up before overturning it and placing it sturdily on the ground. He sits on it. A smile. “Because I’m actually waiting for you, Soo.”

The basket of laundry that was in Kyungsoo’s arms lands on the ground with a loud _thunk_.

“H-H _uh_?”

“We’re going to the village market to pick out gifts for everyone back home,” explains Chanyeol. It seems that he’s understood what Kyungsoo meant with that single word of (involuntary) exclamation. “I would ask Baekhyun and Sehun to come with, but _noo-i_ got to them first. And, I can’t find Xing.”

“Oh.”

"This is the reason why I wanted to help you. We hang these fast, and we'd be able to go to the market, look around and buy the items, and get back here before _noo-i_ sends a search party out for us.” Chanyeol rolls his eyes and purses his lips. “I just _know_ she’d do that because that was what happened the last time I went out and didn’t return well until after dinner. I do not want to be lectured by her again.” He looks to Kyungsoo. “Can I have your permission to assist you now, Soo?”

Was Kyungsoo ever able to say _no_ to Chanyeol? (And even more so when being looked at by large, imploring eyes, reminding Kyungsoo of the adorable puppy Seungsoo brought home for his family. The puppy who clung to Kyungsoo daily, as though Seungsoo isn’t its rightful master.)

 

“You have good tastes, Soo,” says Chanyeol, as he carefully deposits the hairpin he just bought into the rattan basket carried by Kyungsoo. It’s cushioned amongst the other items he’s already purchased, but he picks it up seconds later to wrap it with a piece of paper after Kyungsoo hands it to him and tells him to do so. (Kyungsoo pretends not to notice how easily Chanyeol had listened to his words.)

With the hairpin wrapped and safely placed back into the basket, both young men simultaneously look back up at each other. Chanyeol breaks into a smile, encouraging Kyungsoo to do so as well. He does, but Kyungsoo drops his head a moment later because the smile on Chanyeol’s face is beginning to prove too much for him to handle. He looks down at the basket instead, a hand coming up to shut its lid.

Suddenly, there’s something on his head. Kyungsoo lifts his head a little, eyes darting as high as they can go in their sockets. It’s Chanyeol’s hand. Warmth emanates from his palm, spreading from his head to the rest of his body. Kyungsoo’s toes feel warm a couple of seconds later, and when Chanyeol gently applies pressure onto Kyungsoo’s head, fingerpads pressing comfortably onto scalp, Kyungsoo resists the urge to sigh in pleasure. The heat that courses within him doesn’t make Kyungsoo feel uncomfortable at all. It doesn’t contribute to his body heat, doesn’t aid in the forming of perspiration due to the warming weather. Kyungsoo bites on his lower lip, silently enjoying the way Chanyeol’s large hand is gently tousling his hair.

But as quickly as Chanyeol's hand came, it goes away just as fast as well. The crown of Kyungsoo's head feels cold, now that its source of heat has disappeared, and the feeling is rapidly felt in other parts of Kyungsoo's body; his toes curl at the loss of warmth. Kyungsoo doesn't have time to deal with this, though.

“Let’s go,” says Chanyeol. Kyungsoo looks up in time to see him gesturing to the street in front of them. He wonders if he imagined the flash of pink on Chanyeol’s face. “I still wish to purchase a small coin pouch for _abanim_ and, if my memory is correct, I think there's a stall on the next street that might sell it."

Kyungsoo nods, fiddles with the basket handle on his arm. Then, they’re on their way.

The market in Yoora's village is similar to the one in Kyungsoo's village. Stalls of all sizes are situated everywhere, selling all kinds of items. The size of this market seems to be larger than Kyungsoo's village's though, and Kyungsoo is fairly sure that if he were out here alone, he'd be utterly lost. Fortunately, he has Chanyeol with him.

The pair head down the street, the hustle and bustle of the market surrounding them from all directions. Kyungsoo prevents himself from being distracted by the sounds and sights of the place, thinking that he ought to stay alert seeing how Chanyeol seems to be rather immersed and distracted by it all. He finds himself having to reach out to tug at Chanyeol's sleeve a couple of times because Chanyeol hasn't seen the groups of children entering their path. Thankfully, his young master responds instantly and lets himself be stopped. Kyungsoo wills himself not to coo when Chanyeol playfully tousles the hair of a boy who shoots him a toothless grin.

"Thank you." Kyungsoo suddenly says. He looks up at Chanyeol, sends him a smile, only to quickly add on after confusion mars his young master's face. "I was replying to you because you said something to me just now." Kyungsoo doesn't know why he ended with a lilt, as though he's questioning Chanyeol. He clears his throat, and says with finality, "I'm glad to be of help to you, Chanyeol." Then, an afterthought. "Also, thank you for bringing me along with you to the market."

The confusion seeps out of Chanyeol’s face seconds later, and the corners of Chanyeol’s lips slowly tug upwards, forming the smile that Kyungsoo’s received numerous times, and— _oh_ —there it is. For the second time, Kyungsoo sees the soft expression on Chanyeol’s face. He still will not—dare not—presume it to be that of fondness. Kyungsoo quickly drops his head to prevent Chanyeol from seeing his face that’s no doubt red.

They stop at a _jeon_ stall, where Chanyeol nudges Kyungsoo and tilts his head towards the display of the variety of _jeon_. "I'm going to buy some for Baekhyun and Sehun, so you could pick some for yourself and Xing as well."

Kyungsoo nods. He sweeps his eyes across the spread of _jeon_ , sees the select few that he knows Yixing loves and tentatively points to them. The stall owner wraps them all up, and Chanyeol politely hands over the required amount of cash before receiving the package. He stows it into Kyungsoo's basket, taking care not to damage the already-bought items. Kyungsoo notices how Chanyeol seems to take _especially_ good care of the hairpin; it’s not hard to know who it’s for.

Just then, a loud cry sharply cuts through the din of the street. Everyone and everything stop immediately and silence descends upon the street. Kyungsoo snaps his head in the direction of the cry, only for a gasp to slip past his lips when he's suddenly pulled forward–

–and his arm is extended in front of him. Kyungsoo's legs aren't listening to him, and Kyungsoo apparently doesn't remember stretching his arm out. Then, he sees it.

His hand in Chanyeol’s.

A breath involuntarily hitches in Kyungsoo's throat, and his mouth goes dry. With his surroundings already in silence, Kyungsoo's attention is able to be focused on the sight in front of him solely. All Kyungsoo sees and registers is the sight of Chanyeol's hand holding onto his.

He's so enveloped in his little bubble and so focused on how small his hand is in Chanyeol's larger one, that Kyungsoo honestly doesn't register anything else until a sound shatters the silence of his surroundings. And he returns to reality to find himself standing next to a Chanyeol who has a crying girl on his back.

“Soo, you alright?” Chanyeol asks, his brows furrowed in concern.

Kyungsoo nods, answers Chanyeol with a breathy _yes I am_. He pointedly looks at the girl then, the unspoken question of _who is this?_ lingering in the air. Reaching towards the still-crying child, Kyungsoo gently grazes his index under the girl's eyes, wiping away her tears.

“She’s lost,” Chanyeol says, clenching his fists as he hefts the girl a little more up his back. His fists do not unclench themselves after doing so—the manner hands of a man when in physical contact with a female. “She burst into tears because she panicked after she couldn’t see her father next to her.”

"Would she know her way home if we were to take her back?" asks Kyungsoo, the question directed at Chanyeol but he's looking at the child instead. He reaches out again, index gently wiping away the tears welling in her eyes. She's still tearing up, hiccups involuntarily coming out of her but least she's stopped crying. It's cute, the way the girl is resting her cheek on Chanyeol's shoulder, thin arms loosely wrapped around his torso, fingers curled into his _durumagi_. Kyungsoo belatedly wonders how Chanyeol got her to be on his back.

“I think she–”

“I-I do.”

A soft, sweet voice unexpectedly cuts into Chanyeol’s words. Kyungsoo focuses his attention on the girl while Chanyeol tries as much as he can to turn his head to look at her. He gives up, choosing to heft the child back up his back again because she’s slid down a little.

“ _Abanim_ made me memorise the way home from the market, so if _orabeonim_ could just walk to where the salt stall is, I would be able to get home from there.”

Kyungsoo looks to Chanyeol, who nods and says, “I know where that is, but _orabeonim_ would like to accompany you home if you don’t mind. We want to see you safely home.”

It's gentle. The way Chanyeol speaks to the child is soft, soothing, and nothing short of tender. It's a way that Kyungsoo has never once witnessed before. In their society, children are regarded as below that of adults, and as a result, they are often treated as such. The adults talk down to them, tones harsh and condescending, as though children are dumb and unknowing beings. While Kyungsoo's mother doesn't believe in that her children are stupid, there are times where Kyungsoo had felt she did think of him as such. Especially when she's lecturing him, nagging at him; Kyungsoo had never once thought of himself as _worthy_ after those times.

Yet, Chanyeol is none of that. From the way he speaks to her and treats her, as well as how he had unhesitatingly ruffled the hair of the boy from before, it’s clear that Chanyeol regards children as equals. _His_ equals. And Kyungsoo can’t help his heart from clenching and expanding the Chanyeol space within it. Kyungsoo is so, so, _so_ endeared by his _yakhonja_ , and he wonders if he can fall even _more_ in love with this man who has already made him fall so, so deep.

 

It turns out, he can. Kyungsoo can fall _even more_ in love with Chanyeol.

Along the way to the girl's home, Chanyeol tried to engage her in conversation. He'd ask questions, and the girl would answer, though, at times, she wouldn't, and the conversation would lapse into silence… until Chanyeol piped up with yet another question. Kyungsoo doesn't know where Chanyeol gets his seemingly unending number of questions from, but then again, as a young master who has been alive for twenty-seven years, Kyungsoo supposes that Chanyeol has seen, heard, and read enough to know. (The number of books in Chanyeol's study is no joke.)

Chanyeol's persistent, but carefully considerate, questioning led to the girl opening up and confiding in both of them (or just Chanyeol, technically). She revealed that she lives with her father, who is a server at the village's inn. As he works long hours and does not have enough money to enable her to learn at any school, she usually follows him to work and stays at the inn until he gets off and they'd return home together at the ungodly hours. The child's mother has passed, a victim of a viral disease that claimed many lives years ago. The disease had been curable, but the family just could not afford the medicine and thus had to let the mother slip more and more into the deadly clutches of the disease. The girl had been only four years old when her mother breathed her last.

“I know someone like that, too.”

Turning his head to look at Chanyeol, Kyungsoo is surprised to see tears welling up in Chanyeol’s eyes. He’s tearing up again, just as he had after the girl finished her story. Kyungsoo hadn’t known that Chanyeol was this… emotional. That his heart goes out to people and feels for them. That, despite his social status, Young Master Park doesn’t think of the people who are lower than him on the social ladder any less than himself.

That Chanyeol is someone like _this_. Someone whose character and disposition are beyond what Kyungsoo has ever imagined. He's really learning a lot about Chanyeol, where every day there's something new for him to find out about his _yakhonja_. There are surprises at every step and every turn Kyungsoo takes on this journey of discovering Park Chanyeol.

A sniffle, and Kyungsoo wants to wipe Chanyeol's tears away, wants to clean the snot from his nose. But, Kyungsoo keeps his hands to himself for fear of his actions being called out as ‘inappropriate'. Although certain that Chanyeol wouldn't say that, Kyungsoo still doesn't allow himself to. He can't get past himself to behave as such. Maybe in the future. Maybe. Maybe there will come a day where Kyungsoo would be able to freely and unhesitatingly wipe away Chanyeol's tears. For now, though, Kyungsoo is content that he's able to be next to his _yakhonja_.

"Their plight is worse than that child's, though," murmurs Chanyeol as he lifts a sleeve up to his eyes, fabric efficiently absorbing the tears. "They–" Another sniffle. "They never got the chance to see the parent." Yet another sniffle. More fresh tears. "The parent who passed away."

It’s unmistakable.

It’s evident that this _someone_ Chanyeol knows is a person he holds dear. For the instant Chanyeol mentioned this ‘someone’, the atmosphere around them changed. For the worse. The season may be warm right now, but Kyungsoo clearly feels the drop in temperature, a chill washing over him and causing his body to jerk involuntarily. Muffled noises come from the basket on his arm, the items probably jostled, bumping into one another.

The emotion that Chanyeol is feeling right now is visible on his body. The way he's dropped his head, relaxed his shoulders, hunched his back shows the sadness he's feeling. The corners of his lips are downturned, forming a scowl and marring his (good-looking) face. A grey cloud seems to be floating above him, raindrops turning into the tears that are rolling down his cheeks.

Kyungsoo wants to wipe Chanyeol’s tears away. He really, really, _really_ wants to. His hands are trembling, fingers twitching from the urge to do so. Yet, he doesn’t. And with each tear that spills from Chanyeol’s eyes, Kyungsoo has to tighten the grip his hands have on each other. He can’t. Not yet.

"I–" Chanyeol chokes, coughs a little into the hand that immediately flies up to cover his mouth. The grip of Kyungsoo's hands is impossibly tight now. "I wonder every day, every single day how they're doing, how they're coping with the death of their parent."

“Do you… not talk with them?”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “I don’t. And it’s not that I can’t, but it’s more of I– I don’t.” He shakes his head again. “I don’t have the courage to do so. To talk to them.”

Kyungsoo knows that he should comfort Chanyeol (in other ways that do not involve him wiping away tears). He knows that he should say things that would calm Chanyeol down, soothe his agitated self, and set him back to neutrality and normality. Yet, Kyungsoo doesn’t. It’s not that he doesn’t want to—he _really_ wants to—but it’s more of he can’t. Kyungsoo _can’t_ comfort Chanyeol.

Because he doesn’t know how to.

Chanyeol's story of that someone whom he knows (and probably holds incredibly dear to his heart) reminds Kyungsoo's of his own. Of the death of his parent. The death of his father whom he has never once seen. As someone who has never truly gotten over the passing and absence of someone who should be present in his life, Kyungsoo doesn't know how to comfort. He has never learnt to, has never needed to because Yixing is the one who comforts him. Kyungsoo has never had someone who needed his words and actions of comfort. And even if he has learnt to, even if he wants to, he can't. Kyungsoo simply can't— _won’t_ —because how could he? How _dare_ he attempt to do something like that when sometimes darkness washes over him, gnaws at his heart, creeps into his consciousness and stains his dreams, corrupts them and turns them into nightmares?

How can Kyungsoo mend when he himself is broken?

Thus, it is with utmost regret that Kyungsoo stays silent. He remains by Chanyeol’s side, though, but he keeps quiet. Chanyeol’s soft sobs and sniffles gradually wane and disappear altogether by the time they return to Yoora’s home. If the servants, Baekhyun and Sehun, Yoora, as well as Yixing who have noticed how both of them look so exhausted, so weary beyond comprehension, they don’t mention it.

And even as they convene for one last dinner before returning home, with Chanyeol seated directly opposite him, Kyungsoo doesn’t bring up how they’ve forgotten to buy the coin pouch for Chanyeol’s father.

 

\---

 

“Soo, can I talk to you for a moment?”

A now-familiar voice suddenly comes from behind, and Kyungsoo immediately whirls around to find Yoora standing behind him. There’s a smile on her face, and her hands clasped in front of her.  “May I talk to you, Soo? There’s something I would like to speak to you about.”

Kyungsoo notices how she’s fidgeting a little, her fingers fiddling with the jade ring on her ring finger. It’s unlike her to be this… nervous. Kyungsoo wonders if something is wrong. Though, he glances back at the platform, where numerous bags of belongings are waiting for him to stack them safely onto the carts that will be wheeled home. Kyungsoo starts to gnaw at his lower lip. There are way too many bags to stack, and time is running out for them to do so. He would gladly acquiesce to Yoora’s request if he could, but he and Yixing are the only ones doing this. Kyungsoo doesn’t know where Baekhyun and Sehun have run off to slack; it wouldn’t be the first time, anyway. As the two persons who are older in years than both he and Yixing, Baekhyun and Sehun sure don’t act like they’re older.

“I don’t know if I can, Young Mistress P–”

“You should go, Soo,” Yixing interjects. His face is glistening under the morning sun, the work of a thin sheen of perspiration on his skin. Kyungsoo extends a hand, dabs the hem of his sleeve on his best friend’s forehead, nose, cheeks, and chin. He returns Yixing’s grateful smile with a smile of his own, which falters slightly when Yixing says, “I’ll try to finish up here on my own, so you should go with Young Mistress, Soo.” In response to Kyungsoo’s uncertainty, Yixing laughs before shooing him away with both his hands. “I’ll be okay. Now, go!" He turns to Yoora, his playfulness abruptly tamped down and a good-natured expression forms on his face almost immediately. He bows. "Please take him, Young Mistress, and take care of him for me. Thank you."

“Don’t you worry your pretty head, Xing. You know I will,” Yoora replies, her head bowing a little to return Yixing’s. She looks to Kyungsoo, jerks a thumb in the general direction of somewhere. “Let’s not waste any more time.”

Kyungsoo nods and begins to trail behind his Young Mistress Park.

 

The garden in front of Yoora’s quarters may be beautiful, but Kyungsoo still thinks Chanyeol’s is the best. (Which may or may not be—it so _is_ —because of a certain _namu_.) Still, he takes in the different species of fauna, sighing inwardly as he observes how even Yoora’s _baekhab_ is prettier than his back home. Walking on a tiled path, Kyungsoo follows Yoora to a small pavilion built next to a small pond. He notices how there is a pair of fish swimming freely in it, the distance between them never too far. He unconsciously smiles at that.

“My _seobang_ bought them,” Yoora pipes up. Kyungsoo tears his eyes away from the fish to find her looking at him. There is a familiar facet to Yoora’s expression, an emotion that Kyungsoo has seen before somewhere, and he belatedly realises _what_ it is when his young mistress’ expression goes even softer than before. _Ah._ He knows where he’s seen the similar expression now.

Gesturing to one of the stools placed around the round, wooden table, Yoora continues, "He imagined the fish to be him, and I. Told me that we should be like them, free and without a care in the world." She chuckles then, hiding her parted smile behind a hand. "We try our best to achieve that aspiration of his, and I think we're not too bad. Even when my _seobang_ often departs for business trips to other villages, I don’t coop myself up here and mull over his absence.”

“But, you must… miss him when he’s not here with you.”

Yoora hums, shrugs her shoulders, but the way her facial features have arranged themselves says otherwise. Forlornness defines them. “I do miss him, even if we didn’t marry out of love at the start.”

Ah. So even Young Mistress Park wasn't spared being married off to another prominent family in another village for the mutual benefits for both families. It makes Kyungsoo wonder if _anyone_ born in _yangban_ families is even able to marry out of love.

“But after spending time with him, I grew to have feelings. And he was the one who confessed first, so I suppose missing him when he’s not here with me is a natural response because, now, we’re genuinely in a marriage for love,” Yoora says, her tone evidently fond.  “Though, I miss my _awoo_ very much as well.”

The abrupt change of subject throws Kyungsoo off for a bit, but he quickly recovers. “Of course you would. Ch– I mean, Young Master Park hardly visits you here.” Kyungsoo reels in slight horror at his almost-mistake, forgetting that _only_ Chanyeol wants to hear his name being called. He’s pretty sure that other people _would_ mind when Chanyeol isn’t addressed as Young Master.

Yoora nods then sighs loudly. She seems to be gazing at the pair of fish in the pond, but the corners of her lips are slightly tugged downwards, and Kyungsoo thinks he sees a grey cloud floating above her head. (What is with Kyungsoo and seeing other people's grey clouds, though?)

He’s about to say something to mediate the seemingly down atmosphere when Yoora suddenly snaps her head in his direction and solemnly says, “That is why I needed to speak with you, Soo. I need you to do me a favour.”

The rapid switch of Yoora’s demeanour throws Kyungsoo off for the second time within a _gak_ , but he quickly recovers and straightens his torso. “Please,” Kyungsoo replies in the same way he was given a request. “I will do all I can to help you, Young Mistress.”

“I need you to take care of Chanyeol for me.”

“I w– Huh?” Kyungsoo blinks. Blinks. And blinks again before his eyes blow wide and his face contorts in sheer horror. Oh dear. Not only did Kyungsoo not give his young mistress an answer, he even dumbly blurted out a _huh_. And now, his expression must be offending Yoora because what if she thinks Kyungsoo is reacting to her request. Although, that request of hers was definitely not something Kyungsoo was expecting.

"Chanyeol always hears that from me each time before he leaves for home, but I would often wonder if he truly does take care of himself." It is as though Yoora has not heard Kyungsoo's involuntary blunder of words, nor seen his expression of horror; she just continues from where she left off. "His nightmares shouldn't be recurring but they are, and that worries me a lot. He shouldn't be having those nightmares anymore; he shouldn't."

The nightmares that Yoora is talking about rings a bell in Kyungsoo’s head. He recalls that one time Chanyeol seemed to have lapsed into one when he was sleeping under the _maehwa namu_. Yoora’s words confirmed Kyungsoo’s suspicions—Chanyeol _does_ dream about what he had dreamt that time more than once. Kyungsoo’s chest inexplicably begins to ache.

"I have told both Baekhyun and Sehun to take care of him as well, countless times actually, and I know that they do, but it's not enough for me. As his _noo-i_ , I wish the best for him, and it pains me so much to know that he may not be alright sometimes." Yoora has visibly slumped forward, head a little tilted downwards, shoulders slightly hunched. Her voice is trembling, volume gradually decreasing to that of almost a whisper. Thankfully, the garden is tranquil enough for her words to travel safely to Kyungsoo's ears.

Upon registering her state of being, Kyungsoo is at a loss of how to respond to his young mistress. While he wants to offer words of comfort, Kyungsoo doesn't forget the disparity in social status (even if it isn't true) and thinks about if it would be inappropriate for him to do that. Though, it seems that Yoora might not need them after all.

“You must be wondering why I asked of you to take care of Chanyeol for me.” Her demeanour has abruptly switched again, and Kyungsoo is heartened to know that Young Mistress Park is not someone who lets herself stay down in the dumps for long. (And he briefly thinks of Chanyeol, of how he’s also like this at times. These two siblings are more alike than Kyungsoo thinks they are. The Parks truly are full of surprises.)

"I have observed you since the first day, Soo. While you and Xing are similar in character, and so vastly different from Baekhyun and Sehun, there's something about you that sets you apart from the three of them. There's something about you that I can't explain, that makes me trust you without condition, without getting to know you. Heck, I didn't even know your name!" Yoora throws her hands in the air, an amused expression on her face. "But I knew I could trust you. This is the reason why I wasn't worried when Chanyeol went out to the market because you were with him. I knew that you would keep him safe."

Young Mistress Park’s words are a lot to digest. To absorb. To process. Kyungsoo can’t think straight. He vaguely feels his hands sliding onto his thighs, fingers curling into fabric. His eyes seem to be looking at a part of Yoora’s face, but his vision is blurry because his eyes are unseeing. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what he could do, should do, or will do. And, unfortunately, it seems that Yoora has more to say.

“Soo, you are like a… rock, an anchor. You’re firm, steady, and stable. I’ve noticed how my _awoo_ seems to be less… wild, for the lack of a better word, when he's around you. Chanyeol is like a mirror; his inherent stability emerges because he's reflecting _your_ stability. And I like that a lot. I have nothing against Baekhyun and Sehun—and don’t you dare say anything to them—but Chanyeol gets into trouble whenever he’s with those two, and as his _noo-i_ , I don’t like that, don’t want that for him.”

Upon meeting Yoora’s gaze, Kyungsoo promptly nods and pats his chest, on the area above his heart. He promises to not speak of this to anyone, not even Yixing should he ask. (But knowing Yixing, he won’t.)

A contented smile. “This is why I want you to take care of him. I see that you will, know that you will, and am reassured that you will do your utmost best to do as I’ve requested. Because, despite only knowing you for three days, I trust you.” Yoora gazes at Kyungsoo, her eyes shining with an emotion that he’s only seen in the eyes of his family members and in Yixing’s.

“I have faith in you, Soo.”

This time, Kyungsoo knows how he has to respond, and seeing how Yoora’s face instantly brightens, he knows he’s made the correct choice to nod and say, in as much determination and promise, a _yes_.

 

Sitting back down on his stool after sending Yoora off to the entrance of the pavilion, Kyungsoo looks out to the pond and his unsaid promise to his young mistress echoes in his head. _I’ll take care of Chanyeol._ He will. Kyungsoo will do that. Even if Yoora hasn’t explicitly told him to, he would have either way for Kyungsoo has never once forgotten the purpose of him going undercover in the Park household. Chanyeol is his _yakhonja_ , whom he’s fallen for at first sight. And with each day he spends with him, Kyungsoo falls even more. Nobody has to tell him to _take care of Chanyeol_ because Kyungsoo will.

It doesn't take long for him to locate the pair of fish; they don't seem to like to stray too far from the pavilion. Kyungsoo stares at them. A smile soon forms on his face when he registers the distance between the fish, and he wonders if he and Chanyeol can be like them one day.

Where the distance between them is minimal, and that they would never be far from each other in body, soul, and heart.

 

\---

 

Even though he’s certain that Yoora would never know of his efforts, Kyungsoo doesn’t stop in his care for Chanyeol. (Not that he would _ever_.)

“Tell Xing that his culinary skill has improved,” says Chanyeol, after he has all but drunk every single drop and swallowed every single bean in the bowl that used to contain Yixing’s green bean soup. “He has a knack for cooking, it seems. I wonder if _eomanim_ wishes to transfer him over to the kitchens instead.”

Kyungsoo bites back the scoff that threatens to escape his pursed lips. Yixing would never be transferred to the kitchens—even if he wanted to—because he’s technically _not_ a servant of the Parks, and Kyungsoo would never allow him to leave his side anyway. Who is he going to cuddle with at night, or rant to about the day’s happenings if Yixing is gone?

“You should tell him that yourself.” Kyungsoo takes the empty bowl from Chanyeol and places it on the ground beside him. He then offers his young master a piece of wet handkerchief to wipe his mouth with. “Xing would be very happy to hear it from you, Chanyeol.”

“That’s true.” Chanyeol nods his head as he swipes the handkerchief across his mouth. He looks at it, then wipes his mouth again. His next words come out a little muffled. “Nothing beats the wonderful sense of accomplishment that accompanies the praises after your hard work.” He makes a move to stow the soiled handkerchief into the sleeve of his _durumagi_ , but Kyungsoo already has a hand in front of him, palm facing up. It’s clear that the handkerchief is to be returned. Chanyeol obediently places the handkerchief onto Kyungsoo’s palm.

“And knowing Xing, your one, single compliment is probably enough to offset several others—as bad as that sounds.” Kyungsoo tucks the handkerchief into the sleeve of his _durumagi_. He fiddles with that sleeve for a moment, shaking his arm to ensure that the handkerchief wouldn’t dislodge while he’s in movement. A satisfied smile forms on Kyungsoo’s face when he doesn’t feel the handkerchief shifting in his sleeve.

“As bad as that sounds,” Chanyeol reiterates, sticking out his tongue in cheekiness.

The short conversation lapses into silence then. Kyungsoo relaxes his body, tilts his head back until it's resting against the trunk of the _maehwa namu_. Next to him, Chanyeol does the same.

Darting his eyes up as far as they can go, Kyungsoo begins to admire the lone beauty of Chanyeol's garden. Its flowering season has long passed, but even without its blooms of pink purple pink, the _maehwa namu_ is still beautiful in Kyungsoo’s eyes. They eagerly take in the green of the leaves and the brown of the branches. Sunlight peeps through the gaps in the leaves, casting its yellow onto Kyungsoo’s face, body. Kyungsoo squeezes an eye shut after a breeze comes and ruffles the leaves, repositioning them and allowing more of the late afternoon sun to enter beyond its canopy of green. He tilts his head slightly towards Chanyeol, eye reopening since the sunlight isn’t hitting directly on it anymore.

The consequence of Kyungsoo’s action only hits him when he feels something resting on the crown of his head. He tries to move his head, but it wouldn’t budge under the weight of that _something_. Kyungsoo, however, knows its identity.

“Could you move your head, Chanyeol?” _It’s rather heavy_ remains unsaid, for fear of being rebutted and an argument might ensue knowing both his and Chanyeol’s nature of not backing down.

An index finger appears in front of him. It wriggles from side to side. Kyungsoo resists the urge to grab it, to stop it from moving and telling him that _no, I will not move my head_. Ugh, it’s at times like this that Kyungsoo can’t believe that Chanyeol is older than he is—nine years, in fact.

But, okay, fine. Kyungsoo can deal with this… childish side of Chanyeol. It’s not like he hasn’t experienced this facet of his young master yet—he has, loads of times now actually—and am at a loss of what to do. Kyungsoo knows _exactly_ what to do. And that is to do absolutely nothing. While he very much wants to duck his head and remove himself from Chanyeol’s side (Young Master Park has _somehow_ managed to nestle himself into his servant’s side without him realising), Kyungsoo knows that _that_ would get him nowhere. It would only result in Chanyeol resting his head onto Kyungsoo's again after he manhandles Kyungsoo under a long, strong arm. There is no escape after that, and he would know because it has happened before.

This isn’t the first time Chanyeol has his head against Kyungsoo’s. It isn’t the first time Chanyeol is sitting next to Kyungsoo under the _maehwa namu_. It also isn’t the first time Chanyeol has ~~slyly~~ discreetly settled himself comfortably into an unsuspecting Kyungsoo’s side. All these aren’t happening for the first time. Yet, they still happen. Again. And again. And again.

And again, because Kyungsoo allows them to happen.

In his defence, Kyungsoo reasons that it's because he's a servant. He's obligated to make his young master happy, to satisfy his wants and needs (not in _that_ way, of course; Kyungsoo’s not even eighteen years old for goodness’ sake!), to fulfil his wishes without complaint. He has to indulge his Young Master Park, at the expense of himself.

Yet, should Kyungsoo honestly admit and confess the other side of that reason, his defence would all but crumble and disintegrate into nothing. For instead of saying that _I have to indulge Chanyeol_ , Kyungsoo should be saying that _I’m indulging myself, frankly_. And he is. Kyungsoo is indeed allowing himself to enjoy all that. He likes how rooted Chanyeol’s head on his makes him feel; how safe and secure the arm Chanyeol has around his shoulders makes him feel; how warm Chanyeol’s body is nestled against his own; and how reassuring Chanyeol’s presence is in this foreign location he’s called home for more than two months now. Sixty days Kyungsoo has been undercover in the Park household, and each day he discovers something new about his _yakhonja_ and his family.

He wonders when will the discovery stop. Will that be the day he gets to return home, gets to go back to being Young Master Do?

Kyungsoo is so absorbed in the questions filling his head that he doesn’t hear Chanyeol until he feels his nose being pinched, the bout of air that he’s just inhaled lodging in his throat. Goodness gracious, is his young master trying to kill him?

Chanyeol’s laughter greets him when Kyungsoo has regulated his breathing, and he huffily crosses his arms and slaps on his face an unimpressed expression. He hopes that his scowl is impressive enough to get Chanyeol to stop laughing because _there is a limit to how long I can hear you laugh without breaking into squeals and blush like a besotted schoolgirl_. Kyungsoo has been acclaimed (by Yoora) to be a rock, an anchor for goodness’ sake. His stability shouldn’t be this easily affected by something as trivial as laughter.

Unfortunately, Chanyeol’s laughter is an exception.

Fortunately for Kyungsoo, Chanyeol stops laughing soon after and Kyungsoo feels his heartbeat returning to normal. Thank goodness, because he’s not going to know what to do should Chanyeol stop laughing but his heart continues to thump rapidly, and its beats could very well be heard in the silence of this wayward part of the garden by Chanyeol. That would be embarrassing. Kyungsoo doesn’t handle embarrassment very well.

Chanyeol has removed himself from Kyungsoo—head, arm, and side all away. He tilts his head playfully to a side, says, "I was asking you for your thoughts about this tree." Chanyeol places a palm onto the trunk. "This _maehwa namu_.”

Thoughts? Kyungsoo has a lot of them.

Thoughts with regards to the _maehwa namu_? Kyungsoo has even _more_.

But more so than those, Kyungsoo has more thoughts concerning Chanyeol. As his _yakhonja_ , as someone who has promised to take good care of him, Kyungsoo thinks it’s only natural for him to think about Chanyeol, even if the frequency of him thinking borders on way too much and way too unhealthy.

Within the seemingly uncountable number of thoughts, Kyungsoo has about Chanyeol is one that he's been meaning to ask ever since he first saw Chanyeol under the lone beauty of his garden.

_What are your thoughts about this maehwa namu?_

Chanyeol hums as he thinks, clearly not in the least bit affected with Kyungsoo not answering his question but instead asking him one. He tilts his head from side to side (and Kyungsoo curls his fingers even more into his _durumagi_. They’re not going to find their way to Chanyeol’s head and cup his cheeks in a bid to stop the movement. Kyungsoo is _not_ going to let himself do that.).

“If I have to say just one thing about this tree, I would say that it’s my… rock.” Chanyeol stops tilting his head, looks at Kyungsoo. His gaze captures Kyungsoo, the seriousness swirling in his eyes not letting Kyungsoo look away; not that Kyungsoo wants to.

A hand makes its way back to the trunk of the _maehwa namu_ , and Kyungsoo can’t help but watch, in his peripheral vision, how Chanyeol gently caresses the bark with his index. It’s inexplicably intimate, as though Chanyeol is communicating with the tree. This time, Kyungsoo dares to presume that the soft expression on Chanyeol’s face is that of fondness. And he’s not wrong.

"I adore this tree very much because it came into my life at a point where I was experiencing a… tough time,” explains Chanyeol. "Whenever I was feeling down, when I wasn't feeling like myself, I'd come to the tree, sit under it, hug it, and talk to it. While it has never given me a reply, I found myself liking the times I poured out all my worries and concerns to it. And I never had to fear repercussions since I wasn't speaking to my parents or my _noo-i_.”

Chanyeol looks up at the leaves. Smiles. “It has become something that is of utmost importance to me, and—don’t tell anyone else—sometimes I find myself more willing to talk to it than with my parents because I’ve always felt that it’s listening to me.” He looks back down, at his twiddling thumbs. “I’ve always felt a presence whenever I’m here, as though there was someone with me.” He then looks up, straight at Kyungsoo. Chanyeol’s eyes are shining so brightly. “It is my rock, my anchor. It is the one thing that I can count on to never change despite the passing time.”

It’s just a tree. It’s just a _maehwa namu_. Yet, the way Chanyeol so beautifully articulated his affection for it makes Kyungsoo think of it as a living _person_ instead of a living thing. Chanyeol's explanation opened the door to a new perspective that Kyungsoo will have of the tree. While he has always found himself gravitating to it during his free time, Kyungsoo realises that he's never once spoken about his worries and concerns to it. He'd greet it like a friend before sitting down on the ground, back leaning against its trunk. And that's it. Kyungsoo's time with the _maehwa namu_ is often filled with silence, comfortable silence.

Though, now, he thinks if he should start to _really_ treat the tree like a friend, even if it will never give him a reply.

“There’s also…” Chanyeol starts to talk again, and Kyungsoo refocuses his attention on his young master. A frown soon unconsciously forms on Kyungsoo’s face, as Chanyeol’s bright expression has waned to that of a seemingly melancholy one. “There’s something about this tree that I have to say to someone.”

It elicits Kyungsoo’s curiosity. “And what would that be, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol doesn’t reply, just smiles at Kyungsoo knowingly. He’s not taunting Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo kind of feels like he is.

_Wouldn’t you like to know?_

Ugh.

 

\---

 

Things seem to change after that.

As someone who’s only ever had a Yixing by his side ever since he began to be an undercover servant, Kyungsoo is surprised to find himself having a Chanyeol around him now. Oh, and there’s also a Baekhyun and a Sehun who, unfortunately, are a package deal with their young master. Kyungsoo can _honestly_ do without them but, oh well, whatever. Yixing distracts them most of the time anyway.

Since that day Yixing cooked green bean soup for the first time and got Kyungsoo to take a bowl to Chanyeol, which led to Kyungsoo asking Chanyeol one of his burning questions, which in turn resulted in Chanyeol revealing his past with the _maehwa namu_. At the end of it all, Chanyeol said something that has been swimming in Kyungsoo’s head, bugging the heck out of him because Kyungsoo wants to know more. He wants to satiate his curiosity.

But, if Chanyeol had wanted Kyungsoo to know, he would have already said it at that time. So clearly, that _something_ is not meant for Kyungsoo’s ears.

He shouldn't feel disappointed. Nor jealous. Or unhappy. Yet, Kyungsoo realises that he is and that he can't help his pathetic self from feeling so. He knows why he feels that way, but he doesn’t want to admit it.

“Because you have feelings for him. _Genuine_ feelings for him, Soo,” says Yixing.

Kyungsoo groans. “So my good feelings are making me feel bad feelings, is that right? Does that _even_ make sense, Xing?” He flips onto his back, darts his eyes to the young man standing in front of him.

“And it doesn’t help that he’s been around you a lot these days.” Yixing purses his lips, pauses in his folding of their washed _durumagi_. “His presence isn’t helping you to forget. Though, I wonder why he’s behaving like that.”

"I don't know." Kyungsoo shrugs. "Things seemed to have changed after that day you made me bring to him your green bean soup. And whatever happened after that, I've already told you that very same night—in _detail_.”

Placing the folded _durumagi_ into the cupboard, Yixing closes the door and makes his way to the joined futon. He plops himself onto it, feet immediately kicking his blanket over to Kyungsoo’s side. “But I don’t see how that day could have suddenly made Chanyeol follow you all over the place like a puppy.”

“He’s not a puppy!” Kyungsoo huffs, shooting up into a sitting position. He folds his arms across his chest and frowns disapprovingly at his best friend. “You take back what you said about my _yakhonja_ , you!”

A glint ignites in both of Yixing’s eyes. “I don’t know,” he lilts, a mischievous grin appearing on his face; his right cheek dimples. “Chanyeol sure looks like a puppy to me.”

“He’s not!”

“I’m pretty sure he is.”

“He is not!”

“Don’t lie to yourself, Soo. One must _not_ cheat oneself.”

The smirk on Yixing's face is maddening. The playful glint in his eyes even more so. Fine, if Yixing wants to play, so be it. Kyungsoo shall rise to this (happens-more-often-than-one-would-think) occasion.

“Then I suppose, _Xing_ , that you shouldn’t lie to yourself either,” Kyungsoo begins to say, his tone _pointedly_ more casual than usual, and he tilts his head in the manner which he knows makes him look adorable (Seungsoo had offhandedly commented). “That you, too, have puppies following you around.”

The sudden disappearance of Yixing’s haughtiness is so satisfying to see. Yixing visibly slumps, body curling into itself as his eyes begin to dart around wildly. They blatantly avoid looking at Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo bites back a smirk. Yixing wanted to play, so Kyungsoo is now _playing_ with him.

“While I would say that Baekhyun and Sehun are like a package deal with Chanyeol, I’m pretty sure that there’s _another_ reason as to why they’d be willing to go around without complaints,” says Kyungsoo. His tone may sound casual, but Kyungsoo knows that Yixing knows that it’s anything _but_ casual. His expression gives that away anyway—the smirk that Kyungsoo couldn’t prevent from forming is a clear indicator of Kyungsoo’s triumph over Yixing. The challenger wins, it seems. Then, Kyungsoo supposes he’s entitled to more teasing. “And that reason is y–”

"Kyungsoo, I would kindly ask you to not talk about this ever again in the future."

"–ou– Why… not?" Kyungsoo asks, words tapering off into silence as genuine confusion washes over him at Yixing's unexpected reply. It was serious, curt, and if Kyungsoo weren't Yixing's friend, he would have launched himself at the young man for his impolite tone. Kyungsoo remains on his futon, thankfully, having enough self-restraint (and love for his only best friend) not to land a punch. Instead, he _tries_ to be calm as he smiles and says, “I think it’s cute, them following you—or Chanyeol, if you care about technicalities—around.”

Yixing’s reply comes swiftly, and Kyungsoo frowns at the same curtness in Yixing’s tone of voice. “It is not cute, they are not cute, and you know _exactly_ why I asked of you to not speak of this.” An afterthought. “Kyungsoo.”

They stare at each other for a few moments, gaze intensifying with every passing second as neither backs down from the unsaid challenge. Kyungsoo, however, suddenly falters. His gaze drops with his eyes, as he chooses to back down. And he does that because he knows exactly _why_ Yixing is asking of him never to mention, talk about, or even _imply_ that he has the attention of someone (or some _ones_ ) other than Kyungsoo himself. It is a… belief of Yixing’s that Kyungsoo has never gotten round to understanding, because to him, it’s not a big deal if a servant garners attention, _positive_ attention of course, from others. If anything, that only means that the person must possess something that is appealing to others.

Yixing is plenty appealing. Twelve years with this best friend of his from _Jungguk_ has Kyungsoo discovering most—never all because Yixing is full of never-ending surprises—of the young man’s traits. He would not delve into them right now (for the sake of not digressing), but just know that Zhang Yixing is someone who deserves everything the world has to offer.

For Kyungsoo, the most valuable thing that he can offer to his amazing best friend is that of freedom.

“Yixing, I have told you countless times that you will not be serving me for the rest of your life. There will come a day when I will release you and set you free to do whatever your beautiful and kind heart wishes.” Kyungsoo snaps his eyes back up, looks straight into Yixing’s eyes. “You know this, Yixing, you _know_ this.”

And Yixing does because exasperation washes over him and rearranges his countenance. His tone is once again curt when he says, "And how many times have _I_ told _you_ , Kyungsoo, that I am not willing to be set free.” Yixing clenches his fist and places it on his chest, over his heart. “It is my duty to serve in the Do family until my death as gratitude for saving my worthless life all those years ago.”

 _Worthless? Is your life worthless?_ Kyungsoo wants to scoff. Wants to break into a possibly never-ending spiel that would be titled ‘Zhang Yixing: The Priceless’. Yixing’s life is worthless? As if anyone would believe.

Sadly, Yixing does. “My answer remains the same, as it has been for the past ten years. Where you go, Yixing will go. I will follow you, serve you, and be with you until one of us decides to part with this world.”

Despite having heard that several times over the past decade, after eight-year-old Kyungsoo realised that he had the authority to set Yixing free, it doesn't get any easier to hear it every time.

“You know this, Soo, you _know_ this.”

Regrettingly, Kyungsoo does. And it hurts him so, so much to know that Yixing has such a thought— _no, it’s not a thought; it’s a vow_ —at this still-rather early stage of his life. Is this a common thing that goes through servants' minds every day? Kyungsoo may be a servant now (albeit in name), but he will never gain the mind of one. That pains him, too, because he knows that Yixing deserves so much more than what he believes he does.

Kyungsoo doesn’t want to reply Yixing. He lies back down onto his futon and roughly hefts the blanket up to his chin—the stifling weather be damned. With his lips tightly pursed and eyes closed, Kyungsoo attempts to sleep. He feels Yixing’s eyes on him, that familiar heat roving over his face. Kyungsoo refuses to open his eyes. He has nothing more to say.

This is not pettiness. This is Kyungsoo backing down, retreating in order to battle another day. Not that he wishes to quarrel with Yixing again, but as long as his friend believes that his place is beside him for the rest of his “worthless” life, Kyungsoo will fight with all his might to destroy that ridiculous belief.

Darkness engulfs the room after Yixing gets up and puts out the burning candle. Silence follows shortly, when Yixing seems to have positioned himself comfortably on his futon and stops squirming. All is quiet, and while Kyungsoo would have immediately drifted off to dreamland should such tranquillity befall upon them, he doesn't do that tonight. He opens his eyes, stares at the inky darkness that fills his vision. In the silence, his and Yixing's breathing are all Kyungsoo hears for who-knows-how-long until Yixing suddenly speaks.

“Don’t let him get too attached to you.”

Kyungsoo turns his head in Yixing’s direction. “Huh?”

“You’re a servant now, Soo, not Young Master Do. You... should not confuse Chanyeol anymore than you already have.”

There was a bout of hesitation there, in Yixing’s words. Kyungsoo doesn’t understand. “Confuse? How am I confusing–”

“You’re a _servant_. Chanyeol knows of you as his servant.”

“I know that. What I’m not getting is why you’re saying that.”

Yixing groans, the sound amplified in the deafening silence. “Think, Soo, _think_. Him following you around must mean something.”

Kyungsoo’s brows furrow. “I– I don’t– I–” Then, it dawns on him, and furrowed brows immediately ease apart as eyes blow wide. “Wait, Xing. Are you saying that–”

“Yes. Probably. It’s a possibility.”

Mouth open, Kyungsoo is momentarily at a loss of what to say. But his mind seems to be awfully efficient today, processing the information quickly and making Kyungsoo blurt out, “We are in trouble, aren’t we.”

“I... suppose we are,” Yixing softly says, his tone petulantly timid as though he’s a child being reprimanded for doing something wrong. “We can’t... continue like this. Not when we think that he has probably developed... feelings, feelings beyond the boundaries of friendship for you—the _servant_ you.”

Kyungsoo's efficient mind registers Yixing's words and gets right to processing them. Its conclusion is that Yixing is right. They cannot continue while pretending that everything will be fine at the end and that nothing will change after Kyungsoo and Yixing leave. Servant Kyungsoo may be the same person as Young Master Kyungsoo, but Chanyeol doesn't know that. He does, however, know that relationships between master and servant are taboo and severely looked down upon. It has never been heard of because such a relationship is shameful, shameful, _shameful_. Apprehension seeps into Kyungsoo now that he’s realised what he has accidentally done. He didn’t mean to, never once harboured the thought of Chanyeol having feelings for him because right now he’s only but a mere servant.

But then again, this is Park Chanyeol he’s talking about. This is the young master who eats with his servants. Who talks, laughs, and jokes with them as though they are friends. Who doesn’t think of anyone as lesser than him, and regards everyone as an equal.

They should have known. Kyungsoo should have been more careful. He never wanted Chanyeol to be like this, but now that he might be, Kyungsoo has to take care not to let him _feel_ even more. He’s not going to let his _yakhonja_ be subjected to the public’s scorn and wrath should any rumour slip under the front doors of the Park household. Chanyeol doesn’t deserve that. He’s innocent.

Kyungsoo is the one who’s doing wrong.

And as he lies in his futon, with Yixing’s breathing gradually becoming heavy as he falls asleep, Kyungsoo thinks.

Thinks if it’s time to go home.

 

\---

 

The suspicion about Chanyeol that Kyungsoo and Yixing talked about that night seems to be true.

It has been a week since they thought of that possibility, and both Kyungsoo and Yixing have been observing Chanyeol to figure out if it could be true. While there haven’t been any proof or evidence that would _strongly_ suggest as such, there have been many others that, unfortunately, do point in that direction. Besides following Kyungsoo around most of the time, Chanyeol has been dragging his stool to sit with Kyungsoo during meals, though, his attempts to strike up conversations were mercilessly shut down. Chanyeol has also been expressing his concerns about the state of his servants’ quarters. He brought in workers to fix up the entire structure and its rooms within. Chanyeol even purchased new beddings to replace the ones that Kyungsoo, Yixing, Baekhyun, and Sehun have been using (perfectly fine without complaint).

Yixing had wondered if Mistress Park knew how her son had spent money this… dumbly. Though, all these just go to show that Chanyeol, perhaps, really do have feelings for Kyungsoo.

And, now that Kyungsoo, who was informed to show up at the _maehwa namu_ at _hae shi_ , is sitting next to Chanyeol under the tree, he’s certain, _extremely_ certain that he is being liked by his young master. The trembling hand of Kyungsoo’s that Chanyeol’s got enveloped in his own is all the evidence he needs.

“Firstly, thank you for showing up, Soo,” Chanyeol says, slowly, softly. There is no hesitation in his tone, but Kyungsoo thinks he hears nervousness and, what do you know, Kyungsoo begins to feel nervous as well. He’s afraid of what’s about to come, because Kyungsoo’s gut is telling him that Chanyeol is about to confess.  

“It’s not like I couldn’t say no and not turn up,” says Kyungsoo matter-of-factly. That is the truth, though, the cold, hard truth. He’s a servant. There’s no way Kyungsoo could have rejected his young master, even if Chanyeol had all but stammered out _u-uh could you meet me at the_ maehwa namu _before y-your bedtime, Soo?_

Upon hearing Kyungsoo’s not-in-the-least-minced reply, Chanyeol winces. “That’s true, but… Anyway.” He suddenly perks up, eyes lighting up and the corners of his lips shoot upwards. The way Chanyeol is looking at Kyungsoo reminds him of Yixing’s words.

_Chanyeol sure looks like a puppy to me._

Ugh, Zhang Yixing.

Shoving that thought to the back of his mind, Kyungsoo refocuses on Chanyeol. He feels the grip on his hand tightening a little and Kyungsoo glances down. He shouldn’t be thinking this, he _really_ shouldn’t be thinking this but the way his hand looks so small compared to Chanyeol’s is actually rather... cute. Kyungsoo finds himself about to smile, but immediately catches himself and forces the corners of his lips to stay neutral. _Remember_ , he thinks, _don’t do anything that would cause Chanyeol to fall even more._

“I… think that I was obvious enough these past few weeks. So you should kind of know why I called you out here.” Raising a hand to the back of his neck, Chanyeol starts to rub at it. It’s clear that he’s embarrassed. Oh dear, Kyungsoo’s fear is about to be realised.

Chanyeol brings his hand back down, placing it over the small hand he already has in his other hand. He lifts his head, and at that moment Kyungsoo wonders if it's already morning. Because the sun is sitting right in front of him. There is a sun in the body of a young master, whose face is dazzling, whose eyes are shining so brightly, and whose smile is so, so radiant. Chanyeol is blinding, and Kyungsoo is the blinded.

And Kyungsoo _is_ so blinded that he doesn’t register anything until he feels warmth on his forehead. He snaps out in time to see Chanyeol’s lips move, to hear Chanyeol’s voice say.

“Soo, I like you.”

It is as though Chanyeol’s words are bombs. Bombs that he planted in Kyungsoo, in which he holds the ignition key and Chanyeol has just pressed on it to ignite them. Kyungsoo feels that he’s under attack, that his chest is being assaulted, that his heart has exploded.

Chanyeol’s sentence holds the three words Kyungsoo has always wanted to hear from his _yakhonja_. Even before finding out his name, or knowing how he looked like, Kyungsoo has always wished to be confessed to like this. In a quiet location, with the night sky and twinkling stars looking down. Under a tree (doesn’t have to be _maehwa_ ), with his loved one seated next to him. Their bodies irrevocably close, hands intertwined, foreheads resting against each other’s.

Hearts beating as one.

Kyungsoo has always dreamt of a scene like this. And as he slowly looks up and into Chanyeol’s bright bright bright eyes, Kyungsoo wonders if he’s dreaming. Because Chanyeol just confessed to him. Chanyeol has just confessed to him. _Chanyeol has just confessed to–_

_The servant me._

It’s instant. The realisation and disappointment. They hit Kyungsoo hard. And, all of a sudden, Chanyeol’s eyes don’t look that bright anymore. His face isn’t that dazzling, his smile not that radiant. It’s night, not morning. There’s no sun sitting in front of him. There’s only Chanyeol, Young Master Park Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo drops his eyes, shuts them in resignation. The elation that was in him only but seconds before has completely vanished, leaving behind disappointment and pain. It hurts. It hurts Kyungsoo to know, to admit to himself that Chanyeol didn’t confess to him. He confessed to _Soo_.

Right from when he sat down next to Chanyeol and allowed his hand to be held, Kyungsoo should have prepared himself. But he knew. Kyungsoo knew that no amount of preparation would ever be sufficient to withstand the impact of realising all along that he, Young Master Do Kyungsoo, isn't the person Chanyeol would be confessing to tonight. Kyungsoo shouldn't be disappointed, but he is.

Chanyeol, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have picked up on Kyungsoo's abrupt change in mood. "I like you, Soo, a whole lot," he continues to say. "I don't know when it started, but I found myself looking at you more, searching for you more, wanting to spend more time with you. And I know that this whole setup is unbefitting of my age but I just– I just wanted to let you know."

Kyungsoo feels Chanyeol’s breath peppering his lips each time he spoke. The sensation drives him crazy, and Kyungsoo is constantly reminding himself to _don’t do anything don’t do anything don’t you dare to do anything Do Kyungsoo_. It’s killing him. Kyungsoo wants so much to _do_ something, but he can't. He absolutely can't, and it's killing him.

Chanyeol still has his forehead resting against Kyungsoo’s, both hands still gently holding onto one of Kyungsoo’s own. “But there is something I have to tell you. Something that only you know. I haven’t even told Baekhyun and Sehun about this.” He inhales, exhales.

“I’m engaged.”

Breath hitches in Kyungsoo's throat. It lodges there, rendering Kyungsoo unable to breathe until he pulls away from Chanyeol and coughs, and coughs, and coughs. The hand that makes its way onto his back follows the pattern of Kyungsoo's own on his chest, thumping, thumping, thumping. The lodged breath ‘slips out' out of Kyungsoo's mouth, and in the next second, he's inhaling quickly and shallowly.

“Deep breaths, Soo, not short ones,” Chanyeol gently chides. “Come, follow me. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.”

Kyungsoo follows without preamble, and it’s only after he’s regained regularity in his breathing does he suddenly wonder if that is because he’s used to heeding Chanyeol’s instructions and orders without questioning him. It’s dangerous, this no-questions-asked reflex of his. Kyungsoo has to remember that he’s not a servant.

Chanyeol lets out a sigh of relief. “Phew, at least you’re breathing again. But I can’t guarantee that you won’t be mad at me for what I’m about to tell you.” The expression on Chanyeol’s face seems pitiful, as though he’s a child who was wrongly reproached.

“I am engaged to another from one of the neighbouring villages,” Chanyeol begins to explain. “My _yakhonja_ … I have never seen them. I do not know their name, their gender, their appearance. I don't know which village they reside in, or how old they may be. I requested not to be told anything about them, thinking that I would be better off not knowing until the day of our marriage." He looks up at Kyungsoo. "Do you think it's dumb?"

He can’t run. Can’t escape from Chanyeol’s searching gaze. So, Kyungsoo answers. Shaking his head, he says, “No, I don’t think it’s dumb. I think it’s alright to not know anything, because if you don’t know anything about that person, then you wouldn’t expect anything from that person either.”

“Precisely.” Chanyeol’s voice is breathy, but it expressed the delight bubbling within its owner. There is a smile on Chanyeol’s face. “You understand where I’m coming from, right, Soo?”

Does he? Does Kyungsoo understand? He doesn’t know the answer to that right now.

“It is precisely because I don’t know a thing about my _yakhonja_ that I am able to develop feelings for you. You’re someone I know things about. Things that I see every day. Things that made me like you.” Chanyeol holds both of Kyungsoo’s hands this time; Kyungsoo doesn’t resist.

“While I do actually feel guilty towards my _yakhonja_ , as I shouldn’t have such feelings for someone else other than them, it doesn’t hurt me as much as I thought it would. The guilt isn’t as overwhelming or as overbearing, and because of that, my feelings for you could grow safely.”

 _It’s night_ , Kyungsoo tells himself. It isn’t morning. There’s no sun sitting in front of him. Young Master Chanyeol’s face isn’t dazzling, his eyes aren’t bright, his smile not radiant. Chanyeol isn’t the sun that Kyungsoo loves. He’s his young master, someone that he, as _Soo_ , shouldn’t love. It’s the truth, the cold, hard truth that everyone knows. Including Chanyeol. But it seems that he might have forgotten, _chosen_ to forget. Kyungsoo is reluctant, but he thinks Chanyeol ought to be reminded.

“But we would never be anything, Chanyeol.”

It’s instant. The realisation and disappointment. They seem to have hit Chanyeol hard. And, all of a sudden, the light in Chanyeol disappears.

“You know that, don’t you? That you and I could never be anything.”

Chanyeol is in pain. His face has contorted. His brows are deeply furrowed, causing lines to appear on his forehead. His eyes are squeezed shut, tears beading at the corners. His cheeks are quivering, red. His lips are parted, trembling, breaths ragged and shallow, sobs gradually making their way out into the silence of the garden.

Kyungsoo is in pain. He’s in pain because Chanyeol is in pain. He’s in pain because Chanyeol has curled into himself, sobbing, repeating the words _I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry I’m so selfish to have feelings for you._

Kyungsoo is in a lot of pain. He's in a lot of pain because it shouldn't be this way. He's in _a lot_ of pain because Chanyeol apologised. Chanyeol didn't need to apologise; he has done nothing wrong. He's only liked someone (which, although, he shouldn't have liked), but liking someone is a right, and no one is allowed to take that away from anybody.

Being the one at fault, yet unable to say anything, Kyungsoo just offers the one comfort he can do right now to Chanyeol. Gently removing his hands from Chanyeol’s, Kyungsoo places them back onto Chanyeol’s lap. He places his own back onto his lap, too. Then, Kyungsoo goes still. He keeps quiet, doesn’t say anything.

Just lets the silence work its magic.

Kyungsoo looks up, eyes immediately resting on the leaves of the _maehwa namu_. _I’m sorry_ , he thinks, eyes darting all over as though he wants to apologise to each leaf. _I’m sorry that things had to turn out like this. I’m sorry that there was no other way. I’m sorry to have rejected your owner. I’m sorry to have made him sad._

_I’m sorry to have made him cry._

 

\---

 

Things seem to change after that.

As someone who’s gotten accustomed to having a Yixing, a Chanyeol, and a Baekhyun, as well as a Sehun, by his side ever since Chanyeol decided to follow him ~~like a puppy~~ , Kyungsoo is surprised to find himself not having a Chanyeol around him now.

On the first day of what Yixing had later termed “The Drifting Apart of You and Chanyeol” (TDAOYAC), Kyungsoo had attributed Chanyeol’s absence to his young master, perhaps, having matters to attend to. Chanyeol, after all, followed in his father’s footsteps and had successfully passed the _gwageo_ to be a civil servant. Now that Kyungsoo has taken time to think about it, he realised that he doesn’t know what Chanyeol does as a civil servant. He hasn’t once seen Chanyeol leave for court or to wherever his duties require him to be. Kyungsoo is a little disappointed at himself for that, not knowing what his _yakhonja_ does for a living.

On the second, third, fourth, and subsequent days that follow, Kyungsoo is increasingly finding it hard to attribute Chanyeol’s absence to him being busy. Both Baekhyun and Sehun are still following him around, though Kyungsoo is pretty certain by now that they aren’t here on Chanyeol’s instructions, but because of _a certain someone_. Yixing is not amused, but the tiny smiles that Kyungsoo catches on the young man’s face throughout the days say otherwise. Kyungsoo’s face, however, may hold several smiles, too, throughout the days, but whenever he feels Chanyeol’s absence, _sees_ Chanyeol’s absence, the smiles easily slip off.

Kyungsoo knows that a grey cloud has been floating above his head, and he knows that it's not going to go away anytime soon.

Even though he gets to see Chanyeol during dinners, Kyungsoo wishes he didn't have to go through that meal. Not only has Chanyeol stopped being around Kyungsoo, but he has also made it a point to not speak to him and sit with him. During dinner of the first day of "TDAOYAC", Chanyeol had pointedly chosen to sit with his mother. Everyone was shocked, but they all knew better than to ask. At that time, Kyungsoo couldn't register anything, but when dinner ended, and Yixing had dragged him back to their shared quarters, Kyungsoo realised that he hadn't felt angry. _He didn’t even feel surprised._ Was that him giving up? Was that him resigning to Chanyeol’s response?

_Is his avoidance of me his response to the fact that he and I could never be anything?_

“I’d say it is,” Yixing muses.

Kyungsoo opens his eyes and looks up at his best friend. The light emitted from the room’s only candle is gentle, and the lines of Yixing’s face look soft under the light. Kyungsoo finds himself staring at the dimple. “Why do you say that, Xing?”

A hand gently cards through Kyungsoo's hair then, and Kyungsoo hums contentedly. He shifts himself, wanting to be more comfortable in Yixing's lap. After positioning Yixing's arm over his chest where he hugs it with both of his arms, Kyungsoo looks back up at his best friend. A knowing expression greets him. Kyungsoo wants to groan.

“You know exactly why.” Yixing gently flicks Kyungsoo’s forehead with his available hand. He ignores Kyungsoo’s protest of pain to continue. “I like how Chanyeol is handling the matter, though. This might seem petulant, him avoiding you without telling you the reason but we know the reason anyway. While it may not be the _best_ way, it’s probably an effective way for Chanyeol to forget about you. Or at least _try_ to forget about you.”

"I apologise for being so irresistible," Kyungsoo grumbles jokingly, earning himself another flick on the forehead. He shrieks in pain again and takes to burying his face in Yixing's tummy. The softness of his _jeogori_ puts Kyungsoo at ease, though he hugs Yixing’s arm tighter. “I don’t like this at all, Xing. I don’t like how Chanyeol is avoiding me.”

He feels the sigh even before he hears it come from above him. A hand starts to card through his hair again, and Kyungsoo suddenly feels so tired, so exhausted. He wills himself to not break down, at least not in Yixing’s presence. His best friend doesn’t need to worry about him more than he already does. Feeling tears beginning to well up in his eyes, Kyungsoo shoves his head even deeper into the folds of Yixing’s _jeogori_.

"But you know he has to," says Yixing. His voice is unbelievably soft, light, and ever-so-gentle—it just spells _Yixing_ all over it, and Kyungsoo loves hearing it. That's no surprise, for whenever he's met with setbacks, it isn't his mother, Seungsoo, or his grandfather who dries his tears and comforts him every time. And, frankly, if not for everyone knowing of his engagement or if society hadn't condemned relationships between master and servant, Kyungsoo thinks that no one would be surprised if one day he were to announce that he's going to marry Yixing. Because it's a fact that he might love Yixing even more than his blood-related family.

That is why Kyungsoo has always firmly believed in letting Yixing go when the time comes because he loves him and he's not going to cage his beloved, free-spirited bird forever. It must fly away one day. Yixing has to spread his wings and leave one day.

In response to Yixing, Kyungsoo just shakes his head. He doesn’t say a thing, knows that his words would be muffled by Yixing’s _jeogori_ , and Yixing would be able to understand his action anyway. Those twelve years of being together aren’t for naught.

Yixing is still carding his hand through Kyungsoo’s hair, fingertips gently grazing scalp and Kyungsoo can’t help but purr in pleasure. A smile automatically forms on his face as he patiently waits for Yixing’s reply, knowing that he will get one after Yixing carefully thinks through. For now, he’s content—head pillowed on Yixing’s lap, face buried comfortably in Yixing’s freshly-washed _jeogori_. The scent of the soap that the Park family uses for all their laundry—honey—fills Kyungsoo's nose when he inhales. The scent momentarily throws him off, and Kyungsoo can't help but want to smell the one scent he's come to recognise and love.

“Well, then what do you propose you do? If you don’t like Chanyeol avoiding you.”

Yixing’s reply is what Kyungsoo has expected. Having already thought of an answer, Kyungsoo moves his face out of Yixing’s _jeogori_ and shifts his head to look up at Yixing. The lines of his face are still soft under the candlelight. “I don’t know if you could see it, but Chanyeol was in pain.” Kyungsoo hugs Yixing’s arm even hard _er_. “During all those dinners, although he wasn’t facing or looking at me, I could feel it. I felt pain, _his_ pain that he kept hidden. I don't know how I felt that, but I did." Kyungsoo inhales.

“Chanyeol is in pain, Xing, because of me.”

His vision was already blurry by then, tears having formed and welled up in his eyes while he was talking. A blink of his eyes was enough to open the floodgates, and Kyungsoo finds himself unable to stop. His face is immediately buried back into Yixing’s _jeogori_ , and Yixing’s hand resumes carding through his hair. They stay like for a time duration that Kyungsoo knows not how long, but when he emerges for fresh, cool air, Kyungsoo realises that the room is in darkness. The candle has burnt out.

Like Kyungsoo.

As with the candle, which probably doesn't exist now, Kyungsoo is burnt out. He thinks he's had enough of this. He's had enough of causing misery to others, doesn't want to put anyone through any more misery. Especially Chanyeol, the one person Kyungsoo hasn't expected to even have _anything_ for him. It was supposed to be a simple undercover mission of sorts. Yet, it escalated into this angst-filled, melodramatic play of sorts. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It really wasn't.

Suddenly, an unbelievably soft, light, and an ever-so-gentle voice rings out in the darkness. "So, what do you want to do, Soo? What do you want to do now?"

A single thought surfaces in his head. It’s that same thought that popped into Kyungsoo’s head that night the two of them were discussing— _what a coincidence_ —Chanyeol. It's the thought that has been swimming in his head ever since, and now that Kyungsoo is outrightly asked of what he wants to do, he finds himself entertaining that thought. Then, moments later, he whispers.

“I want to go home.”

“Okay. When?”

“... Soon? Let’s go home soon, Xing, okay?”

 

\---

 

 _Maehwa_ and earth.

The familiar scent hits Kyungsoo the moment he sees Chanyeol. Immediately halting his footsteps, Kyungsoo stands a couple of feet away, dirt motes rising due to his _hwa_ ’s sudden stop. He should have expected it, this twisted game fate plays with people. Of all the days where Kyungsoo doesn’t take the path that goes past the _maehwa namu_ , Chanyeol just _has_ to be there on the day Kyungsoo decides to do so.

Well played, fate. Well played.

Deep down, Kyungsoo knows that this day would arrive. After almost two weeks of not having any form of contact with his young master, Kyungsoo thinks it's about time fate arranges for them to meet. Not that he's a believer in fate and all those superstition stuff, but Kyungsoo's mother has lectured Kyungsoo more than enough times for him to at least sufficiently know about these stuff. Mistress Do's favourite saying is this: "What's supposed to happen, will happen." _Well_ , Kyungsoo supposes, _this is one of them_.

With a resigned sigh, Kyungsoo resumes walking. He keeps his steps small and silent, having guessed, after squinting and looking at Chanyeol's face, that Chanyeol could be, for the nth number of time, sleeping under the tree. It's hard, walking silently since he has a basket of dried, folded garments in his arms. But, Kyungsoo tries.

He makes a mistake. Kyungsoo doesn’t know why. Doesn’t know why he paused in front of the _maehwa namu_ , in front of Chanyeol. Doesn't know why he's turning, why he's setting the basket down onto the ground. Doesn't know why he's squatting down, taking care not to rustle his _durumagi_ too much. Doesn’t know why he’s resting his chin on the knuckle he has propped on his bent knees. Doesn’t know why the corners of his lips are twitching, why they’re slowly rising as a smile forms. Doesn’t know why contentment bubbles within his body, why happiness courses through his blood.

Doesn’t know why he ignored his brain and listened to his heart.

Chanyeol is indeed, as Kyungsoo has guessed, sleeping. He looks just like any other time Kyungsoo has chanced upon him snoozing under the _maehwa namu_. Chanyeol also— _oh_ —looks just like how Kyungsoo had seen him for the very first time. He had been sleeping then, too, on his bed when Kyungsoo had entered his quarters without permission. (Well, Chanyeol will never need to know that bit.)

Innocent.

Innocent is the word Kyungsoo would use to describe Chanyeol's sleeping countenance. He may be twenty-seven years old, but when he's asleep, innocence appears and masks his age. If Kyungsoo hadn't known, he would have definitely assumed Chanyeol to be of the same age or, perhaps, only one or two years older. He would not have assumed Chanyeol to be a whopping nine years older. _Yes_ , Young Master Park does indeed look that young. But only when he is asleep. Or, when he's smiling and laughing.

With his eyes focused on the way Chanyeol’s chest rises and falls with every breath he takes, Kyungsoo finds himself listening to Chanyeol’s soft breathing. The world seems to be at a standstill, as though it only contains him, Chanyeol, and the _maehwa namu_.

Just when Kyungsoo is about to slip into a daze, eyes having darted up to take in Chanyeol’s innocent sleeping face as a whole, it happens. Again.

A dry sob. It begins with a dry sob, as it had the previous time Kyungsoo witnessed Chanyeol having nightmares. There is a crying expression on Chanyeol’s face, but things are different this time.

 _Very_ different.

For Chanyeol is crying. He's crying, tears beading at the corners of his eyes. The droplets are small and should have stayed welled at Chanyeol's eyes, but the fact that they are rapidly forming and gathering at the corners causes droplet after droplet to be pushed out and off, where they streak down the sides of Chanyeol's face and drip onto his _durumagi_.

Chanyeol’s sobs are no longer dry. His whimpers, unlike the previous time, are audible. Loud, even. Chanyeol is crying out the same words as before: _don’t do it don’t do that don’t_. And Kyungsoo knows that his _yakhonja_ is dreaming about the same thing as he had previously. It hurts to know that Chanyeol has recurrent nightmares, and Kyungsoo wonders how long has _this_ nightmare been haunting Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo’s hands have been cupping Chanyeol’s face since that first dry sob rang out, making sure that Chanyeol’s head is unable to loll. Kyungsoo is learning from experience. He still feels at a loss, still thinks he hasn’t had enough chances to know what to do at a time like this, but Kyungsoo _knows_ what he can do. He’s going to wake Chanyeol up.

The gentle calls of Chanyeol's name accompany the light shakes of Chanyeol's head and slaps on Chanyeol's face. They don't work; Chanyeol is still asleep. Kyungsoo tries to go closer, but Chanyeol's actions aren't helping. He's still sobbing, crying out the same words over and over. His fingers have begun to scrabble at his sides, nails scraping into the earth.

Kyungsoo is in pain, hurting from having to see Chanyeol like this for the second time. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts–

“Don’t.”

Kyungsoo freezes, eyes immediately snapping up to Chanyeol’s face from where they have been roving across his chest. He expects more words, but there is none. Chanyeol has just said a monosyllabic word for the first time. It’s strange.

“Kill.”

If Kyungsoo's eyes were large before, now they're larger. He stares at Chanyeol, hard, unable to believe what he's just heard. Albeit extremely provocative, it's another monosyllabic word with no follow-up. This just keeps getting stranger. Kyungsoo doesn't know what's happening, what's going on in Chanyeol's head.

“Don’t kill them. Don’t kill them. Don’t kill them. _Don’t kill them!_ ”

And the litany starts again. Chanyeol regresses to his cries of repeated words, this time being _don’t kill them don’t kill them don’t kill them_. His words send utter chills down Kyungsoo’s spine, causing him to shudder inexplicably. The silence of their location doesn’t help, and Kyungsoo begins to _fear_. Chanyeol’s behaviour and words are scaring him, and no matter how many times Kyungsoo calls his name, shakes his head, slaps his cheeks, Chanyeol does not wake. He didn’t even _stir_.

Then, just as quickly Chanyeol regressed to the litany of words, he progresses to monosyllabic words again.

“Sorry.”

Now Chanyeol is apologising. Kyungsoo can’t wrap his head around Chanyeol’s behaviour, his nightmare. _Just what is he dreaming about? How horrific is his nightmare if the word ‘kill’ is mentioned? And people… died in his nightmare? How many? And how? How did the peop–_

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol’s _durumagi_ must be really wet by now; Kyungsoo’s sleeves are, since his hands are on Chanyeol’s face and his tears have been sliding down Kyungsoo’s hands and forearms instead. Yet, Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed all that. He’s been looking at Chanyeol, fear increasing with each of Chanyeol’s pained cry of apology. His face is contorted into an expression that Kyungsoo has never seen in his entire life. It’s awful, _fucking awful_ , and Kyungsoo never wants to see this expression on any face ever again.

Every facial feature on Chanyeol's face is squeezed together, converging towards the middle, towards his nose. It's as though someone messed up a clay product and, out of anger, crush it up and squeezes it back into a ball. Kyungsoo feels repulsed looking at it.

But he can’t look away. He hasn’t got a choice. It’s Chanyeol. It’s his _yakhonja_. It's the first person he has come to love. Kyungsoo can't look away, can't escape. And he would never, even if he was given a chance to. He wouldn't–

“Save.”

Regress. Chanyeol’s litany of _I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry_ is over.

“Save them.”

Progress.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save them. I’m sorry I couldn’t save them–”

Regres–

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save him.”

– _wait_.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t save him.”

There’s no regression. Chanyeol is speaking different sentences.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t save them, didn’t save him.”  
   
_The thing is_ , Kyungsoo thinks as he stares disbelievingly at Chanyeol (and his awful expression), _who is he apologising to?_

“I’m sorry I watched them die, watched him die.”

 _Him?_ Kyungsoo gets the ‘them', assumes that people have died in Chanyeol's nightmare but who is this ‘him'? What is so special about this person that Chanyeol had to specifically _define_?

Kyungsoo wants answers. So, he calls Chanyeol louder, shakes Chanyeol harder. He doesn’t slap Chanyeol anymore, though, doesn’t want to inflict more pain on him. Kyungsoo is in plenty of pain himself, too, and doesn’t think he can hang on much longer. This has gone on far too long. Chanyeol has to wake up. _Now._

“Chanyeol, wake up. You’ve got to wake up now. Chan–”

“ _Abanim._ ”

Huh? Father? Whose father? Is Chanyeol calling out his–

“I’m sorry I watched your _abanim_ die–

–father–

“–my _yakhonja_.”

 

\---

 

“Soo?”

The barely-audible _clack_ of the doors shutting coincides with the call of Kyungsoo’s servant name, and Kyungsoo turns to find Sehun walking towards him. There is a basket in his arms. Kyungsoo recognises that basket—it’s the one he was carrying.

“Why was this basket left under the _maehwa namu_?”

Kyungsoo bows his head a little to acknowledge Sehun, an action that he always does despite the older man having told him to _dispense with the formalities_. Kyungsoo couldn’t because it goes against his principles. But Sehun is a surprisingly stubborn young man, and so Kyungsoo compromises, only bowing when Sehun is alone.

“I had to carry Chanyeol back to his quarters. He was…” Kyungsoo hesitates, unsure if he should tell Sehun of Chanyeol’s nightmare. It seems to be a private matter, and Kyungsoo doesn’t know if Chanyeol would like how he’s going around (not really) telling everyone (technically, it’s only Sehun right now) about his nightmare. Yet, Kyungsoo suddenly remembers who Sehun is. Sehun is one of the two persons who have been with Chanyeol for over a decade, and they’re best friends who would tell one another _everything_. Both Baekhyun and Sehun should have known long ago, Chanyeol having nightmares. Hence, Kyungsoo decides to speak the truth.

“He was in distress. He had a nightmare.”

The scowl that instantly forms on Sehun’s face is murderous. His expression is dark, eyes stormy. Kyungsoo has never seen the young man like this. It scares him.

“Those nightmares will be the death of him one day, I swear.”

Oh. So Sehun _does_ indeed know of Chanyeol’s nightmares. That would mean that Baekhyun should know, too.

“It’s been so many years, he should have stopped having them,” Sehun growls, eyes looking straight at Kyungsoo; Kyungsoo forces himself to not cower or squeak. “But then again, who are we kidding? If the medication didn’t work, what else would?”

“M-Medication?”

“Yes,” Sehun snaps, but upon seeing the semi-frightened expression on Kyungsoo’s face, he quickly apologises. “Sorry, that was rude of me.” The dark expression on Sehun’s face slips off, and exasperation replaces it. “Chanyeol used to take medication to curb the nightmares, but now he doesn’t because he’s older and because the medicine didn’t help much. Useless physicians.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he likes the exasperated look, thinks that both darkness and exasperation are equally undeserving to be defining Sehun’s (good-looking) face.

"It only worked when Chanyeol was young, and on consecutive nights which, according to the former servants who served Chanyeol, were aplenty. Before Baekhyun and I came to work in this family, Chanyeol, apparently, has nightmares every single night."

Even though Kyungsoo already has a hunch about the cause of and the content of Chanyeol's nightmares, he still wants confirmation. Cautiously, he asks, "What… caused those nightmares?"

But, as soon as Kyungsoo finished his question, a guarded expression flits onto Sehun’s face. “I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, Soo, but it’s… not my story to tell. You would have to ask Chanyeol.”

Oh. Okay. That makes sense. Sehun is a good friend who guards his friend and young master's secret with care. Kyungsoo promptly gives up, not wanting to put Sehun into an awkward spot.

“Then… would you be able to tell me when did those nightmares first appeared?”

The guarded expression vanishes. “That, I can.” Sehun nods, then a thoughtful expression flits onto his face. Seconds later, he firmly says, “Since he was nine years old.”

The breath that Kyungsoo was supposed to exhale hitches when he registers that information. _Nine_ … His eyes go wide.

“Almost eighteen years ago.”

 

\---

 

“Soo! Are you alright?”

The instant Kyungsoo steps into his shared room with Yixing and closes the doors behind him, he’s being pulled into a tight hug by his best friend.

“I’m alright,” Kyungsoo replies, hands coming up to push himself slightly away from Yixing. He remains in his best friend’s arms, though, because he wants to. He _needs_ to. Kyungsoo kind of needs Yixing’s familiar warmth right now.

With his arms still securely wrapped around Kyungsoo, Yixing slowly walks them to where their futons have been laid out on the floor. Settling down against the wall, Yixing pulls Kyungsoo down onto his lap. "I heard that you went to see Mistress Park." He gives his best friend an inquisitive look. "Why did you visit her, Soo?"

Kyungsoo looks away, chooses to shift himself to accommodate his head to rest comfortably on Yixing's shoulder. He nuzzles his nose against Yixing's neck, and giggles when Yixing squirms at the action. Kyungsoo placates him by tightening his arms around his friend's waist. "Chanyeol had a nightmare again today."

“Nightmare? What do you mean ‘nightmare’?” Yixing asks. “And, wait. Again? Are you saying that Chanyeol has had nightmares before?”

Kyungsoo nods. “This isn’t the first time I’ve seen him having one, but it’s the first time I heard him say more than just a string of repeated words.” He moves his face closer to Yixing’s neck, buries his nose into the juncture of Yixing’s neck and shoulder. “People were killed in his nightmare, Xing.”

A gasp. “Chanyeol dreamt that people were… killed?” Yixing hugs Kyungsoo tighter, pulls him even closer as though he was afraid of Kyungsoo being taken away from him. “How… do you know all these? How did Chanyeol act when he was having the nightmare?”

Kyungsoo tells him. Explains to Yixing everything. While explaining, he feels Yixing hugging him even tight _er_ , pulls him even clos _er_ , and Kyungsoo is glad that Yixing is doing so. He’s relieved that Yixing senses his uneasiness without him voicing it out. Kyungsoo gets to the part where Chanyeol mentioned _my yakhonja_ , and his brain makes a split second decision not to tell Yixing. Not yet. So, Kyungsoo skips that last bit and ends his entire explanation. He gently pulls his head out from under Yixing's chin and looks up at him before apologising sincerely, "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you after I saw Chanyeol having a nightmare for the first time. I'm sorry, Xing."

Yixing shakes his head, dips it down to press his forehead against Kyungsoo’s. “You don’t have to apologise. You have your reasons for not wanting to tell me about your _yakhonja_ having such nightmares. There’s no need for apologies, Soo. Alright?” He gently rubs his nose with Kyungsoo’s.

"Thanks for understanding." Kyungsoo offers Yixing a small smile and earns himself a small, dimpled smile in return.

The soft, warm atmosphere doesn't last long, though, for Kyungsoo remembers the thing that they were discussing, and his mood immediately sours. A sombre expression form on his face. "But it's a fact that Chanyeol might have witnessed people being murdered."

“When did he start to have these nightmares?” Yixing asks, his tone careful yet concerned at the same time.

Kyungsoo bites on his lower lip, then releases it to answer, “According to Sehun, Chanyeol has been having nightmares since he was nine years old.” He glances up, sees a thoughtful expression on Yixing’s face and waits for Yixing to get it, to _suspect_.

Seconds later, he does. “That would be eighteen years ago, on the year you were born.” He looks down at Kyungsoo. “You can’t be thinking– No, it can’t be,” Yixing says, disbelief flooding his face and washing out the incredulity. “It can’t be. It just _can’t_ be this much of a coincidence.”

Kyungsoo knows that Yixing and he are on the same page now, and so he probes. "What are you suspecting, Xing?"

Yixing’s expression darkens, and just like Sehun’s, his eyes go stormy. “It can’t be this coincident.” His jaw hardens, lips pursing into a tight line and Kyungsoo knows that Yixing won’t be saying anything else.

“But what if it is? What if Chanyeol did–”

“It _can’t_ be.”

“Xing–”

“It just can’t. I don’t believ–”

“I asked Mistress Park.”

Yixing’s opened mouth closes. He pulls his face away a little, but still keeps his body pressed against Kyungsoo’s. “You… asked her? Why did you–”

“Because Chanyeol mentioned me. All those words, all those apologies were directed to his _yakhonja_.” Kyungsoo looks at Yixing, eyes not daring to blink in case Yixing thinks he’s lying. But why would he? Why would Kyungsoo _lie_ about this if the mention of his father’s death only inflicts pain on him? Kyungsoo wouldn’t do this to himself unless he had to. And he has to right now.

“And I’m his _yakhonja_.”

Yixing returns Kyungsoo's unblinking gaze. His brows are furrowed, eyes swirling with bits and pieces of confusion, disbelief, incredulity, and sadness. Kyungsoo is certain that two grey clouds are floating above their heads.

Seeing how Yixing is not making a move to speak, Kyungsoo decides to continue. “I went to Mistress Park and asked her just one question because I knew, like Sehun, she probably wouldn’t tell me what exactly happened to Chanyeol. She’d say that it wasn’t her story to tell. I respect that, so I only asked her one question and requested for her to answer with a _yes_ or a _no_.”

Kyungsoo suddenly feels that his lips are trembling. Suddenly realises that tears have begun to form and well at the corners of his eyes. Suddenly finds himself shaking in Yixing's arms. While Kyungsoo has always thought about his father, has him in his mind, this time is clearly different from the others. Those other times were of a Kyungsoo who has accepted the death of his father, having known what happened and how it happened. This time, however, is of a Kyungsoo who just discovered a new development in his father's death. A development that never would have crossed his mind, that never would have needed him to digest, absorb, and accept it. It's frightening, this reaction of his body to the mere thought of knowing something else that happened to his deceased father.

But Kyungsoo doesn’t have time for this reaction of his to blow over. Yixing is still waiting to find out, and Kyungsoo wants this to be over already. It’s been a long, arduous day, and Kyungsoo is so ready for it to be over.

And so, he forces himself to calm down, to recollect his composure. With a couple of inhales and exhales, Kyungsoo manages to. Then, he resumes. “I asked her: _Was Chanyeol really there at the scene of where those bandits murdered_ abanim _?_ ”

“What was her answer?”

Even though Kyungsoo knows that Yixing already has the answer, he still says it anyway.

“ _Yes_. She said yes, Chanyeol was at the scene and that he had watched _abanim_ and his servants die.”

Silence. Then, Kyungsoo is being pulled back into Yixing’s arms. “Oh, Soo.”

His arms immediately come up to wrap themselves tightly around Yixing’s back, fingers curling deep into the fabric of Yixing’s _jeogori_. Kyungsoo hooks his chin onto Yixing’s shoulder, moves his head until his ear touches the side of Yixing’s neck causing Yixing to squirm a little out of sensitivity.

“He saw _abanim_ die, Xing. Chanyeol saw _abanim_ die,” whispers Kyungsoo. Tears are spilling out of his eyes uncontrollably now, while his nose starts to get stuck with snot. His lips and chin are trembling even more, the opened mouth allowing droplets of tears to enter and his tongue tastes saltiness and bitterness.

“I want to know what happened, how exactly did _abanim_ die, when did he die—after everyone was killed or did he die protecting them—and what was Chanyeol doing when all that was happening.”

"But you know you can't," is Yixing's soft reply. He has a hand in Kyungsoo's hair, gently patting the back of Kyungsoo's head. It's a familiar, comforting action, one that Yixing always does whenever they're in each other's arms like now, bodies pressed so tightly together as though they've melded into one. "You know you would never be able to ask Chanyeol because you can't bear to."

Kyungsoo can only smile. He can only smile as he lets his torrent of tears soak through Yixing’s _jeogori_ , while Yixing's words sink down into his chest and settle uncomfortably near his heart. Yixing's right (as always). There's no way Kyungsoo can ask Chanyeol. It would only trigger those horrific memories of blood, of screams, of begs and pleas. Kyungsoo is not going to do that to Chanyeol, as if his recurring nightmares aren't enough torture, sufferance, and pain. Chanyeol doesn't need more. He really doesn't.

And who is Kyungsoo to ask Chanyeol anyway. He’s not Young Master Do now. He’s Soo the servant. He’s a nobody who shouldn’t know anything, much less want to know about things. He may be the servant whom Young Master Park has confessed to, but he’s _just a servant_. Chanyeol knows his priorities, his obligations. He’s learnt the norms of society, has been mercilessly told by Kyungsoo himself that they would amount to nothing.

That they _could_ only amount to nothing.

So how is Kyungsoo supposed to ask? His curiosity may be extremely demanding right now, but Kyungsoo has a conscience, has a brain, has a heart who loves his _yakhonja_. He’s not going to inflict more pain onto Chanyeol. Kyungsoo is not going to.

Instead, Kyungsoo is going to do this. He’s decided on it while walking back to his shared quarters with Yixing from Mistress Park’s _anbang_. He didn't actually weigh the pros and cons, didn't really pit them against one another. He just decided to do it because of a single point, and that point being Kyungsoo's love for Chanyeol.

His affection for Chanyeol has only grown throughout these couple of months of being here as an undercover servant. Having already achieved his only goal of finding out if his _yakhonja_ is a nice person, Kyungsoo is proud to announce that, _yes_ , his _yakhonja_ is indeed a nice person. There's nothing about Chanyeol that irks Kyungsoo (well, not a lot). Chanyeol's manners are impeccable (sometimes, though, he'd remark about how messily Kyungsoo grinds his inkstone), he eats nicely (sometimes, though, he'd accidentally drop grains of rice onto the ground), talks to people politely (sometimes, though, he'd suddenly raise his voice and escalate to chiding that person), deals with children wonderfully (sometimes, though, when they're out in the village market, and a child cries, he'd roll his eyes and comment on how he wishes he could stuff an apple in the child's mouth to shut them up), treats everyone equally (sometimes, though, he'd– _oh, there’s nothing bad about this point that I can mention_ ). It also helps that Chanyeol has an attractive face, an innocent sleeping visage, a stunning smile, adorable ears, and beautiful eyes.

Ultimately, Chanyeol is a sun, and Kyungsoo loves the sun.

Ironically, it was when Kyungsoo had, as always, unconsciously walked to the _maehwa namu_ did he realise then just how much he truly loves Chanyeol. While he may not always be nice and sometimes lets his bad side show through, Chanyeol is only human. And humans are flawed beings. Kyungsoo isn’t going to condemn Chanyeol because of that. No one is perfect, and that is why Kyungsoo allowed his love for Chanyeol to grow. His heart may feel full now, but Kyungsoo thinks it’s far from full. He’s only been with Chanyeol for months, and when he thinks about the _years_ that he would spend with Chanyeol after getting married, Kyungsoo _can’t wait_.

This is the reason why Kyungsoo has decided to do what he’s going to do. He loves Chanyeol, and he knows that he will marry Chanyeol and spend the rest of his life with him. There are many years ahead, many (hopefully) _happy_ years ahead. And Kyungsoo’s decision will secure that happy future.

“Xing, remember what we talked about the other time?”

“Yes?”

“I think it’s time.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Are you really certain?” Yixing asks.

“I’m certain, Xing.” Kyungsoo reiterates. A smile forms on his face. The smile doesn’t reach the corners of his eyes. A tear dislodges and rolls.

“It’s time to go home.”

 

\---

 

Life in the Dos’ household isn’t all that different from life back in the Parks’.

Apart from the promotion in status (which no one knows), and the increase in the quality of his _durumagi_ (which doesn’t bother Kyungsoo since _quality_ ), as well as changes in daily routine (Kyungsoo is upset that Yixing isn’t making him do chores), nothing else differs much in Servant Soo’s life.

Kyungsoo still sleeps on a futon, in which every night he joins his with Yixing’s—since Kyungsoo has arranged for Yixing to share his room with because he found himself unable to sleep without Yixing by his side—despite protests from his best friend ( _“We’re no longer servants! We shouldn’t be sharing a room anymore!”_ ). Although he doesn’t like it one bit, and think that it’s _still_ a really cheap move, Kyungsoo pits his status against Yixing's to effectively shut Yixing up, only to regret when Yixing's expression falls and Kyungsoo proceeds to placate his sullen (yet adorable) best friend. (And, of course, Yixing is never one to stay sad for long.)

Also, Kyungsoo has flora to admire. Having consulted the gardener in charge of Chan– _Young Master Park_ ’s garden—shockingly, it’s Baekhyun—Yixing has begun to work his learnt magic onto the flora in Kyungsoo’s garden. His _nancho_ , _gukhwa_ , and _baekhab_ seem to be prettier than before, their scents more potent and nice-smelling, and Kyungsoo is happy to see Yixing feeling delighted at his hard work.

Though, there’s something that Kyungsoo misses terribly. It’s a pity that his garden doesn’t have it. That _maehwa namu_ of Chan– _Young Master Park_.

But it’s alright. Kyungsoo has other things to feel happy about, to fill that gaping hole where the _maehwa namu_ used to occupy.

It’s strange, but Kyungsoo has somehow taken an inexplicably _huge_ liking to washing clothes. He doesn't know exactly why but he thinks he can attribute it to the fact that he's able to get out of his home compound and bask in the tranquillity of nature during the washing. It probably helps that Yixing is next to him, his beautiful dimpled smile becoming the highlight of his day now that he doesn't have the one stunning (and also dimpled) smile he's used to receiving.

This next bit isn't really all that strange to both Kyungsoo and Yixing, but it is to the rest of the Do family and servants. And that is the eating of meals together in front of the kitchens. Kyungsoo mentioned it to his grandfather when he was recollecting the many, many things that happened while he was at the Parks'. His grandfather had been surprised to hear that, and immediately instructed everyone to do so at the next meal. That day's dinner was beyond awkward, but Kyungsoo could tell that his family, as well as the servants, liked the idea. After a couple of days' meals later, everyone didn't feel as awkward as they were before. Yet, as he watched everyone, took in their smiles and laughs, Kyungsoo still felt as though something was missing. One look at Yixing's knowing expression was enough for Kyungsoo to realise just _who_ it was, and he promptly stopped thinking about it.

Kyungsoo doesn't like this bit, but months of being a servant and having to wake up at the crack of dawn have tuned Young Master Do's body clock, and no matter what he did, Kyungsoo has been unable to sleep past the end of _myo shi_. It's really terrible, especially if Kyungsoo slept late the night before. The only good thing about this is that he has Yixing. Servant Yixing is still Servant Yixing; there's no difference for him even though they've left the Parks and returned to the Dos. He still has duties to undertake, though now he's taken it upon himself to help out at the kitchens occasionally ever since he cooked that pot of green bean soup at the Parks and realised that he might enjoy cooking.

But if there's anything that Kyungsoo genuinely likes after returning home is the fact that he's been keeping contact with Mistress Park. Before this, Kyungsoo has never had contact with the Parks, much less his _yakhonja_. Only his mother had the channel to communicate with them, but she, too, rarely does so. It was only when Kyungsoo requested to be sent over as an undercover servant did Mistress Do send a letter over for the first time in years, and after both Kyungsoo and Yixing have been sent over, Kyungsoo's mother continued communicating with Mistress Park. The letters never stopped coming, but now, instead of one for Kyungsoo's mother, there's also one for him as well. Mistress Park seems to have taken it upon herself to update Kyungsoo on Chan– her son, even though Kyungsoo didn't ask for it and had never once replied to her.

In the past month and a half since Kyungsoo and Yixing have returned, after seeking permission from Mistress Park, Kyungsoo has received almost a letter for each day. The letters which he (carefully) stashes in a drawer of his study table probably amount to at least forty-six.

All of Mistress Park's forty-six letters describe the days of the Park household after Kyungsoo's sudden departure. Some letters were bright and cheerful, articulating the fantastic weather, the fun celebration of something, the hilarious actions of people in the household. Others were down and sulky, ranting about the terrible weather, the slump in the atmosphere during most meals, the frowns and scowls of people, the lack of words and laughter from _someone_. The content of Mistress Park's letters is unpredictable. Kyungsoo never knows what to expect that day. But there is one thing that is consistent in all of Mistress Park's letters.

Young Master Park.

In all forty-six letters of Mistress Park, her son has always been described as _sad and unhappy_. Kyungsoo understands why Young Master Park would be like that, and it's not that he's overestimating himself, but Kyungsoo really thinks it's because of him. Kyungsoo doesn't know what reason Mistress Park has come up with to justify his and Yixing's departure, but he hopes she didn't tell the truth.

And that is what Kyungsoo always thinks about each time he receives a new letter from Mistress Park. Letter Forty-Seven is in his hands currently, and Kyungsoo can't wait to read it. Despite having left the Parks, Kyungsoo finds himself still rather attached to that household and is invested in knowing what goes on there every day. (He's a tad embarrassed at that, and ropes in Yixing to join him, gives him the letters to read as well. Thankfully, Yixing is interested, and Kyungsoo knows exactly _why_ [in the form of two young men whom Mistress Park often writes about, fortunately].)

Plopping himself onto a stool, Kyungsoo gently takes out the letter from within the envelope and carefully spreads it out onto the table. Yixing enters his quarters just then, and Kyungsoo waves him over. He doesn’t wait for his friend to get settled, though, just begins reading.

Kyungsoo’s delight at receiving the letter wanes with each word he reads. It’s one of those letters, one of those down and sulky ones. Mistress Park’s neat and pretty words wrote of not the weather, nor herself or the servants, and not of Baekhyun and Sehun (which would be much to Yixing’s disappointment). Instead, the entire letter wrote of Young Master Park and his sudden switch of behaviour.

“ _‘He’s been smiling a lot lately, joking and laughing a lot, too.’_ ” Yixing reads aloud. “ _‘But even so, it’s clear to everyone that he’s only putting up a front.’_ Well, I think so, too.”

“I do, too, Xing,” Kyungsoo says. He drags a finger across another sentence. “ _‘Both Baekhyun and Sehun think he's gone nuts, the culmination of all the sadness, stress, and confusion, as well as the recurring nightmares. Yes, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol has had nightmares every night since last week. We know not why, and know not how to stop them.'_ ” The finger stops at the last word.

"Oh no, that sounds bad, really bad, Soo." Yixing looks at him, and Kyungsoo feels the utmost concern rolling off his best friend. Yixing's eyes are searing Kyungsoo's face with worry, contributing to the already-significantly high levels of fear and concern in Kyungsoo's body. "Chanyeol seems to be forcing himself, and now the nightmares are back to haunt him."

Kyungsoo gnaws on his bottom lip. He reads the letter once more, registers the sentences that write of Chan— _ugh forget it I’m done with the Young Master_ —yeol’s sudden change from down-in-the-dumps to over-the-rainbow. Yet, it’s so blatantly obvious that his behaviour isn’t real. He may be all smiles, but those smiles most certainly do not reach his eyes, do not come from the depths of his heart. If Chanyeol is still hurting, why is he forcing himself to smile? Does it not hurt? Does it not pain him to do this, to do something like this against his will? Kyungsoo doesn’t know what’s going on in Chanyeol’s head, and there’s no way he can find out on his own without going over to the Parks to–

_Oh._

“Soo, you have that expression on your face again,” Yixing pipes up. “Y’know, _that_ expression you had when you first came up with the idea of going undercover.”

“Really?” muses Kyungsoo. He looks up from the letter and turns to Yixing. Kyungsoo doesn’t need a mirror to know that _that_ expression of his is identical to the one he’s seeing on Yixing’s face right now (minus the dimple, of course). “Then I suppose you know what I’ve decided to do, Xing?”

“I sure do. And, I approve.”

“Thanks, Xing.”

“Go get him, tiger.”

 

\---

 

“When Baekhyun and Sehun said that someone was here to see me, I sure wasn’t expecting you.”

Upon hearing that familiar voice, Kyungsoo turns around to find the person that’s been visiting him in his dreams standing right there in front of him. It’s hard to keep himself from smiling, and so Kyungsoo doesn’t resist, allows himself to smile for the first time in Young Master Park’s compound after having left it two months ago.

“Well, if it helps, Baekhyun and Sehun didn’t take my reappearance too kindly either, and they almost didn’t want to listen to Mistress Park’s instructions to call for you,” says Kyungsoo, chuckling when he recalls the particular scene that only happened about a _gak_ ago. Both Baekhyun and Sehun had all but teasingly threw (light) punches at him before (literally) sweeping Yixing off his feet and went off to who-knows-where. “I hope they’re treating Yixing alright, though.”

Chanyeol is looking at him, and Kyungsoo watches as Chanyeol’s eyes drop to the ground before crawling back up. It’s no surprise that Chanyeol is surveying his outfit because it is different from the one Chanyeol is used to seeing on him.

“You were never a servant, were you?” Chanyeol’s eyes snap to Kyungsoo’s, gaze suddenly fiery. His tone is accusing, but Kyungsoo isn’t offended, knows that he shouldn’t be because he’s the one in the wrong. He was the one who left without saying a word.

So, he keeps his tone calm and neutral. “I wasn’t one, and probably never would be one. Though, my _eomanim_ has mentioned that I would have been one if not for my engagement." After saying that, Kyungsoo pauses to observe Chanyeol's reaction. He's pretty certain that Chanyeol still doesn't know that he's his _yakhonja_.

“En...gagement? Wait, _you_ are engaged to someone?”

Kyungsoo nods. “I am. But, first, please let me introduce myself.” He places both hands on his tummy and executes a ninety-degree bow. Kyungsoo stays bowing for a few seconds before straightening himself. His hands remain where they are. “I’m Do Kyungsoo, youngest son of the Do family from the neighbouring village. It’s nice to meet you.” Kyungsoo then takes a step forward, steps out from under the shade of the _maehwa namu_ that’s been sheltering him from the sun. Well, now Kyungsoo wants to be in the sun since his favourite sun has arrived.

"You– You're a young master?" Chanyeol's eyes have blown wide, his surprise at the information available for all to see. Nonetheless, his eyes are still so beautiful to Kyungsoo, who has to bite his lips to prevent a wistful sigh from slipping out. It would be embarrassing, and Kyungsoo _still_ doesn't do well with embarrassment.

"I am," answers Kyungsoo. He smiles even wider then because he's about to reveal the information that would most probably sweep Chanyeol off his feet. Literally. "I'm also the person you're supposed to marry." Kyungsoo takes a tiny step forward, closing the distance between him and Chanyeol by a foot. "I'm your _yakhonja_ , Chanyeol.”

It would have been hilarious, and Kyungsoo might have burst out laughing, if not for the pained grunt that comes from Chanyeol after he all but collapsed onto the ground after hearing Kyungsoo. He’d landed with a _thud_ and sickening _crack_ of what sounds like bones. Kyungsoo sees Chanyeol immediately sitting on his behind, hands flying to his knees, and he rubs circles on them. Guess that’s where the _crack_ came from.

Concerned, Kyungsoo unconsciously closes the short distance between him and Chanyeol and squats in front of him. He ignores the incredulous expression on Chanyeol's face to gently move Chanyeol's hands away from his knees before replacing them with his own. He starts to rub in circular motions gently. "Are you alright? I'm really sorry for causing you to fall."

Finally realising what he has done, Kyungsoo doesn’t dare to lift his eyes from where they’re looking at. He chooses to continue looking at how his hands are rubbing circles on Chanyeol’s knees. Chooses to speak to Chanyeol without looking at him. Embarrassment really is hard to deal with. “I’m sorry for surprising you like this, for disappearing and reappearing again. I’m really sorry, Chanyeol, I really am.”

A breeze blows, and instantly Kyungsoo is enveloped with a familiar scent that he's missed dearly for the past two months. He unconsciously inhales deeply, the corners of his lips rising on their own to form a content, loving smile. _Maehwa_ and earth, oh how he has missed them.

Kyungsoo continues to rub at Chanyeol’s knees, unwilling to acknowledge the elephant in the space. Chanyeol hasn’t spoken a single word since Kyungsoo told him that he’s his _yakhonja_ , and Kyungsoo can’t help but think of the worse. Is Chanyeol embarrassed that somebody this small and short is his _yakhonja_? Or is Chanyeol mad at the fact that his _yakhonja_ lied and fooled him into thinking he was a servant? Both options sound plausible, Kyungsoo could definitely see Chanyeol thinking about them. He could be both embarrassed and mad right now, but Kyungsoo doesn’t know because he still isn’t willing to look up at Chanyeol.

“Why…”

"H-Huh?" At Chanyeol's sword, Kyungsoo unconsciously lifts his head and looks at Chanyeol. He only registers what he has done when he finds himself unable to look away from Chanyeol's piercing gaze.

“Why did you become a servant when you’re clearly not one?”

A huge wave of embarrassment washes over Kyungsoo, causing him to stiffen, and his actions to stop; his hands rest on Chanyeol's knees without Kyungsoo realising. "I– Well, it's a rather dumb reason, actually, now that I think about it. Yixing thinks it's silly, too."

“What is it, then?” Chanyeol prompts.

"I… I don't want to attribute it to age, but just to let you know I'm eighteen years old this year, so I'm much younger than you, and it'd be good if you don't get too mad at me after hearing the reason. Okay, Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo timidly asks, his eyes still unable to look away from his _yakhonja_ ’s piercing eyes.

Chanyeol nods, brings a hand up to gesture for Kyungsoo to _go ahead_.

Kyungsoo inhales. “I wanted to find out if my _yakhonja_ is a nice person. I wanted to know if I could spend the rest of my life with this person I’m supposed to marry.” There it is. Kyungsoo has finally said it. Staring into the eyes of his _yakhonja_ , Kyungsoo feels that he’s being searched by those eyes. In his anxiousness, he doesn’t see how his hands are balling themselves in the fabric of Chanyeol’s _durumagi_.

Silence. Then Chanyeol speaks, "So you came here to be a servant to find out if your _yak_ – I mean, if _I_ , since I’m supposedly that _yakhonja_ of yours, am a nice person? That was all?”

Kyungsoo is unable to detect an ounce of anger in Chanyeol's words, but he knows better than to assume that there is none. Chanyeol is much older in years than he and would have known how to carefully control his voice, to not let any emotion show. Unlike Chanyeol, Kyungsoo is pretty sure that his every emotion is betrayed and detectable in his voice, making him easy to read. But he doesn't bother to mask them, thinks that, perhaps, it would be better for his emotions to be on show. Like now. Kyungsoo hopes that Chanyeol can see how apologetic he is.

It doesn’t seem to have worked, for Chanyeol’s tone of voice remains the same. It’s still monotonous, disinterested, and Kyungsoo doesn’t like it one bit, thinks that Chanyeol’s anger is just simmering quietly beneath all that detachment.

“Then, why did you leave?”

“Be– Because of your feelings towards me,” says Kyungsoo, softly. “You told me that you like me, even though you knew that we would never be together. And I could see that you were in pain, probably because you realised that you’re a young master while I was a servant and that our relationship would never be able to amount to anything.

“But the thing is, I was happy. I was so happy when you confessed to me that night. But the elation quickly died down when I realised that your feelings for me might not truly be for _me_. Your feelings are for Soo, the servant who was by your side for all those months, and not for Young Master Do Kyungsoo, the person whom that servant really is. I’m not saying that I behaved differently when I was a servant, but there were bound to be minute differences due to contexts. That was when I became aware of what I was doing to you. I was fooling you, lying to you. Because Soo doesn’t exist, your feelings for Soo shouldn’t exist. So I knew I had to go, had to leave before your feelings for this persona grows even more.”

In the midst of his explanation, Kyungsoo has somehow managed to avert his eyes from Chanyeol’s searching ones. He’s brought them down to his hands, startled to find how they’ve fisted Chanyeol’s _durumagi_ so tightly that deep creases have formed after Kyungsoo lets go. He thinks about patting them straight but decides against it because he'd have to be in contact with Chanyeol and that's not something Kyungsoo wants to do right now. He's certain that Chanyeol is mad, now that he knows the entire story. Kyungsoo waits for the explosion…

… which doesn’t arrive. For Chanyeol just remains silent, crosses his legs and sits on the ground as he always has done. In Kyungsoo’s peripheral vision, he makes out Chanyeol arranging his _durumagi_ , patting creases out and Kyungsoo can’t help but feel guilty.

It is a few moments of tranquillity before Chanyeol's voice permeates the silent air and brings Kyungsoo out of his slight daze. "I… actually thought you left because you found out about my… nightmares. Though, now that I know that you're my _yakhonja_ , it does seem very plausible.”

Kyungsoo emerges from his daze to see Chanyeol looking at him. But gone is the piercing stare. Instead, Kyungsoo sees fear and apprehension. They're not good emotions for Chanyeol; they're marring his handsome countenance.

“I do know about your nightmares.”

"Oh." Slight surprise flickers across Chanyeol's face, but it soon vanishes, and he returns to the blank expression his face had been donning. "I guessed as much since Sehun told me about you asking him about my nightmares. Do you–" Chanyeol suddenly perks up, eyes darting up to Kyungsoo's. "Do you, perhaps, know what my nightmares were about? Did Sehun tell you?"

Kyungsoo immediately shakes his head. "He didn't, said that it wasn't his story to tell. Said to me to ask you instead." He pauses, then adds, "He's a great friend, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol’s expression goes fond. “Yeah, he is. And so is Baekhyun.” The smile turns wistful, then fades away altogether. “Then, I suppose it’s time for me to tell you that story, Soo– I mean, Kyungsoo.”

The way Chanyeol’s eyes had lit up in that split second of when he said _Soo_ makes Kyungsoo want to tell him that _no you don’t have to change you can continue to call me Soo if you want to_. But, he doesn't, because it's inappropriate, and because the context is now different. Kyungsoo pretends not to have seen the way Chanyeol's face sank when saying his name— _Kyungsoo_. "You don't have to tell me if you don't wish to because I know how hard it might be for you to relive those memories you might have been desperately trying to erase. It's okay, you don't have to tell me, Chanyeol. You really don't have to."

“But I want to.” The expression on Chanyeol’s face is fiercely determined. “I have to tell you because you’re my _yakhonja_ , S– Kyungsoo. I am obligated to let you know, and you are obligated to know.”

And who is Kyungsoo to put down the person who has that face on? He nods, then makes himself comfortable on the ground as well. With a quiet inhale, Kyungsoo lifts his head and prepares to finally know just what exactly transpired during his father's death.

"It's true. I was there when your _abanim_ died. I was hiding in the bushes a short distance away from where the bandits attacked your _abanim_ 's entourage. I didn't mean to be there at the time. I was there without my guards, ran out on them after being told for the umpteenth time to stay within their field of vision. I was young then, didn't understand what they meant, and escaped from under their noses with a distraction." A corner of Chanyeol's lips twitched, and Kyungsoo thinks he's about to crack a smile when a grey cloud suddenly appears above Chanyeol's head; Kyungsoo realises what's about to be said.

“About two _gaks_ after I ran away from my guards, I saw this palanquin going through the forest, and thought about seeking a ride to the nearest village. I was about to run down to that palanquin when a battle cry rang out, and a massive horde of bandits suddenly rushed out from nowhere. Blades were immediately drawn, and they clashed against one another relentlessly. Whoever was in the palanquin—which I knew later was your _abanim_ —had guards, but there were way more bandits, so I knew that the chances of this entourage surviving were low.

“Yet, they didn’t go down without a fight. Bandits fell one after another as the guards fought, although many of your _abanim_ 's servants died at once when the bandits came onto them, and no one was prepared. Your _abanim_ , though, was disregarding his guards’ yells of _stay back Master_ , and had come out of the palanquin to help fight the bandits.” Then, Chanyeol pauses, his eyes suddenly glinting. “Kyungsoo, did you know that your _abanim_ wields a sword well?"

At the sudden call of his name, Kyungsoo is a little out of the situation, but he quickly recovers and shakes his head. “No, I didn’t. _Eomanim_ didn’t tell me that _abanim_ could. Only said that he wields a brush well."

It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, but Chanyeol bursts out into laughter, startling Kyungsoo who jumps a little before staring incredulously at the laughing young man in front of him. It’s been awhile since Kyungsoo has seen Chanyeol’s laughing face, and he can’t deny that he misses it. Misses Chanyeol.

“Well, now you know,” says Chanyeol, as he stops laughing. The atmosphere immediately reverts to what it was like previously. “With his sword, your _abanim_ fought, but he wasn't fighting to protect himself. Instead, he was protecting his servants, but in the process of doing so, he was afflicted with numerous wounds that wouldn't stop bleeding. He gradually became worn out, and I could tell that the deaths of his servants, many of whom had stepped in front of him to protect him from the blades of the bandits, were getting to him. Most of your _abanim_ 's guards managed to take out most of the bandits, but there were too many, and when your _abanim_ went d-down after a bandit slashed him from b-behind, the surviving guards all but gave up and c-committed suicide.”

It seems that Chanyeol is done. Kyungsoo gingerly darts his gaze back to Chanyeol’s face, only to, in the next instant, launch himself right at Chanyeol. Because he’s crying. _How?_ How had Chanyeol managed to articulate that later part of his story without his voice betraying the emotion that he must have been feeling? Kyungsoo hadn’t detected anything, having dropped his eyes back down to his lap, where his hands are fidgeting, after feeling a blush coming on due to Chanyeol’s dazzling laughing face.

“W-Why are you crying?” Kyungsoo asks, his hands reflexively reaching towards Chanyeol’s head. His fingers find their places along the sides of Chanyeol’s face, palms gently cupping his cheeks. Kyungsoo vaguely registers how he’s seated on Chanyeol’s lap, but he doesn’t care—why should he when Chanyeol himself doesn’t seem to realise the awkward position they’re in, and when he is still sobbing. Kyungsoo thumbs Chanyeol’s tears away. “Chanyeol…”

“I– I’m sorry, Kyungsoo,” stammers Chanyeol. His tears are unstoppable, and even though Kyungsoo is trying his best to keep them away from Chanyeol’s _durumagi_ , they still escape his clutches, forming several wet patches. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t protect your _abanim_.”

Chanyeol’s tears are beginning to slide down Kyungsoo’s arms, and Kyungsoo momentarily removes his hands from Chanyeol’s face to dry them on his own _durumagi_. It's then does he realise that Chanyeol's hands are clutching at his sides. It's no wonder Kyungsoo faintly feels pressure against his sides but hasn't had the attention to give much thought to it. He looks at how Chanyeol's hands are so large, marvels at how half of his waist is within Chanyeol's hands. Kyungsoo feels a little giddy at that, a little exhilaration at the size difference. But upon hearing another of Chanyeol's sobs, he returns his attention to the sobbing young man.

His tears are still flowing, seemingly never-ending. The top of his _durumagi_ is almost soaked, and Kyungsoo worries about Chanyeol catching a cold if his tears have soaked through to his _jeogori_. The weather is getting cold and usually calls for thicker _durumagi_. As someone who has seen and washed most of Young Master Park’s _durumagi_ , Kyungsoo is certain that this _durumagi_ is not meant for the cold. He makes a mental note to remind Baekhyun to bring out Chanyeol’s winter _durumagi_ from wherever they’re kept.

"I didn't mean to hide and not call for help," sobs Chanyeol. "I– I was afraid of dying, so I stayed hidden while all those people and your _abanim_ died. I’m a coward, a coward who could have saved your _abanim_ because he– he was– still _breathing_.”

Kyungsoo’s breath hitches in his throat. “Breathing? W-What do you mean by that, Chanyeol?”

"He– After the bandits left, I don't know why I did that, but I went down. While I was walking around the scene, he– he called out to me. I don't know where I got the courage from, but even though his hand was all bloody, I held it. Your _abanim_ looked at me with those wizened eyes of his and, now that I’m looking at you, I realise that you have his eyes. You have your _abanim_ 's eyes, Kyungsoo." A corner of Chanyeol's lips rises a little. "I'm not sure, for my memory's slightly foggy from here onwards, but your _abanim_ held my hand tightly, his strength unlike that of someone who has sustained so many injuries, and beckoned me to go close to him.”

Chanyeol’s face suddenly brightens, as though something just dawned on him. “Oh.”

"Chanyeol?" Kyungsoo asks, hands applying a little pressure against his face. "Chanyeol is something wr–"

"I remember now," Chanyeol says. His eyes snap to Kyungsoo's, the abrupt action taking Kyungsoo off-guard. "I remember now, Kyungsoo. I _remember_."

“Chanyeol, did you lose your memory? Why are you saying that you remember?”

Shaking his head, Chanyeol replies, “I didn’t lose my memory, I think. It’s just that I haven’t told anyone about this, about me making contact with your _abanim_. Everyone thinks I'd only witnessed it since my guards found me a short distance away from the scene. But I remember now. I remember listening to him." He looks at Kyungsoo again, eyes glistening with unshed tears and clarity. "I remember what your _abanim_ said to me, Kyungsoo.”

His father's… last words. Kyungsoo returns Chanyeol's gaze with eagerness and nods to let him know that he wants to hear it, his father's last words.

"He probably wanted me to convey it to his family, but I didn't because I developed some sort of trauma and I couldn't remember anything after that." An apologetic expression form on Chanyeol's face. "But now I do! And I have the very person whom his message was for, right in front of me.” He gestures to Kyungsoo, and smiles.

“Kyungsoo, your _abanim_ ’s last words were about you.”

Kyungsoo doesn't know that his entire body is shaking until Chanyeol has his arms wrapped around him, pressing their bodies against each other. The tremors of his body are unable to shake Chanyeol's body, and in turn, its steadiness gradually lessened the tremors until Kyungsoo's body stops shaking altogether. It's then does Chanyeol release Kyungsoo from his arms, though, his hands immediately find Kyungsoo's.

“I’m going to repeat word for word what your _abanim_ said to me, alright, Kyungsoo?” Dipping his head down to let his eyes meet with Kyungsoo’s, Chanyeol gently envelopes both of Kyungsoo’s hands. Kyungsoo wonders if his hands are trembling, or Chanyeol’s; then finds that it doesn’t matter.

“ _‘Tell this to my unborn child: I love you, and even though I would never get to see you for the first time, nor watch you grow up to be the strong man or virtuous lady I'm sure you'd be or see you get married to whomever your beautiful heart wishes, I just want you to know, dear child, that I love you. Your_ abanim _loves you so, so much. Be happy, be content, and love with all your heart.’_ ”

Chanyeol’s words taper off into silence after that, and Kyungsoo knows that he’s done with his father’s last words. The silence’s meaning is clear, that Kyungsoo’s father probably breathed his last shortly after.

His father's last words don't hit Kyungsoo until he feels Chanyeol gently letting go of his hands, placing them on his lap. It's not supposed to be a reflex, but Kyungsoo's hands immediately latch onto Chanyeol's, fingers slipping between gaps, palms finding palms. Kyungsoo's forehead also searches for a place on Chanyeol, resting on Chanyeol's shoulder with an ease that usually comes with familiarity. Kyungsoo hasn't done this before, so he shouldn't be feeling so comfortable, but he does, and he likes it. A lot more than he thought he would.

It’s only then does Kyungsoo let out a soft, soft sigh. He feels as though an imaginary burden on his shoulders have been lifted, the rock within his chest smashed to bits and pieces, allowing fresh air to enter and nourish. Kyungsoo feels as though he finally sees his father as someone who was alive, was real, and not just someone who only appears in other people’s stories.

“Thank you, Chanyeol,” breathes Kyungsoo. “Thank you for listening to my _abanim_.”

Kyungsoo hears the delight in Chanyeol's voice. "You're most welcome, Kyungsoo. I'm beyond happy to have been able to convey that message to you finally. I'm sorry that it took eighteen years, though."

Shaking his head, Kyungsoo brings his head up from Chanyeol's chest. He looks into Chanyeol's beautiful, beautiful eyes. "It doesn't matter. What is important is that I've received it, and now I can finally think of my _abanim_ as someone who was real, as someone who really loved me. Because all these years, I could only regard him as someone who lived in the stories of my family members. They'd tell me how he loves me, but even though I believed them, there was always this tiny part of me that wouldn't take their word for it. He's a dead person, you know, so how was I to know whether he actually loved me?"

“Kyungsoo…”

“As bad as that sounded, it was true. For many years, I half-believed and half-didn’t believed that my _abanim_ loves me. But now–” A smile spreads across Kyungsoo’s face, its joy reaching his eyes. “–now that I’ve heard his last words, I believe. I believe wholeheartedly that my _abanim_ loves me, his unborn child from eighteen years ago.”

Chanyeol nods his head vehemently, expressing his acknowledgement of Kyungsoo's epiphany. "That's really wonderful, Kyungsoo. I'm happy for you, I really am. But at the same time, I'm still very sorry for your loss. A loss that I could have prevented if only I ran for help."

Sensing that Chanyeol is about to spiral back into his pity party, Kyungsoo immediately barks, “Stop it. It’s not your fault. You were only a _child_ , and as a child, you couldn't have done anything. Even if you have gotten help, there was probably nothing anyone could have done to save them." His voice softens. "So stop blaming yourself already, Chanyeol. You are not in the least bit of wrong."

Kyungsoo's courage appeared out of nowhere, and upon seeing how Chanyeol's eyes are glistening again, he surges up and lightly presses his lips onto the corners of one, two of Chanyeol's eyes. When Chanyeol lets his eyelids flutter shut, Kyungsoo surges up again and leaves a light kiss on each of Chanyeol's trembling eyelids. A deep flush colours Kyungsoo's face after that, but he thinks his embarrassment is worth it when a small, content smile forms on Chanyeol's face.

 

“Kyungsoo, I have something to say to you.”

Opening his eyes, Kyungsoo looks to where Chanyeol is right next to him. He tilts his head.

Recognising that Kyungsoo is silently urging him to continue, Chanyeol says, “Remember I said to you, that there’s something about this _maehwa namu_ that I have to say to someone.”

Kyungsoo nods. “Yeah, I remember. You wouldn’t tell me back then.” A frown forms on his face. “Made me wonder about it for almost a week.”

Chanyeol laughs. “I’m sorry, that was before I knew that I could have told you. Before I knew that you are that _someone_ whom I've wanted to tell."

An unexplainable surge of anticipation courses through Kyungsoo, but as someone who doesn’t want people to read him that easily, Kyungsoo pretends to be impassive to Chanyeol’s words. “Why do you have so many things to tell your _yakhonja_. Sheesh.”

 _Chanyeol’s pout is not adorable not cute not anything_ is what Kyungsoo chants in his head as he looks at Chanyeol’s pouting face. Goodness gracious, this young man who’s lived for twenty-seven years does _not_ possess the mind of someone his age. Is everyone sure that their Young Master Park isn’t, say, seventeen years old instead?

The pout on Chanyeol’s face dissolves as Chanyeol begins to speak, a casual smile replacing it. “Anyway, as I was saying. I have something to say to you, Kyungsoo, since you’re my… _yakhonja_.”

 _The way Chanyeol calls me his_ yakhonja _is not satisfying not tempting not anything_ is what Kyungsoo chants in his head next. He keeps his hands in his lap, clasps them together because he feels his fingers twitching and itching to be somewhere else.

“Where we are now, your _abanim_ is with us.”

At Chanyeol's cryptic words, Kyungsoo blinks in confusion. He sends Chanyeol his best confused look. "Eh?" And his most intelligent reply, it seems.

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything, just slots a finger under Kyungsoo’s chin and gently tilts his head up until his entire vision is filled with the rather-bare branches of the _maehwa namu_. Kyungsoo’s confusion increases, but he’s unable to bring his head back down because Chanyeol’s finger is still pressing lightly against the underside of his chin. “Chanyeol,” he whines. “I don’t understand.”

"You will after I say this to you," says Chanyeol. There is a chirp to his voice, a lilt. Kyungsoo can tell that he's probably smiling.

“This _maehwa namu_ isn’t mine, Kyungsoo. It belongs to someone else.”

“Stop beating around the bush.”

A chuckle. Then, “It belongs to a Master Do. This tree is your _abanim_ ’s, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo feels as though all the air have been emptied out of his lungs, for he suddenly finds himself unable to breathe. What…? _This…_ maehwa namu _is my_ abanim _’s? How could it be?_

“It came to be here because when your family had to sell it, my family was the one who bought it from them. Or, rather, it was I who begged my _abanim_ to buy it and plant it in my garden.” Chanyeol removes his finger from Kyungsoo’s chin, places that hand onto Kyungsoo’s shoulder. “I wanted to buy it because at that time I was already told that the man whom I saw die was the _abanim_ of my _yakhonja_. And at that point, I only had one thought in my head the moment _eomanim_ told me that your family was selling their _maehwa namu_.”

Kyungsoo slowly lowers his head, shifts his eyes to look straight at Chanyeol. “A-And what thought was that?”

“The thought of wanting you to see it.”

The atmosphere isn't dense, isn't even sad for goodness' sake, but Kyungsoo cries. And in his blurry vision, he makes out Chanyeol's smile and hears his bark of laughter. Kyungsoo makes a move to whack him. He misses, and he hears Chanyeol _roar_ in laughter. "H-Here I am crying, and yo-you are laughing at me. How horrid!"

Warmth spreads across his face when Kyungsoo feels fingers attempting to wipe his tears. Knowing that it’s Chanyeol, Kyungsoo purposely pulls his face away, only to gasp aloud when a hand slips to the back of his head and _pushes_.

"Stop moving," instructs Chanyeol. "Here I am trying to wipe your tears for you, and you are avoiding me. How _horrid_!”

The way Chanyeol copied him distracts Kyungsoo from the firm grip Chanyeol's hand has on his hand, and from the warmth that peppers against his lips. They feel dry, but Kyungsoo doesn't dare to send his tongue out to wet them.

“There there, stop crying, alright.” Chanyeol removes his hand from Kyungsoo’s face after having cleaned and wiped away most of Kyungsoo’s tears. He sends Kyungsoo a grin. “For someone who’s eighteen years old, you’re quite a baby, Kyungsoo.”

“Am not,” huffs Kyungsoo. He tries hard to ignore his mind who _unhelpfully_ supplies him with the fact that Chanyeol has not removed the hand he has on the back of Kyungsoo’s head. _What do you think he’s going to do with it_ , his mind ponders. _Shut up_ , replies Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol doesn’t reply to that. Instead, he looks up at the branches of the _maehwa namu_ before returning his attention to Kyungsoo. “So, now that you know that your _abanim_ ’s tree is here, what are your thoughts?”

“... This feels oddly familiar.”

"It does, doesn't it?" Chanyeol laughs. "But I remember telling you my thoughts, so this time it's your turn. You can't back out now!"

Kyungsoo shoots Chanyeol a glare, but it falters when Chanyeol returns the favour with a grin and a wink. Goodness gracious, what is with this young man. Kyungsoo doesn't know how to deal.

“Remember you said that you’ve always felt a presence whenever you’re with this tree, as though someone was with you. Well, now that you told me that this is my _abanim_ ’s tree, what if that presence you felt, and the one that I’ve felt as well, is that of my _abanim_ ’s.” Kyungsoo turns to look at the _namu_ ’s trunk, reaches a hand out to rest on it. He feels the roughness of the bark under his hand. “I think this _maehwa namu_ contains my _abanim_ ’s soul.”

This takes Kyungsoo back to that first time he laid eyes on it. When he had hugged it, he felt at ease. It felt as though someone has their arms circled around him, as though the tree had hugged him back.

It felt as though his father was with him.

And now that he knows that this _maehwa namu_ is indeed his father’s, Kyungsoo is more certain than ever. His father definitely lives on through this tree. He’s accompanied Chanyeol for eighteen years, has watched over him, has seen him through both good times and bad. And Kyungsoo is glad that the tree could be with Chanyeol through his tough times, and he’s also thankful towards Chanyeol for bringing the tree back with him.

So that he could see it for the first time.

In that instant, Kyungsoo’s heart flutters. While Kyungsoo’s heart has always beat faster whenever Kyungsoo is near Chanyeol, this time it’s different. It’s fluttering, irregular spasms instead of constant thumps. Erratic versus steady. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to make out of this.

Yet, it seems that Chanyeol knows.

“Kyungsoo? I have another thing to tell you.”

“Hmm?” Pushing that thought of his fluttering heart aside, Kyungsoo focuses his attention on Chanyeol. The serious expression on his face sets off the alarms in Kyungsoo’s head. Is he going to–

“My feelings for you haven’t changed.”

– _yep_ , he is.

Kyungsoo should be delighted about this. He should be overjoyed that Chanyeol still likes him even after all… _this_. Yet, Kyungsoo isn’t, not that much anyway, because he’s already considered something that he wants Chanyeol to do before confessing again.

“Thank you for still liking me, Chanyeol, but now that I’m no longer a servant, I’m afraid that you might be projecting Soo’s image onto me,” Kyungsoo calmly explains. He takes in Chanyeol’s faltering expression, sees how his eyes are glistening, and quickly adds on, “I’m not rejecting you! This is– This is just something that I thought about during those two months of not seeing you, and Yixing wanted me to bring this up in case you confess. Which you just did. So… I’m suggesting that you take your confession back. For the time being.”

Chanyeol looks devastated, like he’s about to break down. Kyungsoo hurriedly does damage control. “I already said that this isn’t me rejecting you! I’m just saying that we should spend more time together, as Young Master Park and Young Master Do, before you tell me how you feel. Because as I’ve said, I probably behaved differently. You might like me when I was a servant, but you might not now that I’ve gone back to being who I really am.”

Pursing his lips, he looks right at Chanyeol. “Do you understand what I’m getting at?” The blank expression on Chanyeol’s face is all the answer Kyungsoo needs. He sighs. “Chan–”

“Okay.”

“–ye– Huh?”

“I agree with your terms,” says Chanyeol. He nods in affirmation, but edges his face close to Kyungsoo’s before saying, “But this is me telling you that I _know_ how I feel about you, and I know that my feelings for you won’t change even if you are now a young master.” He closes the gap between their faces even more. “I know that I’ll _still_ like you, Kyungsoo.”

Then, he presses his lips onto Kyungsoo’s.

In that instant, Kyungsoo’s fluttering heart _soars_. Chanyeol's lips are just barely making contact with Kyungsoo's, but Kyungsoo feels as though sparks are popping up behind his eyes. His entire body tingles, and Kyungsoo thinks he's never felt this… _happy_. Though, all that is happening on the inside of Kyungsoo. On the outside of Kyungsoo, his entire face is red, and it _burns_.

Unbeknownst to his young _yakhonja_ ’s plight, Chanyeol whispers against Kyungsoo’s lips, “I know I’ll still find myself looking at you, searching for you, wanting to spend more time with you. I know that my feelings won’t change just because your status did. Because you’re you. Because you’re Kyungsoo. Because you’re _my_ Kyungsoo.”

Chanyeol’s words almost cause Kyungsoo to abandon his suggestion (which would have earned himself Yixing’s wrath), because _goodness gracious this young man and his sweet, sweet tongue_. Kyungsoo is only eighteen years old, has never been in a relationship. He is naive (as much as he doesn’t want to admit), gullible, and easily manipulated. He knows that he shouldn’t believe or trust the words of people because they could be lies, and lies are bad.

Yet, Kyungsoo doesn't doubt Chanyeol. Maybe it's because they've spent months together, and Kyungsoo has seen with his own eyes how Chanyeol is every day. Or maybe it's because Kyungsoo feels that he should wholeheartedly put his trust in his _yakhonja_ because he’s a person that his grandfather handpicked for him to marry, there should be nothing wrong with his _yakhonja_. Or maybe it's just because Kyungsoo has always had this gut feeling that his _yakhonja_ would be the nicest person (or second to Yixing) he would ever meet and that he would have no qualms in believing him.

Or maybe it's because of this simple thing called ‘love'. The love for Chanyeol that sprouted and steadily grew in Kyungsoo made him put his trust in Chanyeol, made him wholeheartedly believe in Chanyeol, made him never to doubt Chanyeol. Perhaps it's just this simple. Because Kyungsoo loves Chanyeol, that is why he doesn't doubt him.

And that is why Kyungsoo murmurs back, “Okay, I accept your feelings.” Then adds, “I like you, too, Chanyeol.”

But, at the thought of Yixing, Kyungsoo adds one more. “But we’re still going to spend time with each other just in case.”

Chanyeol hums, “Okay.”

Kyungsoo smiles, presses his lips back onto Chanyeol’s, and feels his heart beat, flutter, and soar.

 

\---

 

“Now that you’ve evaluated me on my ‘niceness’, how did I fare?”

“Not bad.”

“That’s it? Just a _not bad_?! How can it be!? I’ve been told that I’m mature, good-looking, absolutely stunning, and I have many _asshi_ s crowding around me whenever I head out. But all you had to say after spending all those months with me is that I’m _not bad_!?”

“I don’t want to have to lie, Chanyeol.”

“Lie!? Are you lying to me about you liking me then–  _mmpf_!”

“... Please keep your volume down. _Abanim_ needs his rest, can’t you see how his leaves have all fallen?”

“Are you okay, Kyungsoo? I know why your face is all red, but I fear for the condition of your mind. Do I need to call a physician for y– _mmpf_!”

“Should I not have done that, because why do I think that you’re purposely riling me up so that I would kiss you.”

“Oops, I got caught.”

“... How are you twenty-seven years old…”

"Because I'm not! I might be seventeen years old."

“... Yeah, yeah. You continue doing just that, continue to deceive yourself. I’m going to go see how Yixing is faring in the clutches of Baekhyun and Sehun, and free him from them.”

“Nooooooooo, come back here! Do Kyungsoo! Come back to meeeeeee– _mmpf_!”

“Last one! No more! If not you’ll probably be kissed to death.”

“I… don’t… mind.”

"Is it possible to take back my words about me liking you?"

“Never! You’re mine! You’re not going anywhere with my heart, and I’m not going to let you go anywhere with mine, either.”

“I’m starting to really believe that you might actually be seventeen years old, Yeol.”

“I am no– Wait, did you just call me _Yeol_?”

“Uh, must have slipped out…”

“I don’t mind hearing more of it, and I hope you won’t mind hearing more of me calling you _Soo_.”

“... I don’t.”

“Great! Because now that we’re past the formalities, why don’t we go straight into your suggestion of _spending time with each other_ by me showing you how I _am_ twenty-seven years old, okay, _Soo_?”

“I am _not_ going to your quarters! Help! Yixing, help me!”

“Yixing won’t be able to help you, because knowing Baekhyun and Sehun… Yixing probably can’t even help himself MUAHAHAHAH _you’re mine_.”

“Park Chanyeol– _mmpf_!”

**Author's Note:**

> Ppppppps, did you realise that you were reading a _super_ low-key Yixing appreciation fic *w*
> 
> Pppppppps, happy birthday Yixing! <3 (yes, i requested for my story to be posted on this special day just to be able to wish him hehe)


End file.
